Breaking up is easy to do...
I'm trying to pull myself back together after seeing the shocking news that Eminem has filed for divorce from his boo Kim for the second time. This one less than 3 months after marrying old girl again. *Sigh* I have to admit I never saw it coming, y'all. Maa fact, here're nine other nuggets that caught a brother *completely* by surprise...Pissed off sisters in trouble!
Rep. Cynthia McKinney D-GA claiming racism after refusing to stop for a Capitol Police officer who didn't recognize her because she finally ditches those tired braids for an ill-formed 'fro. Now come on, homegirl! If 98% of southside brothers can't recognize their own shortys if they get their hair wet (northsiders: black hair + perm + water = unintentional afro...) who's gonna blame a northside Capitol Police officer? Ease up, Cyndy and stop selling those wolf tickets everytime things don't go your way! Mighty funny how she dropped a mea culpa when all of her Black Congressional Caucus colleagues took one, giant step back away from old girl...
What kind of job do you have when you have to sneak quietly around to avoid high velocity projectiles from impacting your dome? Special Forces soldier? Nope - try housekeeper for Naomi Campbell. Seems even laid back supermodels can go postal sometimes cuz we all know our girl Naomi is chill like a pill. What could have driven old girl to bounce her cell phone off her housekeeper's bean so badly she needed a couple staples to close the wound? Laying that cotton throw blanket on the couch a little too loud? Missing that one spider web thread in one corner of the kitchen's vaulted ceiling? I'm sure the details will surface now that old girl has been charged with 2nd degree assault. Homeboys - I know she's kinda cute and she has that British accent going on but who in their right mind is going to step out with Naomi? Man, one wrong word and she's mixing up a batch of hot grits to toss on yo a$$ It wasn't me...
No jail time for Debbie Lafave. New math, y'all - cute, young blonde haired, blue eyed teacher + 14 year old hormone crazed boy = 0 years in jail. Wow - now that's what I call gender progress. Seems old girl was able to parlay a claim of being bipolar into a get out of jail free card. Hmmm, I can hear the wheels turning at Catholic parishes all over the country...
Beltway greed poster boy Rep. Tom Delay R-TX has decided to call it a day on his political career. Somehow you knew there were tears behind his bogus smiling mug shot and all that false bravado. He knew the deal but as a good Texan he was just trying to cowboy up and put a little lipstick on that pig he was trying to sell. Anyway, don't cry for him Argentina. The truth is he'll be making millions on the lobby circuit before you can say Jack Abramoff...Payback's a Be-Yotch...
Nick Lachey is trying to get spousal support. Go 'head, Nick! Get yours, homey! Always good to see a little table turning going on. I remember when Joan Lunden's (former Good Morning America host) househusband went this same route and old girl asked loud and long why he could just get off his Can I borrow a dollar and your make-up mirror?
Doc Gooden's back in county oranges again y'all. The only question here is where's his cut buddy Money for nothing...
Katie Couric, arguably America's most overpaid and overrated television host is leaving NBC's Today Show for And finally, after working just a little over 19 days this year, Congress goes back on break for Easter and only plans to work 2 weeks in April and only 97 days for the entire year in Washington. I'm all for those boyz mandating that type of work schedule for the rest of the American people (or at least GW's work schedule). You have to admire that crew though - they really know how to balance work and family life while pulling in over six figures a year from their day jobs. It's like Eddie Murphy said in The Distinguished Gentleman - working in CONgress is the biggest con in the world.
Hey, just in case y'all don't hear from me for a few - do me a favor and check the manifest down at Guantanamo from time to time...
Peace@Least,
Tyrone
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