I'm sitting here munching on some of 'Tini Mack's left over Lime Chips and pondering the news he dropped at our last poker sitdown. As you've heard me say from time to time, it's always good to have a little time to bond with the fellas so you can expound on the actual factuals over some good food, drink and poker. There are always a few tasty details dropped and, in this case, 'Tini dropped one about my boss (I sometimes do freelance work outside the basement, y'all. A brother needs a few duckets in his pocket to keep moms from cutting off the heat and it's *cold* here in Chicago, people!). Anyway, 'Tini, ever the diplomat says, "Dude, if your boss ever tries to hand you a memo, don't take it". I ask why not and he says, "cuz I was in the bathroom earlier today and he rolled out of the stall without washing his hands!" Hence the title of this post y'all - that type of behavior is just straight nasty and sadly, according to the American Society of Microbiologists, all too common...
See nasty a$$ sh&t like that's the reason why Japanese folks avoid the whole ingrained American custom of the greeting handshake. A bow at five paces will save you that unexpected E. Coli infection your boss is set to pass on because he was too busy to wipe his a$$ then *wash* his nasty hands!! How is this possible when we're trained as biddy bop, crumbsnatchers to always wash up? Let's see what those Microbiologists have to say about this...Hmmm, according to their September 27th New York Times report, though 91% of folks surveyed claimed they wash their hands after bathroom extracirriculars, observers found only 82% actually did so. What's up with that other nasty 9%? The survey polled about a 1,000 folks so we're talking roughly 90 nasty a$$es who willing rolled out the restroom without so much as a drop of water hitting their hands. I'm sure something else was hitting those hands, but clearly no water. Damn. Let's continue
since it gets worse. 90% of women washed their hands vs. just 75% of men. Damn, fellas! And we wonder why women don't want us holding the remote!!The survey folks had observers staked out at Turner Field in Atlanta, the Museum of Science and Industry and the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, Grand Central Station and Penn Station in New Yawk City and the Ferry Terminal Farmer's Market in San Francisco. It's no surprise that only 74% of baseball fans in Atlanta washed up - since baseball's so damn nasty anyway with all that spitting and scratching going on during the game. Also no surprise that only 79% of New Yawk commuters washed up since we are talking about New Yawk. The *BIG* surprise was how hygenic the 'Frisco folks were clocking in at 88%. Why is that a surprise? You do the math, y'all... But the big ups go the Chicago crew at the Shedd Aquarium who doused their digits 89% of the time. I'm pretty sure Mayor Daley will figure out how to claim credit for that too.
Damn - with behavior like this, you know when the Asian Bird Flu busts out we're all going down. 'Cept me that is - I've got my little survival kit all stocked up here in the basement...Epsom Salt, iodine, face mask, mama's chicken soup and a year's supply of Maxim magazines as I'll probably have to cut the shortys short for the duration (unless they come equipped with a clean, same day health report). In the meantime, I'm off to take a long, hot shower, y'all before copping some latex gloves for my trip to work tomorrow...
Peace@Least,
Tyrone
No comments:
Post a Comment