Smooth Baracks it out the park

Wassup, Y'all!

Sorry! Meant to hit y'all with this on Friday, but ol Ty got caught up. The good news about that is that I had time to see the Nielsen ratings for Smooth's acceptance speech and they were huge - 38 million viewers. 38 million viewers. Ring up another first in the Smooth column along with those eye-popping fund raising records - this convention was viewed by more folks than any other in history, outdrawing such notables as, 'the Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing, the final 'American Idol' [and] the Academy Awards this year'. Lookin' forward to seeing the Repub convention numbers and Citizen McCain's acceptance speech draw - zzzzz. And Citizen's VP pick? Damn, y'all - that deserves a post alllllll its own.

Anyway, proceed to the jump to see what you should have seen on Friday...

Wooo. Can't say Smooth didn't deliver the goods Thursday night in front of 84,000+. That venue was insane and provided the perfect backdrop for a moment steeped in so much history. As much as I liked Smooth's soaring inspirational past speeches, ol Ty has to admit I now have a fond affection for his ability to smoothly smack some a$$ as well. I've always thought that there should be a fine balance between Martin's 'turn the other cheek' and Malcolm's 'by any means necessary' and last night ol Ty thinks that Smooth has finally tapped into it. It's that whole 'disagree without being disagreeable' tack and in the midst of Citizen McCain and the Republican minion machine's petty attacks (what's up with those tired 'Weather Underground' ads? Rev J-Wright must be just around the corner...)

Smooth couldn't have put it any plainer and from here on in I'd like to see a non-stop pilin' on of the failings of the last eight years, Citizen McCain's role in that and Citizen's plans for continuing that non-sensical ruckus. It seems like poetic justice that on the eve of the Republican Convention another monster hurricane is bearing down on poor New Orleans. Not for the good citizen of New Orleans who are, as I type, gettin' out of Dodge, but as a real-time highlight of one of the Bush Administration's biggest failures come back to haunt the Repubs like the Ghost of Christmas Past.

After that speech I'd say the table is set. If Smooth and Smokin' Joe blow this one...well that's a thought I won't even entertain for fear of jinxin' this whole deal. I say again...November can't get here fast enough, y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

The Real Bill Clinton Spotted At The Convention

Wassup, Y'all!

After months of milk carton face time, the real Bill Clinton, the guy ol Ty voted for...twice, the guy who shepherded eight years of democratic resurgence actually appeared - in person - at the Pepsi Center last night. I'm just as surprised as y'all since I had become so used to his doppelganger criss-crossin' the country doing a lot of Smooth-related snipin' and back bitin'. Now I understand that he was in the difficult position of being a former president *and* being the supportive spouse of a rival candidate, but in all cases (and in my opinion) once a former president, always a former president, which means that you always have to remain above the fray and remain 'presidential' - at least within your own party. For a large part of the democratic presidential campaign season, Mr. Bill adopted the 'attack dog' role normally reserved for your campaign insiders and vice presidential candidates and in so doing, tarnished his image, particularly among southsiders who were just looking for Smooth to get a fair shake....

Last night, Mr. Bill finally came through. His speech lit a fire under the delegates, transferred the mantle of the Democratic Party from the Clinton to Obama and set the stage for Smokin' Joe Biden's speech where he made like McGruff and took a bite of of Citizen McCain's a$$. Again, while I appreciate Mr. Bill's speech, like Sister Hillary's, I think they were too long in coming. They both have already given the republicans enough negative Smooth soundbites to last them through the fall election (and to bring up legitimate questions about the veracity of their new found love for Smooth) but at least they came through.

When it comes to Smokin' Joe Biden, I have to admit that even though I knew some of his backstory, seeing it all come together and hearing it from his son Beau was a pretty powerful moment. He's a good guy and a great pick for VP. He's proved he's already up for his attack dog role and seeing him go after Citizen McCain is probably going to be half the fun of the rest of the campaign season.

So Smooth is *finally* nominated as the Democratic presidential candidate and tonight he has the small matter of giving yet another speech for the ages (and doing it in the shadow of Martin Luther King's epic 'I Have A Dream Speech'). Seems like a ton of pressure but he definitely wasn't showing any stress last night as he took the stage with Smokin' Joe. He looked like he showing up for a dinner party - calm, cool, collected...Smooth. We'll see how well he brings that to the stage tonight. Should be good.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Hillary Clinton: The Closure Speech

Wassup, Y'all!

Though ol Ty contends that the speech Sister Hillary gave at the convention last night should have been the one she gave at the close of her campaign, I have to give her high marks for content, delivery, style and class. Ol girl hit all the right notes, said all the right things and then quickly exited stage center without taking a victory lap and without further stoking her supporters' passions by whispering into the mic, 'See y'all in four years'.

However, ol Ty does think that there was an opportunity missed last night now that the Republicans have decided on the strategy of using Sister Hillary's words and deeds as campaign material for Citizen McCain. They popped that tired, 'Passed Over' ad on pretty much right after her speech (I was checkin' it out on ABC, y'all). It would have been very simple to refute her words in the video and then note how now she's suddenly become the Republican Golden Girl after nearly two decades of being in their cross-hairs. A statement like that would have gone a long way toward exposin' their hypocrisy but then again, Sister Hillary's still a politician with her own ambitions.

One thing I do agree on based on the conversations after her speech. The bar is definitely raised for Smokin' Joe Biden and Smooth Barack. I'm pretty sure Smokin' Joe will deliver and Smooth? Well, ol boy earned the nickname 'Smooth', y'all and I'm confident that on Thursday night, he's going to deliver a speech for the ages - fitting for the historic moment that it will be.

Looking forward to it! Also looking forward to what Bill Clinton will be chattin' about tonight - hopefully he'll be stayin' on message as well and refraining from pullin' in any Jesse Jackson imagery...we'll see.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

'Chelle Obama: A South Side Girl

Wassup, Y'all!

Well - looks like 'Mission Accomplished' on Night One of the convention as 'Chelle came out all glam'ed up and charmin' - always effective countermeasures to charges of being a radical, fist-jabbing, terroristic, angry black woman. That title now moves to that other 'south side girl', Lisa Raye.

Seems to me that at this point, all of homegirl's 'rough edges' have been shown to be smoother than a lot of folks thought. 'Chelle was eloquent, calm under pressure and showed that she'd be an asset to the country as a First Lady. It's a shame that she won't be debating Cindy McCain - that'd be a debate to see. I'm also interested to see if Mrs. Citizen McCain plays an equally large role in the Republican convention next week so I can actually get to know her (since I can't read and don't have a TV or access to the Internet and know nothing about her except what I hear in passing on the street).

I find it funny that this far into the presidential campaign that commentators can still make a comment like, 'People are still trying to understand who the Obama's are'. Who are these people?? With all the information that's been available on them (at least the fair and balanced information), especially now - how can anyone with half a brain claim not to know anything about them unless you really don't want to and plan on using that as your reason for not voting for Smooth. That's pretty weak, in my opinion.

Anyway, one down, three to go! I'm lookin' forward to Sister Hillary bringin' down the house tonight and moving the focus to GW and the 'failed policies of the past'. That's always good TV, y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Obama / Biden: How'd Ty Get Left Off The Ticket?

Wassup, Y'all!

I have to admit - I didn't see it comin'. Smooth Barack's vettin' team had been going through ol Ty's background with a fine tooth comb. Everything came back clean (since all my business is done under my mama's name - Marvella Malone) and I was all set for the phone call that never came. Instead, I get a 2:23 am text message that coldly informs me that Delaware Senator Joe Biden has beat me out of a job. Dang. First Reggie Love, now Smokin' Joe Biden. Truthfully, my $1 was on Virginia Governor Tim Kain but my boyz kept tellin' me that Biden had the buzz. Apparently they were right.

So now we have Smooth / Smokin' '08. I (grudgingly) like the pick. Smokin' Joe is good people and a straight talker with a sterling foreign policy resume. I'm looking forward to a few of his upcoming sound bites on Citizen McCain and whoever his eventual running mate turns out to be. Still, I'm wondering about Smokin' Joe's basketball skills and whether he'll be able to ease into the Electric Slide line at the Inauguration? Those are a few of the 'soft skills' homeboy is going to need in order to mesh smoothly with a Smooth Administration - which still doesn't seem to be a foregone conclusion, y'all. It's lookin' like this one is gonna be nip and tuck to the wire. Dang. As if ol Ty needs that kind of drama unfolding over the next three months!

Anyway - on with the convention!!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Lisa Raye Loses her 'Muscle'

Wassup, Y'all!

The Diva over at 3 Black Chicks is always on the money. Never so much as last week when ol girl dropped the following comment on my 'Hurricane Lisa' post about Lisa Raye's T&C shenanigans:

"Wait until her half sister Da Brat rolls up in there. I'm surprised she ain't already in the mix. Brat ain't afraid to catch a case."

It wasn't two damn days later when news jumped that Da Brat - the 'Sonny Corelone' of the Lisa Raye family Chicago empire, got slapped with a three year bid for clockin' a waitress with a rum bottle at an ATL nightclub last year. Now that's hardcore, y'all. See those wannabe Brat buffys out there would be clockin' waitresses with Grey Goose vodka, Alize or White Zinfandel bottles but Da Brat? Straight Captain Morgan Original Spiced right across the jaw. If Lisa Raye had flown Brat down for the Mansion Bum Rush, those chicks would be ruling those islands by now.

Brat's so cold she doesn't even need a gat - just a couple bottles of Captain Morgan and her built in attitude, though a gun did come in handy back in 200o when she clocked a woman with one over an argument over some seats up in VIP. Somehow that ruckus never went to trial - likely due to a late night visit to the prosecutin' attorney with a bottle of Bacardi Gold. I'm just sayin', y'all. Good luck to whoever gets this chick for a cellmate. Something tells me that Brat won't be gettin' out early for good behavior...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Ty's Top 10 Things Happening Soon

Wassup, Y'all!

10) Barack Obama (Smooth Barack) will announce his VP
9) Citizen McCain (Emperor Palpatine) will announce his VP (hint: Rud..Mit...Darth Vader)
8) Both Mike Miss and Lisa Raye will have permanent teeth marks on their bodies
7) Another scam artist will approach Mike Vick with a jar of Vaseline
6) George Bush will vacation permanently in Crawford, Texas
5) Bernie Mac's family will file counter suits against his estate
4) Former SNL'er Chris Kattan will realize he'll never get another shot
3) After Bernie Mac's send off, Rev. Jesse Jackson will realize that his true calling is speaking at funerals
2) Reggie Love will realize that life's not so bad being Smooth's Jerome Benton
1) Michael Phelps' absent father will realize he loves his son after all

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Hurricane Lisa Threatens Turks & Caicos!

Wassup, Y'all!

That would be hurricane Lisa Raye, y'all - no relation to Faye, who's poised to spank Florida early this week. Apparently there's no less spanking going on in T&C as the Lisa Raye / T&C Premier Michael Misick (Mike Miss) mess has escalated into some straight Chicago southside matrimonial warfare. Clearly Mike Miss didn't have a clue about Chicago southside sisters when he got all captivated with Lisa Raye's womanly charms but make no mistake my wide eyed homeys - Chicago southside sister's don't play and if the recent 'Fracos at the Caicos' featurin' Lisa and Mike Miss literally throwin' down at the mansion isn't enough to clue you in, well then you better axe somebody...

When Ty last left these two lovebirds, Lisa was fumin' about her man getting publicly comfortable with BET 106 & Park VJ Rocsi. Now apparently Lisa Raye and her crew (her cousin and pubicist) rolled on the Premier's mansion like those boys at the end of 'Scarface' and got to regulatin' Chicago-style. According to the article 'the two reportedly came to blows in the mansion Wednesday night, resulting in both receiving emergency medical attention for bites'. My sources at the scene also report a hot grits scalding but that report has yet to be confirmed, y'all.

Sounds like some straight clownin' going on though. Mutual bites? Yeah - that's Chicago southside. That type of ruckus normally jumps off after a homegirl politely asks for 'all her $hit and half of yours' and then gets told equally politely to 'kiss my black a$$'. The funk in T&C is wafting all the way up here, y'all. Woooo.

Of course when you're the duly elected Premier of a soveriegn nation, you can't appear to behave like a 'wife beater' wearin' corner thug so Mike Miss had his people spin it like this: 'Last night Lisa Raye, her cousin Phillip Travis, and her publicist Lynn Jeter assaulted the guard at the Premier's home, proceeded to ransack the house, and then assaulted the Premier and his sister. As the result of her assault on them, both the Premier and his sister were taken to the hospital with injuries and later released. The Premier at no time had any physical contact with LisaRaye'

Yeah, that's Chicago southside all right - bust up in the mug, ransack it and then get medieval on any fool who asks 'what's goin' on?' Also the fact that this ruckus occurred in front of several government officials (aka 'company') is a clear indication that Chicago southside shenanigans were afoot, y'all. Word is that Lisa was on the island to work out the details of their divorce and it seems she might not get the half she was expectin'. In fact, ol girl was banned from staying at the official residence as well. That's just askin' for an a$$ whoopin', Mike Miss! Dude -get a clue.

Ol Ty had to laugh when the article ends with, 'On Wednesday night, Lisa Raye for some reason decided to confront Misick at his mansion, which resulted in the violent altercation'. Hmmm, now let me see...Chicago southside wife, indications that she might not get half, forced to stay at an island resort rather than the official residence *and* Mike Miss probably had Rocsi up in the crib wearin' one of Lisa's First Lady outfits. Stevie Wonder could have seen this comin'. I'm just surprised the brother managed to get a call off for an ambulance. Normally a Chicago crew's first move is to cut the phone lines outside. Mike Miss probably tipped them on his cell phone, probably soundin' like Tweety Bird when he gets chased by Sylvester, 'Heeeeelp! Heeeeelp!'. I said Chicago southside sisters were tough, y'all. Not technically savvy.

Anyway, I'm waiting for the official residence surveillance video tape to turn on up TMZ.com with some footage of Lisa Raye beatin' Mike Miss with his own shoe. That should be some funny stuff, y'all.

Thanks to Lady E. for the head's up on the recent actual factuals in T&C!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Olympic Village Idiots: Diddy & Chad

Wassup, Y'all!

So far, ol Ty has been a little bit more tuned into the Olympics than I was four years ago. I have to admit, say what you want about Communist China, but they know how to put together Olympic venues - that $143 million 'Water Cube' for the aquatic sports is just sick. The architecture is as you would expect - a blend of art and function. Also as you would expect, while most of the world's attention is focused on Beijing and the Olympic athletes, there always has to be a couple knuckleheads on this side of the world upset that they aren't getting the normal love (aka attention) they think they deserve. And, in their true monomaniacal styles, the only way they believe they can get anyone to listen to them over the Olympic sized noise jumpin' off in China is to spout some ridiculous nonsense. When it comes to Diddy and outspoken Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson, it's just another ordinary day in Me World...

Let me start with Diddy's silly a$$. When asked during his spring-summer 2009 Sean John presentation what event he thought he could win if there were a new (aka non sport based) Olympics, Diddy jumped right out there and said 'Who can have sex the longest'. I guess the official term for that event would be a sex marathon or something like that. Clearly Diddy's a legend in his own mind as he added a second event he was sure he could qualify for - 'who can stay up the longest'. You know he wasn't talkin' 'bout sleep deprivation, y'all, but in the new day of Viagra, Levitra, Cialis and glossys of Alicia Keyes, I bet even Morgan Freeman could race him to the tape on that one.

Then we get an even more outrageous assertion by Chad Johnson that he could 'beat Michael Phelps in the pool'. He dropped that jibber-jabber on ESPN's Pardon The Interruption (PTI) and that assertion is a little like me saying I could beat Michael Jordan on the court since I'm pretty good at HORSE. Accordin' to Chad he, 'was the three-time Charles Hadley Pool champ' back in the day in Miami. You just have to laugh at some straight foolishness like this. One thing you can say about Chad though, that brother will always keep you laughin'. I'm lookin' forward to his second career in comedy once he hangs up the cleats.

Man - why haven't we heard from T.O. yet!? I'm sure he could take out Tyson Gay in the 100 meter dash. That'll probably be breakin' news tomorrow, y'all. Stay tuned. In the mean time, bring on track and field!!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Limbaugh Pusher Beat by the Palm Beach Po Po?

Wassup, Y'all!

Sounds plausible to me. West Palm Beach? Check. Illegal quantities of Oxycontin? Check. Illegal Po Po beat down of a minority drug thief? Oh hey - wait a minute. That sounds like a regular day in any city in America. It certainly isn't the type of treatment that a fat cat drug abuser like Rush Limbaugh would receive. So what's the good news here? That overt surveillance continues to put mentally challenged members of the Po Po on blast for being abusive knuckleheads. This is good news because, despite the fact that bumbling Pablo Gilberto Valenzuela was due a lock up for his underhanded shenanigans, the West Palm Beach Po Po will now also be a bit more leery droppin' a nightstick on law abidin' citizens who either piss them off or 'fit the profile'...

Now a few of y'all may think that ol Ty is being a little tough on the West Palm Beach Po Po by callin' them 'mentally challenged'. Now I ask you, what else would you call an officer of the law who gets cold busted by the dashboard camera in their cruiser? If you ride around in a cruiser all day and *know* it has an operational dashboard camera, wouldn't you either 1) disable the camera, whoop some a$$, then reenable the camera or 2) move a suspect out of camera range, whoop some a$$ then move a suspect back into camera range or 3) refrain from any type of whoop a$$ at all until you get back to the station? Apparently, West Palm Beach doesn't require its prospective officers to take any type of IQ tests.

For his poorly thought out theivery, in addition to an upcoming jail bid on multiple charges, ol Pablo also got a broken jaw and bruised eyes from being kicked and punch about the face and head while in handcuffs. Crime clearly doesn't pay, but neither does being a mentally challenged Po Po officer.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Ty Reflects on Bernie Mac and Hot Buttered Soul

Wassup, Y'all!

Wow. That's all ol Ty can say in the wake of the news of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes passings this weekend. I've been a big fan of both these brothers (what self respectin' homey hasn't rocked the theme from Shaft in their hoopty at least one time while crusin' for honeys?) for the longest. I can still remember the Mac Man first poppin up on Def Comedy Jam talkin' 'bout, 'You don't understand. I ain't scared of you Mother F$%#ers.'

When you watched Def Comedy Jam you could tell pretty quickly who was gonna take off and who needed to head back to their mama's basement to polish up their act. Chris Tucker was one of the former (tho I submit he's squandered a lot of his promise) - Bernie Mac was another...

Now with homey's untimely passin', ol Ty is reminded of another funny a$$ southside comic who passed all too soon. Remember, Robin Harris, y'all? No one can hear the term 'BeBe's kids' without thinking of big Rob. Man, I miss that dude.

Oddly, it was just last Tuesday in the wake of the Morgan Freeman (Mor-Free) crash news, that I alluded to Mor-Free's latest move 'The Dark Knight' joining the list of 'cursed movies'. I guess that title now passes to 'Soul Men', a new comedy coming out in mid November starring, B-Mac, Samuel L. Jackson and Isaac Hayes. Wow. Two of three gone in two days... Since these things tend to go in threes ol Ty's thinkin' that Samuel L. needs to watch his step the next few days.

So let me drop in my late Rest In Peace thoughts for both B-Mac and Ike Hayes. Two originals that will be missed but who both left behind much to be remembered.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

The Frog Princess Redux

Wassup, Y'all!

Regular readers will remember that ol Ty had a couple words to say about Disney's plan to *finally* roll out an animated movie featuring a southside shorty as its main character. As ol Ty suspected, Disney's 'The Frog Princess' got called out for what many perceived was undercover racial stereotyping. To it's credit, Disney revamped the entire concept to come up with a kinder, gentler story, even going as far as to update the title from 'The Frog Princess' to 'The Princess and the Frog'. Ol Ty has to give it up to Disney for listening to and accepting such feedback, yet I still have to wonder what chance the film will have given their decision to render it via old school 2D animation vs. the much more mainstream 3D animation that kids now expect?

Check out the trailer to 'The Princess and the Frog' and then hold that up against Disney Pixar's recent movie 'Wall-E' or an upcoming movie like 'Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa'. I'm not feelin' the love but I guess you can't have everything. Once the movie drops, at least little biddy-bop southside shortys will have the ability to walk into a store and finally see a princess that looks like they do, they'll have the option to dress as her for Halloween and have their parents spend a bunch of money to have their rooms done in a Princess Tiana, old school New Orleans motif - that's good stuff.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Morgan Freeman: The Plot Thickens

Wassup, Y'all!

Yeah, I know y'all were thinkin' I'd be all over the Boy King Kwame Kilpatrick story with ol boy being ordered to spend a night in the slammer, but this Mor-Free thing is just a bit juicier *and* we know Boy King will be back in the slammer for a real bid before too long, so let's move on to the real show.

News broke yesterday that Mrs. Mor-Free, Myrna Colley-Lee, has dropped papers on homeboy after hearing that he'd been cheating on her with a 'close family friend'. Speculation is now running hot and heavy that the 'close family friend' is none other than Demaris Meyer, the 48 year old passenger who got jacked up in her raggedy '97 Maxima with Mor-Free when he rolled it.

Mor-Free's publicist is playin' it close yappin' that the paper dropping had been in the works waaaaaaaaay before the Sunday night accident, pointing out that the two had been separated since December '07. When I joked on Tuesday about some potential 'noddin'' goin' on just prior to the accident (and I ain't talkin' about being sleepy...), little did I know that events would transpire that make that supposition just a little more plausible. Still hard to do with the seat belts on but not impossible. I know a few of you out there have been creative like that.

I know as this news dribbles out in drips and drabs, that many of you are like, 'Mor-Free? Naw, he ain't got that in him. Did you see him in Shawshank or Driving Miss Daisy? He's a good guy!' And ol Ty isn't refutin' that. I will however say that if you're going to try and judge homey by his acting roles, I say go back to his breakout role - Fast Black, a hard hearted, cold blooded pimp in the movie 'Street Smart' - and then let me know what you think. Mor-Free put his foot in that role and, as with all actors, you have to wonder if what they connect to to get into these darker roles isn't also part of their DNA. Bottom line - actors are just people - Mor-Free included. And nothing has really come out to disavow his recollection of the facts. There just enough coming to light that's got more than a few people saying, 'hmmmmm....'

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Lisa Raye to Bring The Pain to T & C?

Wassup, Y'all!

That's my thinking if the latest rumors out of Ty's favorite hangout spot, Turks & Caicos, are true. At issue is a press release dropped by L-Raye's 'people' that says her man, T & C Premier Michael Misick was caught 'canoodling' during the T&C Music Festival with loudly irritating, BET 106 & Park VJ Rocsi while L-Raye was handlin' her business up in NYC. Now y'all know that ol Ty has a few thoughts on this silly ruckus. First and foremost, how the hell did I miss the T&C Music Festival??...

Okay, first as a disclaimer, since L-Raye is my Chicago homegirl ol Ty has to give her the benefit of the doubt. She has occupied a fond spot in my heart since her star turn as a troubled stripper in 'The Player's Club'. I originally went to support Ice Cube, Jamie Fox and Bernie 'Dolla Bill' Mac but L-Raye somehow caught my attention and we all know that she carried that movie, y'all....

Now let me microwave the backstory for on this for y'all. In 2006 L-Raye was a presenter at the Trumpet Awards, where T&C's Premier, the honorable Michael Misick, was gettin' a Humanitarian Award. Clearly he saw the same thing in L-Raye that ol Ty did when he watched 'The Player's Club' and he had his boy (ala Morris Day and Jerome Benton or elementary school) let her know that he was interested. In true player style, Mike Miss said he'd like to invite her to 'my' island. Not 'an' island, y'all. 'MY' island. Daaaaaamn! Not too many shortys are gonna say 'no' to that. But L-Raye did. Playin' hard to get like you shortys like to do ('cept for Rocsi...) and he finally sealed the deal in Jamaica where he met her again then flew her over to T&C for a little 'see - all this can be yours' talk.

L-Raye fell for it, the two got married and she became the First Lady of T&C even going as far as to be the centerpiece of the island chain's promotional 'Beautiful By Nature' ad campaign - one of which pictures the two in their white beach linens and boldly encourages folk to 'Indulge Your Passion For Romance on Turks & Caicos...We Did'.

Indeed. It seems that Mike Miss, who clearly studied his craft at the Boy King Kwame Kilpatrick Institute of Self Importance and Entitlement, took that message to heart as he was implicated in March in an unproved rape charge (which is still being investigated by the FBI). Now, if you can believe L-Raye's 'people', Mike Miss is gettin' into extracurriculars with Miss Raquel Roxanne Diaz aka Rocsi (who clearly can't spell either since that should be 'Roxie', but I digress...) BET's resident 'it' girl. Guess this means I won't be seeing L-Raye and Mike Miss's reality show 'The Premier and I' after all. Dang - I had my Tivo all cued up for that joint too!

That's a whole lot of drama goin on in T&C! I haven't even touched on the recent brawl in the airport waiting lounge between Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky and the family of former America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden, y'all. Punches got thrown, folk got arrested and Bianca's mama had to be airlifted to Miami for treatment from a beatdown over some damn saved seats! What's wrong with people? All I know is that all y'all need to quit before T&C becomes the next Aruba and ol Ty will need to seek another low key R&R spot! Knuckleheads already have it soundin' like the bus stop on 95 & Ashland. Shame, shame.

Anyway, L-Raye! If you need a shoulder to cry on...naw, I'm gonna leave that drama where it belongs - out in the street. L-Raye! Good luck, homegirl. For all you other shortys out there ready, willing and able to fall for that tired, 'Come visit my island line' I present to you this post for a bit of subdued cogitation. 'Nuff said.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Terrence Howard Knee-cappin' Cosby

Wassup, Y'all!

Yeah, I liked him in Hustle & Flow, main, but I gotta admit that this brother's film roles have been about as uneven as Whitney Houston's vocals. That's why I broke out my patented eye roll when I read about his recent attempt to throw Bill Cosby under the bus for 'attemptin' to blacklist him' way back in the day. When his 38 year old a$$ was 19. And he got cut from a part in 'The Cosby Show'. First - if your a$$ is still working 17 years later why even bring this nonsense up? Second, maybe you should blacklist yourself for agreeing to roles in Biker Boyz and Awake. You don't hear Cuba Gooding, Jr. cryin' for attention do you? No. He just takes on his whack roles and cashes his checks. Just like you need to do - leave Cos out of it. He can't bring you anymore publicity...

Of course, shortly after T-How's back alley knee-capping of Cosby in a World Entertain News Network interview, Cos himself jumped up and said T-How didn't know what he was talkin' 'bout, then, surprisingly, T-How came back out and said, 'That story that ran was incorrect. The advice [Cosby] gave me nearly 20 years ago was invaluable and still resonates with me today. I would never imply that he blackballed me, because it certainly was NOT the case.' Hmmm...sounds like a threat by Cosby to *really* blackball T-How's a$$ got him to go all soft. Course there really is the possibility of a misquote but...

The good news is that we can all look forward to additional whack T-How roles as (according to IMDB) all cousin has lined up into 2010 is 'Fighting', descibed as, 'A young ticket scalper is introduced to the world of underground street fighting' (woooo) and 'Factor X', described as, 'A young counterterrorism expert from Washington works with a Wichita police detective to solve the infamous case of the BTK serial killer who murdered people in Kansas from 1974-91 and was finally captured in 2005'. Woooo...hey wait. That one sounds pretty good. Someone must have accidentally passed him that script. Wonder if Cosby is producin' that joint??

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Morgan Freeman: Winkin', Blinkin' or Noddin'?

Wassup, Y'all!

The current installment of the Batman franchise, 'The Dark Knight' certainly isn't cursed at the box office but in the three weeks since its record shattering opening, two of its stars have been touched by misfortune. Batman himself, Christian Bale, had the media buzzin' with the he said/she said account of his mother and sister claimin that he dusted them up a bit. Truth be told, if all three of them had been southsiders Christian probably would have missed the European premiere as his mother and sister would have beat him within an inch of his life. He probably would have been the one callin' the Po Po. But ol Ty doesn't mean to make (much) light of that potentially serious situation, at least until the facts come out.

Now we get news that the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, Lucius Fox (I must have typed 'Luscious' five times here before I finally got it right, y'all...Luscious Fox...ha!) or, as he's better known, Morgan Freeman has been involved in a serious car accident. Add that to Heath Ledger's accidental overdose and that's enough to make a brother go hmmmmm.....

Any time there's a one car accident with a female passenger in the car three potential scenarios come to mind (at least mine, y'all). 1) Ol boy fell asleep. Since the accident occurred shortly before midnight and Mor-Free is 71 now this is a plausibility. 2) Drinking and driving. Since the accident occurred shortly before midnight and Mor-Free is a grown a$$ man driving along the sparsely populated roads of Tallahatchie County, Mississippi this is also a plausibility. 3) Distracting extracurricular (sometimes known as 'noddin''in southside circles...) occurring between Mor-Free and his female passenger while the vehicle was in motion. Since the accident occurred shortly before midnight along the sparsely populated roads of Tallahatchie County, Mississippi this is also a plausibility. But since the car flipped several times and both occupants were found wearin their seatbelts this claim seems fall under the category of 'irresponsible fake journalism'.

The good news is that Mor-Free (and his passenger) is expected to make a full recovery. So if any of y'all happen to be driving by the Regional Medical Center in Memphis, TN, stop in and tell that smooth hipster Easy Reader that Ty said to 'Get Well Soon'. Meanwhile, it seems that 'The Dark Knight' may move onto the fabled cursed movie list along with other such notables as 'Poltergeist', 'The Twilight Zone', 'The Crow' and old school 'A Rebel without a Cause'.

Boo, y'all

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

The Obama Difference: Organized & Drama Free

Wassup, Y'all!

You hear a lot from Smooth Barack about 'change' and 'turning the page' on Washington-style politics. In elections past, such claims would eventually be found false - just more smoke and mirrors trotted out by the candidate of the minute to get to the next rung in the political ladder.

Early on, there was really no reason to believe that Smooth was going to be any different. Yeah, ol boy talked different (imagine that - a political candidate that could actually spout inspiring oratory! For the fellas down at Winky's Corner Store that means 'a political candidate that's actually interesting to listen to...'). He certainly looked different but when it comes to politics, they've been cyclin' the same talkin' points since 1789 when ol George Washington rode into office with 100% of the Electoral College vote (probably won't see that this year, y'all...).

In previous posts, ol Ty has alluded to a couple things about Smooth's campaign conduct that has me believin' that this cat really plans to deliver on both change and turnin' the page. The first was his unrivaled success at puttin' together one of the most efficient campaign fund raising machines in the history of politics ($340 million to date) - from scratch. Second was his ability to pull together a campaign team that outmaneuvered and outfoxed old school political teams whose members pretty much came out of the womb analyzing polling numbers and framin' talkin' points. It's this latter point that the Washington Post recently noted as well in their Sunday column, 'Obama Central: Peace, Harmony and Deep Secrecy'. Thoughts after the jump...

Click on over to Opensecrets.org to get an idea of not only how Smooth manages his own campaing finances, but likely how a Smooth Barack administration would try to manage the nation's money. I say 'try' here since it's not all up to him. He would have to work with Congress on that and take into account pressing national needs like healthcare, Social Security, infrastructure repair, yada, yada, yada. But just look at homey's campaign balance sheet. Based on a July 29th snapshot, ol boy has raised $340 million dollars and has $71+ million cash on hand against a little more than $890 thousand in debt. And all this without accepting any general election taxpayer money. Say it with me, y'all - Daaaaaaaaaaamn.

Now the first thing that struck me about the Washington Post article was the fact that some Democratic Congressmen have '...privately expressed concerns that Obama has become too Chicago-centric, relying on his inner circle rather than a broader group that encourages input from Washington and elsewhere'. Hmmm...isn't that kinda the point? To drop kick 'Washington-style' and take it new school? If Smooth is willin' to ruffle even the feathers of those in his own party to implement his vision of change that should tell you a little somethin, somethin.

I also can appreciate the fact that his team is extremely loyal and not prone to leaking inside information for their own gain. You don't see that much inside Washington either where everyone seems to have a reporter or two on speed dial. Add in the fact that Smooth literally insists on a 'No Drama' policy that applies to every staffer, from the interns to his vaunted inner circle, and the fact that there is no power trippin' hierarchical seating at his Chicago campaign office and you get the picture that this guy really does have some very different talents to bring to the table.

If you've been following homey's rise to this point, you'll note what's common with these approaches is the 'grass root organizing' skills he's touted from jump street. That type of background engenders a number of efficiencies that are shining through, namely resource management (e.g. money, staffers, etc.), staff management and the ability to stay on point and maintain focus on the goal. It really is all about bottom up, y'all. The power is with the people and Ty for one is glad that there's at least one candidate out there that recognizes that fact. Now to ol Ty, that actually does sound like change you can believe in.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Oliver Stone's Movie 'W' on Ty's Radar

Wassup, Y'all!

Yep - I'm circlin' October 17 to head up to the back row at the OmniMegaplex with some Twizzlers and a Diet Coke to catch Oliver Stone's upcoming biopic on our much maligned 43 president George W. Bush (G-Dub). Why? Five words, y'all - Thandie Newton playin' Condoleeza Rice. Y'all know ol Ty's a big Thandie fan and when I caught ol girl in the 'W' trailer I had to do a double take as I almost didn't recognize her. On a less superficial level I also want to see Jeffrey Wright's take on Colin Powell. In ol Ty's estimation, J-Wright (the actor) is one of the most underrated actors out there...

This latest take on G-Dub is generating somewhat less buzz than Michael Moore's documentary smack-down Farenheit 9/11, but it looks like it's going to take you where that film didn't - back to G-Dub's roots as C-student, partyin' fool exploiting his parent's silver spoon and then gradually showing the inexplicable path he took from there to president of the United States (the poor results of which we're reading about and experiencing every day - consult the countdown clock in the right sidebar to see how much longer the pain will last, y'all...).

Apparently Josh Brolin (and who knew this guy would be such a good actor??), who plays G-Dub, is a method actor since he and J-Wright got into a well publicized brawl during filming in Shreveport, LA. There's a lot of he said/Po Po said wrapped up in that one (also a G-Dub administration staple) but I can appreciate a homey who stays true his craft. Anyway, I hope J-Bro puts in a few of those G-Dub word mangled malapropisms (y'all didn't think ol Ty knew that word did you??) that our not so accidental president is so famous for.

When it drops, I'm sure I'll leave the theater still unsure of how this guy got to be president - I know I didn't vote for him, but I'm also sure that for the large number of fools folks who did vote for him on nothing more than political affiliation that they'll be leaving the theater openly wondering how they could have voted for such a knucklehead to preside over the most powerful nation on earth. Based on that, you can be sure ol Ty will be outside the theater with some more Twizzlers and Diet Coke watching the show after the show too.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone