Monday, August 18, 2008

Hurricane Lisa Threatens Turks & Caicos!

Wassup, Y'all!

That would be hurricane Lisa Raye, y'all - no relation to Faye, who's poised to spank Florida early this week. Apparently there's no less spanking going on in T&C as the Lisa Raye / T&C Premier Michael Misick (Mike Miss) mess has escalated into some straight Chicago southside matrimonial warfare. Clearly Mike Miss didn't have a clue about Chicago southside sisters when he got all captivated with Lisa Raye's womanly charms but make no mistake my wide eyed homeys - Chicago southside sister's don't play and if the recent 'Fracos at the Caicos' featurin' Lisa and Mike Miss literally throwin' down at the mansion isn't enough to clue you in, well then you better axe somebody...

When Ty last left these two lovebirds, Lisa was fumin' about her man getting publicly comfortable with BET 106 & Park VJ Rocsi. Now apparently Lisa Raye and her crew (her cousin and pubicist) rolled on the Premier's mansion like those boys at the end of 'Scarface' and got to regulatin' Chicago-style. According to the article 'the two reportedly came to blows in the mansion Wednesday night, resulting in both receiving emergency medical attention for bites'. My sources at the scene also report a hot grits scalding but that report has yet to be confirmed, y'all.

Sounds like some straight clownin' going on though. Mutual bites? Yeah - that's Chicago southside. That type of ruckus normally jumps off after a homegirl politely asks for 'all her $hit and half of yours' and then gets told equally politely to 'kiss my black a$$'. The funk in T&C is wafting all the way up here, y'all. Woooo.

Of course when you're the duly elected Premier of a soveriegn nation, you can't appear to behave like a 'wife beater' wearin' corner thug so Mike Miss had his people spin it like this: 'Last night Lisa Raye, her cousin Phillip Travis, and her publicist Lynn Jeter assaulted the guard at the Premier's home, proceeded to ransack the house, and then assaulted the Premier and his sister. As the result of her assault on them, both the Premier and his sister were taken to the hospital with injuries and later released. The Premier at no time had any physical contact with LisaRaye'

Yeah, that's Chicago southside all right - bust up in the mug, ransack it and then get medieval on any fool who asks 'what's goin' on?' Also the fact that this ruckus occurred in front of several government officials (aka 'company') is a clear indication that Chicago southside shenanigans were afoot, y'all. Word is that Lisa was on the island to work out the details of their divorce and it seems she might not get the half she was expectin'. In fact, ol girl was banned from staying at the official residence as well. That's just askin' for an a$$ whoopin', Mike Miss! Dude -get a clue.

Ol Ty had to laugh when the article ends with, 'On Wednesday night, Lisa Raye for some reason decided to confront Misick at his mansion, which resulted in the violent altercation'. Hmmm, now let me see...Chicago southside wife, indications that she might not get half, forced to stay at an island resort rather than the official residence *and* Mike Miss probably had Rocsi up in the crib wearin' one of Lisa's First Lady outfits. Stevie Wonder could have seen this comin'. I'm just surprised the brother managed to get a call off for an ambulance. Normally a Chicago crew's first move is to cut the phone lines outside. Mike Miss probably tipped them on his cell phone, probably soundin' like Tweety Bird when he gets chased by Sylvester, 'Heeeeelp! Heeeeelp!'. I said Chicago southside sisters were tough, y'all. Not technically savvy.

Anyway, I'm waiting for the official residence surveillance video tape to turn on up with some footage of Lisa Raye beatin' Mike Miss with his own shoe. That should be some funny stuff, y'all.

Thanks to Lady E. for the head's up on the recent actual factuals in T&C!



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