Cuba, Oscar and No Damn Sense

Wassup, Y'all!

11 years. That's how long it's been since Cuba Gooding, Jr. won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his dead on portrayal of egotistical pro football player, Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire. The irony of that role was that the subject of Tidwell's catch phrase 'Show me money' is something strangely lacking from the box office receipts of the many movies Gooding has made since. That has ol Ty wondering, that after receiving critical praise for his role as Tre in 'Boyz 'N The Hood' and an OSCAR, how things could go so tragically wrong? Now the brother is filming Hanes underwear commercials with Michael Jordan (who?). What happened to this brother?...

Let me get the tragic facts out of the way first. Of the 23 films ol boy has made since then I can count on four fingers the ones that stood out (As Good As It Gets (good stuff), Instinct (borderline), Men of Honor (good stuff) and Radio (good stuff)). Mixed in there are some heinous joints like Rat Race, Boat Trip, Snow Dogs and his latest, Daddy Day Camp. I left out Norbit since that was really Eddie's hot mess - that was one turrrible movie (though Eddie's ease of doing multiple characters is always impressive...).

Anyway, I bring all this up in the hopes that Cuba's next role, that of 70's pimp Nicky Barnes in Denzel Washington's hotly anticipated American Gangster, which drops in November, is the one that FINALLY brings this brother back to the fold.

I've liked homeboy since his Tre Styles days and I'd like to see him get back some semblance of a respectable career. Granted the brother ain't no Don Cheadle or Denzel or Forest Whitaker or Chiwetel Ejiofor or Djimon Hounsou (don't hate on Djimon, y'all - 'Give us us free!') or ... but he is talented. The brother just needs to figure out a way to say 'hell to tha naw' to any old script that is looking for a southside fool. I know it's tough waiting on scripts to find their way through the fingers of all those previously mentioned brothers (not to mention Will Smith and Samuel L. Jackson) but come on - BOAT TRIP!

Cuba, be patient, brother. Let the game come to you - you have an Oscar baby. Try sticking close to those other brothers I mentioned- they'll pull you out of the wilderness.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Jena and 'The Duel' results

Wassup, Y'all!

Today's the big rally down in Dixie Jena, Louisiana which harkens back to the bygone days of the 60's. For the actual factuals of what actually precipitated this movement, check my August 29th post. The good, pre-rally news from Jena is that most of the charges against the six have been "...reduced to offenses such as aggravated battery" and the guilty conviction on second-degree battery charges slapped on the first Jena Six, defendant Mychal Bell has been thrown out by Louisiana's 3rd Circuit Court of Appeal saying that he had been "...improperly tried as an adult. Bell, now 17, remains in custody while prosecutors decide whether to file new charges against him in juvenile court." Hmmmm...that sounds like some good and bad news to me but you have to appreciate the power of public scrutiny...

Seems 50 Cent's album glossy is more than appropriate given that Kanye West's first week album sales crushed Fiddy's by more than 300,000 units. Now the watch is on to see if Fiddy makes good on his promise to retire from the game if his album didn't outsell Kanye's in the first week. How much you wanna bet that ol boy's gonna back out of that ill-advised statement? Me? I'd put about $0.50 on it...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Despite Fiddy, Chamillionaire shows the way

Wassup, Y'all!

I've been feelin' Chamillionaire's cut 'Hip Hop Police' off his new album 'Ulimate Victory' for a few now for a couple reasons: 1) That joint is creative and funny and 2) it reminds me of the good old days of hip hop when MCs would tell relevant or entertaining stories with their raps rather than just rapping about being a thug, disrespecting shortys and enjoying the spoils of fame and money. I've also been feelin' Chamillionaire because his latest album has been released without the seemingly obligatory explicit lyrics warning label - an intentional consequence from an artist who seems to finally get it despite receiving derisive feedback from one of his own...

When told of Chamillionaire's choice to release a profanity free album that also intentionally avoids the use of the N-Word, 50 Cent had this to say to Spin magazine back in July: "Let (Chamillionaire) go sell gospel records, if he's so (expletive) righteous."

Man, where to start with Fiddy? This is one arrogant brother who seems to thrive on startin' beefs and stirring controversy to keep his own azz on the musical radar. He's definitely learned the necessary arts of self promotion and product cross promotion but this is also a brother who never seems to mind pushing his fellow artist down to raise himself up and ultimately, that type of behavior is going to catch up with him. It's no wonder that fool got caught a few caps to the body back in the day and it's probably the reason he wears that whack bullet proof vest at his concerts. All it takes is one, y'all.

So it comes as no surprise that Fiddy is back out there and apparently on the brink of 'retirement' due his recent boast that if his new album 'Curtis' doesn't outsell Kanye's West's new album, 'Graduation Day', in the first week he will retire from the game. As of Friday, Billboard "...reported Friday that Graduation leads with 781,000 copies sold over the 603,000 moved by 50 Cent's Curtis, according to projections."

The finish line is this Wednesday and I have to admit that some parts of Ol Ty are wishing that this recent Fiddy boast was more than just another promotion gimmick...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

You know you're old when...

Wassup, Y'all!
My boy DLT recently made a side comment trying to make ol Ty think that he was gettin' old. To that end, ol boy pretty much succeeded when he told me that (still) foine (tho still weird) shorty Lisa Bonet's *18 year old* daughter, Zoe Kravitz , is featured in this month's GQ magazine. For those of y'all who actually paid attention during the Genetics module in science class you'll agree that Zoe sure can't deny that Lisa and rocker Lenny Kravitz are her parental units. All I can say is 'HOLD UP! Lisa's got an 18 year old daughter!' Man, I guess time is passin me by in the basement...

So naturally that got ol Ty to wonderin' about what else has passed him by while he was looking the other way? Hmmmm...how 'bout the fact that

- Mama Lisa Bonet will turn 40 this year (old girl was 17 when debut on The Cosby Show)

- Little Rudy Huxtable (Keisha Knight Pulliam) is 28!! Man, Luda wasn't lying about being 'all grown up just like Rudy Huuuuxtable...

- Phylicia Rashad (daaamn Phylicia!) is a stone's throw from 60! I see she's doin' that slow aging like Lena Horne...

- Raven Simone? Lisa Bonet's step daughter on the Cosby Show? Ol girl will be 22 in December!

Daaaang - I guess it's time to change the carpet and reupholster the furniture in the basement. Yo DLT! Thanks for nothing, homey!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Ty called out on the Jena Six

Wassup, Y'all!

That's right - old Ty was straight called out by ESPN's Jemele Hill for hanging with the fashionable people by doin' all this Mike Vick yapping while, once again, ignoring the big picture. Okay, okay - maybe ol girl didn't call me out directly in her recent article about all the misplaced focus on Mike Vick, but it sure did feel like it. So I'm here to set the record straight and focus attention where it belongs - on the parish seat of Louisiana's La Salla Parish - Jena, home to some very dark ruckus. So dark in fact, it's almost like Jena (pronounced 'Gina') jacked H.G. Wells' time machine and returned to the Jim Crow, Land of Cotton, Dixieland days - days it seems that good ol Jena never left...

Apparently while everybody (including ol Ty) was obsessing over Mike Vick and Lindsay Lohan's lack of driving skillz and Britney Spears lack of panties, the town of Jena was undergoing some racial strife not seen since the Malcom and Martin days. This ruckus got tipped off by southside high school students asking permission to sit under a shade tree on campus that presumably was reserved for northside students. The following day, three nooses (in the school colors), were found hanging from the tree. For some reason, the Jena northside high schoolers failed to realize the significance of such a thing and things (not surprisingly) escalated.

Fights broke out, a shotgun was pulled in gas station convenience store and finally a southside on northside brawl ended with six young southsiders (unfairly) up on charges of attempted murder - despite the fact that the northside beaten was treated and released the same day. The first defendant, Michael Bell "was found guilty by an all-white jury, and will face the possibility of up to 22 years in prison when he is sentenced. The sentencing was originally scheduled for July 30, but has been delayed until September 20, 2007. However, the case is currently in dispute, as the court-appointed public defender did not call a single witness in his attempt to defend Bell."

Hmmm...anybody else smell a rat? Decide for yourselves on this one - don't let me influence you. You can catch a short synopsis of the ruckus on Youtube and a more in-depth look at Jena and its racial dysfunction in this BBC documentary. It's some deep stuff, y'all.

Jemele! My bad, homegirl. Lesson learned. Jena, LA! W-T-F!? Get your damn act together. And for all my homeys from every side who think things are so much different now than in the sixties - maybe on the surface they are - but I know one thing - there are still places in the country where ol Ty can hop out of his hoopty with a grin on his grill and end up gettin' got for no other reason than for being from the southside. How damn sad is that?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Vick about to run the longest yard

Wassup, Y'all!

That would be the yard in the big house as the last shoe finally fell in this sorry a$$ dog fighting saga. As I first pointed out with his sorry cousin Davon Boddie in my July 23rd post, clearly Vick surrounded himself with a very sorry crew. Every last one of his boyz couldn't cop a plea fast enough despite the hook ups that came their way over the years courtesy of Vick, their human meal ticket....

It was obvious that Vick thought his crew had his back. How else can you explain pre guilty plea quotes from Vick like:

"I look forward to clearing my good name" (which was never very good from jump thanks to his knucklehead brother Marcus...)

"It's unfortunate I have to take the heat," [Vick] said. "If I'm not there, I don't know what's going on. It's a call for me to really tighten down on who I'm trying to take care of. When it all boils down, people will try to take advantage of you and leave you out to dry. Lesson learned for me."

Lesson learned indeed. One to be played out shortly in federal prison (home of Tossed Salad Man - careful, y'all! That's a R-rated link since it's a video of the *real* Tossed Salad Man - grown folks only and *no* office viewing with your speakers on MAX...), one which could result in the premature death of his NFL career (odds are the earliest he might see the field again is 2009) and one which has already has resulted in the loss of his tall endorsement chedda.

That his boyz cut deals and agreed to testify against him faster than a speeding bullet really isn't surprising given they were leeching busters to begin with. That Michael Vick actually thought they'd fall on their swords for him, well that was just plain stupid. That Michael Vick actually willingly killed dogs in some seriously heinous ways, well that's what night time visits from the Tossed Salad Man are for. If a brother ever needed superlative scrambling skillz, it will damn sure be at lights out in the federal pen....

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

The Playmaker scores one last TD...

Wassup, Y'all!

Despite livin' in Chi-town, vistors to the basement here in the Malone Zone will find no bigger Philadelphia Eagles fan. Philly was where ol Ty was first raised to the heavens like little Kunta Kinte and told to behold the only thing greater than himself. Yeah - I know that's dramatic but it's the real deal so as you can imagine, I never (to this day) had a bit of love for any player associated with the New York Giants, Washington Redskins, and damn sure not the Dallas Cowboys. So I've watched Michael Irvin trials and tribulations with strippers and weed and coke and what not with a knowing smile. I appreciated homeboy's 'say whatever's on your mind' commentary style - but I more so appreciated when he fell off track - a sign of a true hater. So as he approached his Hall of Fame enshrinement I was waiting to pounce on his induction speech and do some more crackin' on his a$$ right up to the moment he actually gave that speech for the ages...

I didn't catch it live (naturally) but once the whispering got started minutes after his speech was complete, I knew I was mishearing things. More than one sports analyst in the know referred to the speech as one of the best ever heard at Canton - right behind Terrie Bradshaw's. I'm all like - hmmm, Playmaker must have brought a couple Hooters girls out with him for visuals. Then I went to the video and I've been trying to get my foot out of my mouth since.

What I saw was a thoughtful, eloquent, humble, apologetic man who fully realized and acknowledged his faults and who also realized the singular honor it is to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Damn - it wasn't supposed to be like this! Don't take my word for it, y'all. Go to the video and see for yourselves. It'll take about 15-20 minutes of your time (if you fast forward past Jerry Jones' intro...all except the part about Philly being the last team to smack Michael's a$$ down during the last game of his career, but I digress...), but check it all out - you won't regret it.

Dang Playmaker. I see your final act was to shut my a$$ up. Well played, homey. Well played.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

WTF, Newark? W-T-F!

Wassup, Y'all!

*** Update ***
Oh snap! Two suspects have been arrested - one had his lawyer arrange his surrender directly to Newark's mayor, Cory Booker. The twist to this saga is that one suspect is a westsider so the southside/westside tension in Newark could get hot....
***

Ol Ty's hot on this one - HOT! I was going to drop a post on that Chicago Niketown ruckus - still will - but when I caught this article today, I literally had to take a moment to myself. What happened this weekend in Newark is just straight foul - no way to sugarcoat it. For those who haven't yet heard the actual factuals - on the night of August 4th, four young, southside college students - Terrance Aeriel, 18, his sister Natasha Aeriel, 19, Dashon Harvey, 20 and Lofemi Hightower, 20 (that's Lofemi and Terrance in the glossy ol girl is holdin') were chilling on a playground, listening to music when they apparently became the victims of a robbery. A robbery which ended with all four being forced to kneel against a wall and each getting shot in the head. Only Natasha survived....

They need to find the fools who did this and quick. Ruckus this foul should be on everybody's radar - particularly in the southside nation. I know it's early, but on the face of it there seems to be more to this than just jacking some of your own for their gear. I'm thinking that there's a liberal dose of that whack a$$ 'crabs in a barrel' mentality mixed in here too - a seriously dead weight that's been pulling the southside nation down since we landed. The hip-hoppers coined a new age term for it - hatin' - but the concept is far from new. It's as old as we are and clearly out of control in Newark. It's been a deadly cocktail for the longest - mix knuckleheads who don't have anything going for themselves with promising brothers and sisters that do.

For you Chicago faithful, you'll no doubt recall one of our ultimate 'crabs in a barrel' moments back in November of '84. Remember Big Time Ben Wilson from Simeon (that's brother Benjy from his 1984 High School State Champ glossy - back row, third from the left)? Holler back, 'Tini!

That young brother was LeBron and Kobe and KG before those brothers ever hit the block. He was the consensus #1 high school player in the nation right up until he accidentally bumped a couple small time gangbangers and got capped for the 'slight'.

Wake the hell up, y'all! This type of ruckus has GOT to stop.

**** Peace@Least, ****
Tyrone

P.S. WTF = What The Fu#k. Y'all know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Newark...

Kells *finally* headed to court!

Wassup, Y'all!

Daaaang! It only took five years. Man - even OJ got it over with faster than that. Yes, y'all, word has reached me here in the basement via Channel 7 news that a court date has finally been set for R. Kelly's Pee-Gate trial. Ol boy got indicted on 21 counts (later reduced to 14 counts related to child pornography) back in June 2002!...

Whatever happened to the right to a 'speedy' trial? Seems Kells must have had his legal mouthpiece drop every wrench he had into the legal machinery to bog things down, but finally after five years, five best selling albums and three tours, the end is near and we're gonna get to see how much of flirt Kells really is since he's looking at a max bid of 15 years if convicted. You see - in prison it really doesn't help to be black, handsome, rich or know how to sing - but then again he is a flirt...

Man I better get mama to clear those late charges off the cable bill, cuz Ol Ty gonna be glued to Court TV for this one, y'all!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Pardon Isley? Hell-To-Tha-Nizzo!

Wassup, Y'all!

Let me be the first to jump off this damn bandwagon before it gets started. Now Ol Ty's out kicking it in Philly when word reaches him in the hoopty that Southside DJ's and Ronnie Isely fans are petitioning President Bush to give Ronnie Isley some Scooter Libby love by pardoning his conviction on flagrant a$$ tax evasion. Who's next? Wesley? R. Kelly? I'll admit - I've never been a big Ronnie Isley fan but even if I was, I have to think that there are much more deserving southsiders either in or heading to prison to save this high caliber silver bullet for...

Now if y'all run through the actual factuals of Mr. Biggs conviction, you have to admit that ol boy was doing some Olympic level tax dodging. Ol Ty ain't got much love for the tax man either but I have faithfully paid my fair share and I'm not feeling much love for a brother who was given so much and willingly chose to get big time greedy and not break a taste off for Uncle Sam. When I send my check to Gangster Sam, I just imagine it's going straight to my mama's social security check to take the sting out of it - so on the other side of the ledger I see Mr. Biggs chippin' off mama's check to keep up his livin' large lifestyle and I'm damn sure not feeling that, y'all.

Yeah I know about Mr. Biggs being a 'cornerstone of the R&B community' and ill with cancer (there are plenty of law abiding folks who won't be getting a pardon for that either...) and all the rest. Still, I can't help but think that if you're going to holler back to G-Dub and ask him to rain down some Scooter Libby Commutation Love on a southsider, first - we know it will never happen, and second, if by some miracle it did happen, wouldn't you feel better knowing that that miracle happened for a heinously bogus case like Genarlow Wilson's?

Y'all have to be feelin' me on that one. Come on now! We need to make our stand on some higher ground than Mr. Damn Biggs...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone