Monday, July 23, 2007

With Kinfolk Like Davon Boddie...

Wassup, Y'all!

Admit it fellas. Look through your relations and without a doubt you'll always find at least one Davon Boddie. The knucklehead, the Bad Luck Schleprock, the weakest link, the brother always moochin your Lime Chips or your Trident sugarless, or your new Oldspice Ahoy cologne or... For the uninitiated let me introduce you to Mike Vick's cousin Davon...

As family is known to do, Mike Vick did the loyal thing and put his cousin up in his Virginia crib - the one he was 'rarely' at, the one that somehow morphed into the center of a dog fighting enterprise. I say 'somehow' though I have to speculate that that knucklehead Davon at least had a finger in that stupid a$$ idea as well (tho surprisingly he's not up on any related charges). Anyway, Mike Vick puts his cousin Davon into plush digs. You know he wasn't asking for any rent or grocery money so Davon, who I have to speculate likely has nothing to fall back on except the kindness of his friends and family, is living large off his Golden Goose. For those of you who check out Entourage - Davon would be Turtle. The dude who runs odd jobs for his Golden Goose - Vinny Chase the A-list movie star - and spends his 'down time' gettin' high, playin' video games and knockin' boots with shortys willing to sleep with someone who knows someone famous. Shoot - life don't get much better than that, y'all.

So flash forward to April 20th when knucklehead Davon is cold chillin' on the block in Hampton, doin' his thing - talkin' smack to the honeys, promisin' them meetings with his boy and sparkin' up one of the fat doobies in his pocket when the Po-Po rolls up on him and tags him for drug possession. So far so good.

Now under questioning about where he lives, knucklehead Davon gives his real address - Mike Vick's crib in Surry County, VA. The crib that he knows has been running an illegal dogfighting enterprise, the crib that is housing beaucoup dogs in various states of jacked-up-ness, the house that sits on property that was used to bury dogs killed for not making the cut, the crib with enough dog fighting paraphernalia around to make Stevie Wonder suspicious. As they're sometimes known to do, the Po-Po follows up by paying a visit to the house to see if there any other drugs are up in Davon's room and lo and behold, what do they find? Enough dogfighting evidence to bring a federal indictment against his Golden Goose, Mike Vick.

I'm not sayin' Mike Vick didn't make his own bed if the allegation prove true - that's not my point. My point is that the loss of his reputation, endorsement deals (old boy had his mug on the cover of Madden 2004 for cryin' out loud - guess that jinx is still in full effect!), possibly his starting job as a quarterback in the NFL and most importantly his freedom to not have to share a cell with the Tossed Salad Man all hinged on a cousin who didn't have the good sense of a six year old on crack. Maa fact - comparing knucklehead Davon to six-year old crack addicts is givin' those biddy-boppers a bad name. See? Now y'all are getting the point that it pays to pick your friends wisely (same goes for family once you're old enough to make a choice...).

The good news for the dog fight fans who are bummed that Bad Newz Kennels won't be puttin' on any more main events is that there is a chance for them to see one last fight. That would be the one between Mike Vick and Knucklehead Davon when those two get back together. Man, I hope they put that bad boy on Pay-Per-View...



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