Ty's Top 10 Web Videos

Wassup, Y'all!

It's Monday and those of you not livin' in your mama's basement and doin' the 9-5 thing probably need a bit of laughter to get your day going straight so I thought I'd throw together a quick Top 10 list for y'all featuring some recent (and some not so recent) web videos that *always* crack me up so. I know that there's a ton of good stuff out there on the web, but these are the joints that speak to ol Ty at the moment. Hit me off after the jump and get ready to get your laugh on (note: NSFW = Not Safe For Work!)...

1. Star Trek Cribs - The Director's Cut - a classic featurin' my main man Charlie Murphy as the voice of Spock, who's showin' off his crib to the cameras. Bring the power, Scottie!
2. I'm On a Boat - viral a billion times over on Youtube but this nautical themed, SNL joint is always funny, 'specially since I'm known to sit out in mama's garden from time to time in my flippy-floppies. NSFW - lyrics like an old Richard Pryor joint!
3. Dick in A Box - the SNL bookend to I'm on A Boat - featuring Justin Timberlake and SNL homey Andy Samberg offerin' their shortys a 'personal' gift. NSFW
4. Auto-tune The News #2 - a clever use of the auto-tuning effect (T-Pain) to make the news even more viewable than Jon Stewart's Daily Show.
5. Blame It - Youtube's Obama impersonator-in-chief AlphaCat breaks down exactly why you're feelin' the economic blues.
6. Tea Partay - straight outta Cape Cod, the Prepstas are keepin' it real! One of many 'nerdsta' video raps that show just how pervasive the rap culture is in advertising and in the northside world. Smirnoff knew the deal and dropped this one to great effect.
7. All About the Roosevelts - Taco Bell took a page right out of Smirnoff's book and dropped this one for the cheap a$$, late night snack crowd who could only manage to scrap together some nickels and dimes at 2am but still wanted to get their grub on.
8. Whatever I Like - Alphacat's Obama is back breakin' down just what he can do now that he's President.
9. Jizz in My Pants - the SNL crew is back, this time with a couple homeys on a hair trigger. Man, just like back in grade school...for some of y'all.
10. Puke in My Mouth - no list would be complete without the female comeback video. In this case, the shortys came back hard on the Jizz in My Pants concept with their thoughts on how hard it is to keep you lunch down in the presence of some wannabe romeo homeys.

Now if *none* of those videos made you laugh you really need to think about another line of work or head to Cali to catch that medical mary jane wave so you can loosen that tight a$$ up. Stay strong out there, y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Skip Gates Is A Friend of Mine

Wassup, Y'all!

Man, you know this is a big story when it comes up as a question during a Presidential news conference.

If I was the officer who ultimately arrested Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates in his own home after producing adequate ID proving it was actually his own home and then I had to hear it discussed by the President of the United States, I'd have to be callin' in today with a bad case of the 'Blue Flu'...

I have this to say about that, y'all - Amadou Diallo and Sean Bell. I'm sure everyone will make a little hay with Smooth Barack's comment about had he been caught tryin' to break into the White House that he'd have been shot. Now that statement can be taken a couple of ways but the one I think Smooth was tryin' to eloquate was that the Secret Service don't play when it comes to White House security. Unfortunately, Amadou, a 23 year old Guinean immigrant in NYC and Sean Bell, a 23 year old southsider from NYC both were shot (and killed). 41 and 50 times respectively. Both by officers who were eventually aquitted of the crime despite both being unarmed at the time of their Sonny Corleone style demises.

Skip Gates is lucky that all that woofin' just got him a dropped disorderly conduct charge and a $40 bail postin'. He could still be wedged up in his doorway leakin' from 40+ gunshot wounds after gettin' laid the f*** out. Harvard Professor or no Harvard Professor. Black may not crack but it punctures pretty easily from hot lead. Instead of Smooth Barack saying that 'Skip Gates is a friend of mine' he could have been up there sayin', 'Skip Gates was a good friend of mine'.

We've come a long way, y'all but we have by no means arrived. If ol Ty gets pulled over down here in NC, you can best believe my hands won't leave the steering wheel until requested to do so. No premature wallet reach for ol Ty, y'all. I've seen this play before. So Skip - I'm glad it all worked out for you, homey. Truly I am. But if even Smooth can admit he might get dropped tryin' to get into the White House on a dark night, what makes you think a Harvard professorship will keep you safe from a similar situation?

Nuff said on that.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

North Carolina, Go on Raise Up

Wassup, Y'all!

If you can't tell by now, ol Ty has been going through A LOT of changes over the past few months. Changes that have seen the passing of Cool Papa Malone, a move by Mama and me to North Carolina (no more Windy, y'all!) and finally the burial of Cool Papa a little less than a week ago at Arlington National Cemetery. That's right, y'all - Malone's have been faithfully serving the nation for three generations now.

The Arlington thing was pretty overwhelming but a well deserved ceremony of naval pomp and circumstance that I know Pop was lovin' from his plush skybox seat.

The North Carolina thing has been workin' for a brother, y'all though I'm missin' my homeys from Winky's Corner Store (DLT! I got you homes - sorry I missed the call. I'll get at you tomorrow!).

I'm likin' the feel and the fact that most of my NC homeys seem to be transplants from other spots just like Mama and me. I've got my new basement pad pretty much fleshed out - Wi-Fi's hooked, flat screen and Slingboxes connected and the PS3 locked and loaded so now it's time to get back down to business.

The Urban Eye's back open starting Thursday, y'all so be sure to check back!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone