Monday, July 31, 2006

Monday Crackbacks - 07/31/06

Wassup, Y'all!

I've got more than a few lined up for y'all this week so if you're looking for a little distraction to start the bogus work week, peep no further than right here to see what haps have caught my interest over the last week. Included in this week's crackbacks include inside word on the next President to be featured in the upcoming season of 24 *and* why Vanessa Williams remains on basement radar...

Mo'Nique is still salty about her boot off a United Airlines flight while on her way to NYC to shoot a taping of 'The View'. Ol girl has gone all Jay-Z and is trying to stir up a southside boycott of the airline. In the basement, I'm hearing she's redirecting all United airline calls to 1-800-KISS-MY-BLACK-A$$...

Apologies to Christy Brinkley (my bad, homegirl) as her soon-to-be-ex husband reveals that he's a ho...

According to E!Online, the next President on 24 will be a familar face - one more than ready to replace outgoing weasel President Logan. Rumor is that they're trying to keep it all in the family...

How the rich get richer. Word has reached the basement that despite the fact that Beyonce and Jay-Z have about a billion between them, the design house started by B and Mama Tina is skimping on their payments. Word is that the House of Devon is the new House of Late Payments... And while I'm cracking back on B and Mama Tina, let me be the first to publically go on record by stating that the apple really does fall faaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr from the tree...

It's good to see my boy Dule Hill leaving the White House behind and bringing the noise in his new series 'Psych'. I always liked that brother...

Oh snap! Rumor is that Julia (Diahann Carroll) is bringing her nurse cap to Grey's Anatomy next season!! Okay, she probably won't be playing a nurse, but you can't blame a homey for having those biddy-bop flashbacks of the good ol day's when hospital nurses actually wore hot uniforms (yes, home skillets - there actually was a time when homeboys actually wanted to get sick or fly commercial...). Y'all know Diahann was wearing hers better than most...

Hold up! When did Shaq pull together a roast for Emmitt Smith? Where was my invite?? Jamie Foxx hosted this bad boy and it featured a couple moments that cracked me up. One was a graphic illustration of what happens when an unknown comic tries to crack on well known comics in attendance. The second one featured a northside comic living on borrowed time as he did some hard cracking on the southside nation (and lived to tell about it). Got to give it up to old boy - he had a LOT of heart to drop THAT routine in mixed company (Note: work alert!! Blue language ahead - suggest headphones or quiet office viewing...)

Break out the Cristal Krug - Steve Nash can *finally* stop doing that annoying two handed hair ear tuck thing!

Man - forget Israel and Lebanon - what's up with TO and Donovan yakking it up like a couple girls on the playground??

Just a last word on soccer (which still can't list me as a fan). Seems
the World Cup world-wide ratings numbers make the Superbowl ratings look similar to those for 'Girlfriends'...

Looks like my girl Vanessa L. Williams has found her way back to TV since the crash and burn of her previous series South Beach. 'Nessa will be in the new ABC series 'Ugly Betty' coming this fall. I'm betting she's not cast as Betty....

Finally - why is it some people can't take a joke? Just because it involves a thick link chain and a hand held circular saw doesn't mean it's not funny! Dang, ease up, homegirl!

Now get to work, y'all - especially you homeys at ExxonMobile. That next $10 billion isn't going to make itself this quarter!



Sunday, July 30, 2006

Miami (Vice) Mumbling

Wassup, Y'all!

Went to check out Miami Vice at the neighborhood premium theater (a joint that serves food and drink in the theater during the show) and I was a little nervous that all that eating and drinking would drown out the dialogue and make the movie hard to follow. Imagine old Ty's surprise as the movie's sketchy plot and mumbling actors handled that all by themselves. Don't get it twisted, there's a lot to like about this movie but plan on spending the first part doing some serious lip reading and head scratching...

If you are old school Miami Vice watchers, you'll know how chilly Lt. Castillo (Edward James Olmos) would talk in the low, gravelly, minimalist fashion when he was on the scene with Crockett and Tubbs and half the time you'd have to pull your chair right up next to the TV to understand what the hell old boy was saying. The first forty minutes of the new Vice were kinda like that but once that joint got rolling, it got rolling, y'all.

Director Michael Mann dropped in all his signature touches - grainy film technique, moody backdrops, hot a$$ cars, boats and airplanes and, of course, insane fire fights with some serious military hardware a la Heat.

Mann also came correct with the movie casting - almost. I was digging both Naomi Harris and Elizabeth Rodriguez as Detectives Trudy Joplin and Gina Calabrese respectively. Both those chicks handled their business - especially Rodriguez and now you can catch Naomi in *two* flicks out now - Miami Vice and Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest. Both roles are relatively small, but old girl's definitely got the chops. If you don't believe me, check out her early work in the sci-fi, horror flick 28 Days Later.

On the homeboy side of the ledger, I wasn't quite buying Jamie Foxx as smooth a$$ Rico Tubbs. He seemed more like Jamie Foxx trying to be cool. Colin Farrell as Sonny Crockett on the other hand, nailed it (of course old boy got more screen time to nail it but Miami Vice has always been Crockett's vehicle with Tubbs just along for the ride - nothing new here). NS Shorty weighed in with two thumbs up for Farrell as well after apparently being taken in by homeboy's 'hair, 5 o'clock shadow and tight salsa moves on the dance floor. Hmmm, my a$$ missed all that - clearly we were watching different movies.

I did, however, like Gong Li's (Memoirs of a Geisha) role as the drug lord's counsel and money manager. That was some unconvential casting that worked (though sometimes you have to work through her accent). You have to like it in a shorty who's in Miami but suggests going to Havana, Cuba to get a drink.

All in all, old Ty's giving up 2.5 Spinners for Miami Vice (I know - other reviewers were cracking on this joint but it's all in the eye of the beholder, y'all). It could have been better but it was an entertaining (and bloody) night out at the movies. I also like the fact that Mann left enough loose threads to warrant a sequel if there's demand for one. As Jay-Z asked when they were jamming his Linkin Park collabo 'Numb' in Vice's opening club scene - "Do you want an encore, do you want more?" All in all, I'd have to say 'yep-yep'.



Thursday, July 27, 2006

Mo'Nique's Hairy Situation(s)

Wassup, Y'all!

Man, after a well deserved on-air mugging of Star Jones after old girl tried to grandstand her way off of the 'The View' word now filters down to the basement that Ba-Ba Wa-Wa
Barbara Walters was cold trippin' on my girl Mo'Nique who recently did a guest host stint while the show's producers comb the country for someone who can fill Star's big a$$ vacant seat...

Defamer dropped a post actually highlighting *two* Mo'Nique moments - one that begins as Mo tries to get to 'The View' and ends up getting put off the flight due to some ruckus caused by one of her entourage members and a power trippin' flight attendant. Could be a case of FWB (Flying While Black) but with the recent airline dust-ups involving celebs I'll adopt a wait-and-see attitude on this one. Have to give it up to *any* flight attendant that's going to get mouthy with Mo though cuz you can just see old girl winding up for one of those 'slap-the-taste-out-your-mouth' southside shorty slaps.

But the fun really starts once Mo *gets* to 'The View' and begins some jibber-jabber with Ba-Ba. Defamer dropped a tight clip that highlights an exchange between the two which focused on Mo's body hair. Yes, y'all - that's still a picture I'm trying to get out of my head. Old Ty doesn't really go for that 'European look' and just imagining that look on big Mo gives me that type of shiver you get after you take a long hit of Mad Dog 20/20! Y'all remember that kind of shiver - don't front. Shortys remember - the razor is your friend. Don't get caught up in that bogus Mo 'Nique reasoning for going without!!




Monday, July 24, 2006

Monday Crackbacks - 07-24-06

Wassup, Y'all!

Dang - how many times is Tiger going to make a grown man cry? Old boy had me misting up when he won his first major and had his tournament ending hug with 'Pops' at Augusta. Now here he is sealing the deal at the British Open and hugging it out with his caddie and wife because this was the first one without 'Pops'. Got to give it up for Tigro though - he's pretty good...

I'm happy to report the westside did indeed represent at the Miss Universe pageant as Miss Puerto Rico beat out my eastside girl Miss Japan (who I had my chips on). Not sure what happened to Miss Finland...

According to C&D, Serena is on the comeback trail. Not sure what prompted her to leave the club scene and return to the racket scene but I'm not complaining...

Kobe won't play for Team USA after 'knee surgery'. So? I think he's still laying low, still working that Raj Bell neck yolk off...

Eminem must have been watching Luda's 'Get Back' video as it seems he recently got medival on some homey in a strip club washroom near 8 mile road - cousin probably tried to pass him a demo while he was draining the dragon... Turns out the next day, the beatee suddenly drops the charges. No mystery there, the conversation prolly went a little something like this.

M&M: 'Dude, if you drop the charges I'll listen to your demo.' Beatee: 'Uh, okay.'

Spike Lee is finally getting his propers - NBC inked him to a development deal after he helmed the James Woods legal drama pilot called 'Shark'. First, it's good to see Spike doing his thing on one of the big networks and second, just to show y'all that homey didn't go completely mainstream, word is that he's putting the final touches on his four hour, HBO mini-series focusing on the government's response to Hurricane Katrina. Check out 'When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts' on August 21st and 22nd.



Saturday, July 22, 2006

Sweet Home Chicago...

Wassup, Y'all!

No laughter in the basement today, y'all. It's soapbox time for old Tyrone...

With all the recent allegations of torture and abuse flying around it comes as no surprise that the location of that abuse under current discussion isn't at that sunny facility in Guantanemo Bay, Cuba but right here in Sweet Home least it's no surprise to southside Chicagoans who have been trying to point out this fact for the longest. Seems Chicago could have saved several years and several million dollars of investigation time and money by just listening. So now it's out in the open and now that it is - surprise, there's little, if anything, that can be done about it since the investigations took so long to get started and so long to run their course...

Among the touchy feely suspect interrogation techniques employed by officers under former Chicago Police Commander Jon Burge were some 'The Shield' type touches such as cattle prod electric shocks to the genitals, suffocations with plastic bags pulled over heads, the standard beatings and burnings, forced oral copulation with hand gun barrels, Russian Roulette and mock executions with shotguns. Dang, what happened to smacking a homey with the Yellow Pages?

Seems that what the renegade cops were counting on from jump street happened just as they planned - the statute of limitations has run out on their crimes. So many continue their shady work in law enforcement, while the 'Bull Connor' of his time - Jon Burge - kicks it leisure style in a Chicago taxpayer financed retirement in Tampa. So it's back to business as usual - southsiders complaining about no justice, northsiders complaining about southsiders complaining and the U.S. medical community wondering why southsiders are more susceptible to high blood pressure and hypertension (check that link and the actual factuals on nature/nurture...). Hmmm...might need another 20 year, $10 million dollar investigation to figure that one out too.

It's funny how when conversations arise about reparations to southsiders for previous sins committed, the response is invariable something like: Dude, slavery was like what - 400 years ago? Man, let it go. How many handouts do you want?" Me? I'd be willingly to let that go if we could get justice applied equally *today*. One or the other would be cool, but neither?? That's whack. And folks wonder why the reactions to OJ's 'Not Guilty' verdict were so polar opposite. Don't get it twisted - I'm not fan of the man and I know there've been other brothers convicted by far less damning evidence but that single case showed that money can buy freedom and that green trumps any other color *everytime*. That was an impressive lesson for southsiders - a sign of progress no matter how twisted.

So it's more than ironic to see that GW has finally found it in his politcally motivated heart to accept an invition from the NAACP and speak to them after five years of giving them the finger. Word is his speech was perfectly timed for the mid-term elections well intentioned and suitably contrite in light of the thorny relationship southsiders have had with the Republican Party.

Me? I'm waiting to hear from Chicago's Mayor Richard Daley, who was States Attorney when this ruckus was going down. I think a few mea culpas (that Latin for 'my bad', y'all) are more than appropriate even if business returns to usual up in this piece. Unlike the crib that Diana Ross sang about in her turn as Dorothy in 'The Wiz' ('When I think of home I think of a place where there's love overflowing...'), Chi-town still has some work to do to break down the barriers that gave rise to all these 'sides' in the first place (southside, northside, blah, blah, blah). A good start to that would be to figure out a way to give Burge's address to the Gangster Disciples cut off those cushy retirement checks that Jon Burge is cashing down in FL.



Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Doin' The Butt - Maybe soccer's not so bad...

Wassup, Y'all!

Remember 'Go Go' music back in the day? 'Member Trouble Funk and that classic from D.C.'s E.U. (the group my boy turned me on to) Da Butt that was featured in Spike Lee's movie 'School Daze'? Well, I admit to watching the World Cup finale and after a boring a$$ 90+ minutes + overtimes ended in a 1-1 tie before going to the penalty kick tiebreaker, all that time was rewarded by a single moment as the players were jaw-jacking and milling around - the head butt heard 'round the world. In NFL parlance, it's known as a 'de-cleater' or a hit so perfectly vicious that it knocks a player off his feet (cleats) onto his back. French soccer star Zinedine Zidane put a little soccer twist on this by headbutting an opposing player in the chest so hard that he de-cleated him (the fact that the opposing player alledgedly called out homeboy's mama and sister make the hit even sweeter...). So now all the sudden, soccer has a cool, new move and maybe a few new viewers next season if this catches on vs. those weak a$$ slide tackles that has opposing players floppin' and crying like girls...

Time will tell, but I for one would like to see similar moves developed for the NBA which really hasn't yet developed a signature de-cleater move for opposing players who finally get on your last damn nerve. Sure Raj Bell had that sweet yolk he dropped on Kobe but that's more like wrestling. I'm talkin' 'bout a one hit move that just knocks an opposing player the fu*k out.

The video game "NBA Street 2" has a sweet move called 'Off the Heezy' where you bounce the ball off an opponent's head to get your dribble back. How 'bout a little tweak to that - like whaling the ball off an opponent's mug, perhaps? Or maybe a bounce pass to the crotch? I'll keep chewin' it over for a few, but clearly a tight move like that would make the game even more popular and serve as an exciting way to get those pesky players (like those dropping threes on your boyz with regularity) out of the game.

Until that time, I suggest using Kobe for practice until the NBA de-sneaker is perfected, y'all.

Can I get a witness?



Tuesday, July 18, 2006

O Trapped In the Closet...

Wassup, Y'all!

So it's come to this. Now in a blatant attempt to sell magazines 'coming clean' moment, our girl Oprah and her girl Gayle King have officially refuted the lingering question as to whether their close girlfriend relationship has crossed the line into gayhood. I've always felt there was a deeper reason behind Oprah's steadfast refusal to make an honest man out of poor Stedman and this whole business of talking to Gayle 'four times a day' smacks of some grade school phone addiction, which as we all know that in this day and age also includes O IM'ing Gayle hourly and texting her repeatedly when she gets Gayle's voicemail or her IM status indicates she's 'Away'...

O's got it bad, y'all and you can tell by her recent apparent weight gain that she's not happy and we all know that shortys tend to either hit the chocolate, ice cream or both when they're not happy. Clearly Stedman's not the answer, yet I'm figuring O is measuring the impact on her financial empire if she decides to come out of the closet. Let's face it, Ellen and Rosie didn't exactly come out unscathed but both seemed to have recovered nicely so I'm not sure why O is so scurred to just drop the news and live happily ever after.

Me? I'm waiting on a statement from Stedman - why's that brother always so quiet?? Man up, Steddy! You've enjoyed that gravy train long enough, homey and I'm sure Gayle and O will be glad to keep you on as a pool/cabana boy motivational consultant once they settle in.

In the meantime, let's close with a quick analysis of O's comment on the matter (in the August issue of O Magazine...). To wit:

"Something about this relationship feels really gay otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own that's compelling me to hide my true feelings for Gayle . Whatever this closet relationship friendship is, it's been a very fun ride cuz I always get to be on top."

O - to thine ownself be true. Come on out, homegirl. You'll still be our girl.



Monday, July 17, 2006

Monday Crackbacks Circa 07-17-06

Wassup, Y'all!

Wow - this is what Tony Parker wakes up to every morning? Hmmm, suddenly I'm not hatin' so much...

Check Cuba Gooding get his swerve on with party girl Serena Williams (old boy seems a little handsy to me) while Taye Diggs wonders why he can't get any play from Venus...

The 'Fro is now the Chicago Bulls' official hairstyle...Lord help the free throw line...

Formerly foine supermodel Christy Brinkley is giving Liz Taylor a run for her money by filing for divorce #4. I say that to say this - must not have been Billy Joel's doing when that marriage broke up. I'm feeling Billy since he was cool enough to use Ray Charles' first name as his daughter Alexa's middle name - can't hate on that. Guess Christy's giving that 'high maintenance' supermodel stereotype a pretty good workout....

And speaking of high maintenance, Naomi Campbell's still cracking heads and taking personal assistant names - and we thought a tour in Iraq was violent...



Saturday, July 15, 2006

Got Rich?

Wassup, Y'all!

*Finally* checked out Fiddy's movie 'Get Rich or Die Tryin' - that joint had been on my mama's Tivo so long that Fiddy has got to be up to about $7.25 by now with inflation. Part of my hesitancy to watch that joint was that whack phenomenon of every rapper thinking they can act. Sure a few can - Big Willie Style, Queen Latifa, Luda, Tupac and to a lesser degree Bow Wow, Nelly, Eminem, and now Fiddy. I think the best approach a movie director can take with the lower tier rapper/actors is to put them in a vehicle where all they have to do is be themselves, hence no real 'acting' is required. With Fiddy and 'Get Rich' - this approach worked to perfection...

Of course it never hurts to have Terrance Howard in your joint either. I like that brother in everything he's in - that's a smooth cat. A couple other notables I liked in this flick were Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
- the new homeboy on Lost (Mr. Eko) and Joy Bryant who had some chemistry going with Derek Luke in Antwone Fischer . It's good she had it there since I haven't been feeling her in any role since, including that weak 2nd banana girlfriend to Jessica Alba in 'Honey' (ahhh Honey...) and now in her no chemistry role as Fiddy's girlfriend in 'Get Rich'. Don't get me wrong, y'all, I like JB, but she needs to start doing some stretchin' (and eating a couple more chedder biscuits wouldn't hurt her either...). It just seemed to me every time she hit the screen, the action (which flowed well) would grind to a stop.

How autobiographical that joint is (seems fairly close right up to the nine caps that got busted in Fiddy's a$$ - including one point blank in the jaw) is debatable but we all know that he didn't skip happily ever after into
the hip-hop statosphere with the girl (JB) that he was so into in the movie. Just ask Vivica 'bout that...

All in all I found that joint entertaining, y'all. 3 Spinners (no joke ) . The soundtrack is pretty slamming too. Guess now I'll have to peep The Game's performance in 'Waist Deep' before Fiddy figures out a way to erase all his footage...



Thursday, July 13, 2006

Miss U - Hurtin' The Haters

Wassup, Y'all!

There was a time (maa' fact I think that time is right about now) when all kinds of shortys were coming out against beauty pageants chirpin' in that they 'exploited' women, 'objectified' women, 'diminished' women, blah, blah, blah. Well after peeping the pre-show glossys of the 2006 Miss Universe contestants, old Ty has to respectfully drop a quote from that wise sage Bugs Bunny who was fond of saying: "Awwwwwwww Shadddddap!"...

In terms of where the world-wide balance of shorty foine-ness has shifted, I'm gonna have to go on record as saying the westside shortys are in the house representin' this year. Miss Brazil, pictured in the opening glossy, is an excellent example of the heat the westsiders are bringing to the pageant, but surely cuties can be found all over the globe as you'll see during your leisure perusal of the glossys over on Yahoo News.

I particularly appreciated Miss Trinidad & Tobago keepin' it real by posing in a pimped out pageant truck courtesy of West Coast Customs, the outfit formerly responsible for pimping rides for MTV.

Once you finish up the glossys you should be more than ready to pull up a chair and a forty and enjoy the real thing live and in color on NBC's pageant broadcast on Sunday, July 23rd. If Miss Finland wins over a westside shorty this year, we'll have to take it to the streets!



Monday, July 10, 2006

Halle's doing the Tina Turner!

Wassup, Y'all!

Man! Add Eric Benet in there with Ike 'You hear me, Anne Mae?' Turner as the latest knucklehead to send a hot southside shorty over the wall to find love. Now we can't say Halle didn't try fellas, Wesley Snipes (the rumored ear drum rupturer), David Justice, Eric 'Freak Party' Benet and now over the wall into the waiting arms of Versace model Gabriel Aubry. *sigh*...

From the 'Take the Good With The Bad files' word has reached the basement that stone hottie Stacy Dash has finally found her way to the Playboy Mansion. Sadly, Brandy's old girl Countess Vaughn took a more ghetto turn by being the first southside shorty I've heard of who needed a booty implant (and then trying to drop it like it's hot - which could end up leaving a four mile crater...). And speaking of Brandy - who kicked her name out as a potential Star Jones replacement on The View? Old girls fallen a looooong way since those M-to tha, O-to tha Moesha days (for that matter so has Countess even though old Tyrone did catch a few laughs from The Parkers).



Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Ken Lay Dead - is Kells next?

Wassup, Y'all!

Man - miss a day and miss it all. My boy 'Tini Mack had to text me today in the basement to let me know that old Enron homey Kenneth 'Kenny Boy' Lay walked into the light from an apparent heart attack. Note that I said 'walked into the light' and not 'walked into the slammer' as it appears the pressure of an impending long a$ bid to Sing Sing and sleepless nights spent tossing salads (not the pleasant kind) got the better of his heart while on vacation with the fam. Based on the TALL number of homeys and homettes hurt by the Enron implosion he helped facilitate, Argentina shouldn't do too much crying for him but the news made me suddenly concerned for Peabody #1 - R. Kelly and whether the stress of his upcoming trial will have *him* walking into the light and slapping two final graham crackers on the Chocolate Factory. All I have to say to that is 'bet not! At least until he finishes up the next hip-hopera 'Trapped in the Closet' installment...

Now color me just a bit skeptical that Ken Lay's 'great gittin' up day' just happen to come just three months before his scheduled sentencing on jacking up Enron and running with the loot. Hmmm, as I've told my crew, I'm thinking Mrs. Lay helped him out a little with a syringe full of adrenaline to the heart just like in Million Dollar Baby. That way maybe she collects a Met Life policy while the government separates her from the rest of Kenny Boy's ill gotten gains.

Now the suicide watch is on for his partner in crime Jeff Skilling (aka Skillz). When the verdicts were handed down and both Lay and Skillz walked out to chat with the press, I was amazed by how calm each was with the expected outcome being life in prison once the sentencing came around. Skillz was all like - "well I'm disappointed with the outcome...blah, blah, blah". Disappointed with the outcome?? Dude - you're going to prison with Tossed Salad Man! If that was me and the judge foolishly let me remain free until sentencing, I'd be harder to find than Jimmy Hoffa, jack! Well now we know Kenny Boy had his plan all laid out. I'm expecting Skillz to show up in one of those extradition free countries any day now...

Which brings us back to Kells. What's that brother going to do if he's found guilty? I expect if that happens he'll be escorted straight to lock up to await sentencing per standard southside judicial treatment or get a Lil Kim type hook up from BET and get to star in his own 'Countdown to Lockdown' joint. We can always count on BET to exploit a bad situation and reward bad behavior. Of course, I'll have to check it out to do my proper reporting back to y'all, but that's my job. It's not pretty all the time, y'all. Better yet, maybe Court TV will hook me up with a press pass and let me blog from inside the courthouse. That way I can finally see that Kells P-TV video...



Monday, July 03, 2006

Free At Last, Free At Last!

Wassup, Y'all!

With all due apologies to brother Martin, word has hit the hip-hop wire that the Queen Bee is free. I guess now would be a good time for BET to finally get that whack L'il Kim reality show 'Countdown to Lockdown' out of its tired rotation and start that new L'il Kim reality series 'Countdown to Parole Violation'...

Okay, I'll admit that old girl did get out about 3 bricks early on good behavior from her one year and a day perjury sentence but it didn't take her long to step back into her Queen Bee lifestyle since the Rolls was waiting on her at the curb when she stepped out of lockup for (presumably) the last time at 6am. That will also (presumably) be the last time you'll see old girl up at 6am cuz you know hip-hoppers don't play that 'early to bed, early to rise' ruckus. When it comes to staying out of trouble, that makes waaaaay too much sense...

Anyway - kudos Queen Bee for doing your bid and paying your debt - enjoy your first day of freedom, homegirl. You know how we southsiders like to keep it real. Old Ty hears that just like in Boyz 'N The Hood when Doughboy's mama threw him a little 'Welcome home from the Joint' BBQ in the backyard with all the southside family reunion culinary favorites - L'il Kim's peeps are doing the same as its reported that she's heading straight to her North Jersey home to enjoy a feast of barbecue chicken, macaroni and cheese, and salmon pasta salad. Hold up! 'Salmon Pasta Salad'?? Looks like Queen Bee went all sadiddy while she was in lock up cuz y'all know, we don't do any damn Salmon Pasta Salad unless it has catfish and hot sauce in it. Maybe old girl did get rehabilitated...nahhhhh.

At any rate, I for one will be looking forward to LK's new red carpet shenanigans at upcoming award shows (which I'm sure will receive peerless coverage by my homegirl Maria on TheRunwayScoop) . I know BET is CRYING because she didn't get out in time to hit the 2006 BET Awards! Maybe if they invested more than twenty-five cents in their production studio equipment, they could have digitally spliced her into the show and put her in future promos (which would air 12 times every 30 minutes on 106 and Park commercial breaks...)

P.S.: If y'all are tired of new windows popping up each time you hit a link, blame 'Tini Mack cuz he was doing some TALL crying about the difficulty he had in clicking the 'back' button to come back to the posting each time he hit a link. I'm assuming that activity is a bit more stressful than using that same index finger to hit the exit button on each new window to get back to the post. I'm not hatin', 'Tini, I'm just statin'... :-)