Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Ty called out on the Jena Six

Wassup, Y'all!

That's right - old Ty was straight called out by ESPN's Jemele Hill for hanging with the fashionable people by doin' all this Mike Vick yapping while, once again, ignoring the big picture. Okay, okay - maybe ol girl didn't call me out directly in her recent article about all the misplaced focus on Mike Vick, but it sure did feel like it. So I'm here to set the record straight and focus attention where it belongs - on the parish seat of Louisiana's La Salla Parish - Jena, home to some very dark ruckus. So dark in fact, it's almost like Jena (pronounced 'Gina') jacked H.G. Wells' time machine and returned to the Jim Crow, Land of Cotton, Dixieland days - days it seems that good ol Jena never left...

Apparently while everybody (including ol Ty) was obsessing over Mike Vick and Lindsay Lohan's lack of driving skillz and Britney Spears lack of panties, the town of Jena was undergoing some racial strife not seen since the Malcom and Martin days. This ruckus got tipped off by southside high school students asking permission to sit under a shade tree on campus that presumably was reserved for northside students. The following day, three nooses (in the school colors), were found hanging from the tree. For some reason, the Jena northside high schoolers failed to realize the significance of such a thing and things (not surprisingly) escalated.

Fights broke out, a shotgun was pulled in gas station convenience store and finally a southside on northside brawl ended with six young southsiders (unfairly) up on charges of attempted murder - despite the fact that the northside beaten was treated and released the same day. The first defendant, Michael Bell "was found guilty by an all-white jury, and will face the possibility of up to 22 years in prison when he is sentenced. The sentencing was originally scheduled for July 30, but has been delayed until September 20, 2007. However, the case is currently in dispute, as the court-appointed public defender did not call a single witness in his attempt to defend Bell."

Hmmm...anybody else smell a rat? Decide for yourselves on this one - don't let me influence you. You can catch a short synopsis of the ruckus on Youtube and a more in-depth look at Jena and its racial dysfunction in this BBC documentary. It's some deep stuff, y'all.

Jemele! My bad, homegirl. Lesson learned. Jena, LA! W-T-F!? Get your damn act together. And for all my homeys from every side who think things are so much different now than in the sixties - maybe on the surface they are - but I know one thing - there are still places in the country where ol Ty can hop out of his hoopty with a grin on his grill and end up gettin' got for no other reason than for being from the southside. How damn sad is that?



Monday, August 20, 2007

Vick about to run the longest yard

Wassup, Y'all!

That would be the yard in the big house as the last shoe finally fell in this sorry a$$ dog fighting saga. As I first pointed out with his sorry cousin Davon Boddie in my July 23rd post, clearly Vick surrounded himself with a very sorry crew. Every last one of his boyz couldn't cop a plea fast enough despite the hook ups that came their way over the years courtesy of Vick, their human meal ticket....

It was obvious that Vick thought his crew had his back. How else can you explain pre guilty plea quotes from Vick like:

"I look forward to clearing my good name" (which was never very good from jump thanks to his knucklehead brother Marcus...)

"It's unfortunate I have to take the heat," [Vick] said. "If I'm not there, I don't know what's going on. It's a call for me to really tighten down on who I'm trying to take care of. When it all boils down, people will try to take advantage of you and leave you out to dry. Lesson learned for me."

Lesson learned indeed. One to be played out shortly in federal prison (home of Tossed Salad Man - careful, y'all! That's a R-rated link since it's a video of the *real* Tossed Salad Man - grown folks only and *no* office viewing with your speakers on MAX...), one which could result in the premature death of his NFL career (odds are the earliest he might see the field again is 2009) and one which has already has resulted in the loss of his tall endorsement chedda.

That his boyz cut deals and agreed to testify against him faster than a speeding bullet really isn't surprising given they were leeching busters to begin with. That Michael Vick actually thought they'd fall on their swords for him, well that was just plain stupid. That Michael Vick actually willingly killed dogs in some seriously heinous ways, well that's what night time visits from the Tossed Salad Man are for. If a brother ever needed superlative scrambling skillz, it will damn sure be at lights out in the federal pen....



Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Playmaker scores one last TD...

Wassup, Y'all!

Despite livin' in Chi-town, vistors to the basement here in the Malone Zone will find no bigger Philadelphia Eagles fan. Philly was where ol Ty was first raised to the heavens like little Kunta Kinte and told to behold the only thing greater than himself. Yeah - I know that's dramatic but it's the real deal so as you can imagine, I never (to this day) had a bit of love for any player associated with the New York Giants, Washington Redskins, and damn sure not the Dallas Cowboys. So I've watched Michael Irvin trials and tribulations with strippers and weed and coke and what not with a knowing smile. I appreciated homeboy's 'say whatever's on your mind' commentary style - but I more so appreciated when he fell off track - a sign of a true hater. So as he approached his Hall of Fame enshrinement I was waiting to pounce on his induction speech and do some more crackin' on his a$$ right up to the moment he actually gave that speech for the ages...

I didn't catch it live (naturally) but once the whispering got started minutes after his speech was complete, I knew I was mishearing things. More than one sports analyst in the know referred to the speech as one of the best ever heard at Canton - right behind Terrie Bradshaw's. I'm all like - hmmm, Playmaker must have brought a couple Hooters girls out with him for visuals. Then I went to the video and I've been trying to get my foot out of my mouth since.

What I saw was a thoughtful, eloquent, humble, apologetic man who fully realized and acknowledged his faults and who also realized the singular honor it is to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Damn - it wasn't supposed to be like this! Don't take my word for it, y'all. Go to the video and see for yourselves. It'll take about 15-20 minutes of your time (if you fast forward past Jerry Jones' intro...all except the part about Philly being the last team to smack Michael's a$$ down during the last game of his career, but I digress...), but check it all out - you won't regret it.

Dang Playmaker. I see your final act was to shut my a$$ up. Well played, homey. Well played.



Tuesday, August 07, 2007

WTF, Newark? W-T-F!

Wassup, Y'all!

*** Update ***
Oh snap! Two suspects have been arrested - one had his lawyer arrange his surrender directly to Newark's mayor, Cory Booker. The twist to this saga is that one suspect is a westsider so the southside/westside tension in Newark could get hot....

Ol Ty's hot on this one - HOT! I was going to drop a post on that Chicago Niketown ruckus - still will - but when I caught this article today, I literally had to take a moment to myself. What happened this weekend in Newark is just straight foul - no way to sugarcoat it. For those who haven't yet heard the actual factuals - on the night of August 4th, four young, southside college students - Terrance Aeriel, 18, his sister Natasha Aeriel, 19, Dashon Harvey, 20 and Lofemi Hightower, 20 (that's Lofemi and Terrance in the glossy ol girl is holdin') were chilling on a playground, listening to music when they apparently became the victims of a robbery. A robbery which ended with all four being forced to kneel against a wall and each getting shot in the head. Only Natasha survived....

They need to find the fools who did this and quick. Ruckus this foul should be on everybody's radar - particularly in the southside nation. I know it's early, but on the face of it there seems to be more to this than just jacking some of your own for their gear. I'm thinking that there's a liberal dose of that whack a$$ 'crabs in a barrel' mentality mixed in here too - a seriously dead weight that's been pulling the southside nation down since we landed. The hip-hoppers coined a new age term for it - hatin' - but the concept is far from new. It's as old as we are and clearly out of control in Newark. It's been a deadly cocktail for the longest - mix knuckleheads who don't have anything going for themselves with promising brothers and sisters that do.

For you Chicago faithful, you'll no doubt recall one of our ultimate 'crabs in a barrel' moments back in November of '84. Remember Big Time Ben Wilson from Simeon (that's brother Benjy from his 1984 High School State Champ glossy - back row, third from the left)? Holler back, 'Tini!

That young brother was LeBron and Kobe and KG before those brothers ever hit the block. He was the consensus #1 high school player in the nation right up until he accidentally bumped a couple small time gangbangers and got capped for the 'slight'.

Wake the hell up, y'all! This type of ruckus has GOT to stop.

**** Peace@Least, ****

P.S. WTF = What The Fu#k. Y'all know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Newark...

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Kells *finally* headed to court!

Wassup, Y'all!

Daaaang! It only took five years. Man - even OJ got it over with faster than that. Yes, y'all, word has reached me here in the basement via Channel 7 news that a court date has finally been set for R. Kelly's Pee-Gate trial. Ol boy got indicted on 21 counts (later reduced to 14 counts related to child pornography) back in June 2002!...

Whatever happened to the right to a 'speedy' trial? Seems Kells must have had his legal mouthpiece drop every wrench he had into the legal machinery to bog things down, but finally after five years, five best selling albums and three tours, the end is near and we're gonna get to see how much of flirt Kells really is since he's looking at a max bid of 15 years if convicted. You see - in prison it really doesn't help to be black, handsome, rich or know how to sing - but then again he is a flirt...

Man I better get mama to clear those late charges off the cable bill, cuz Ol Ty gonna be glued to Court TV for this one, y'all!