Thursday, November 24, 2005

The Double Edged Shorty Sword...

Wassup, Y'all!

5-0 finally tracked my butt down and dragged me back to the basement. I've been kicking it out on the street a lot lately, hence my lackadaisical posting schedule but I appreciate y'all keeping an eye out for a brother and checking back in from time to time.

In the wake of the news of Debbie LaFave, the hottie middle school teacher who slept with one of her 14 year old students and walked with *no* jail time, old Tyrone feels compelled to dip into the touchy subject of the 'Shorty Double Standard'...

Now y'all know if the tables had been turned and it was a homeboy middle school teacher who had consensual sex with a 14 year old female student, old boy would be in federal prison right now doing a 20 year bid and tossing all kinds of salads . What's that about? Mainly it's about old school society giving an up top high five to a supposed mack daddy 14 year old who's got the mojo to pull a twenty-something hottie blonde school teacher. Sad but true. But wait there's more!

Remember a few weeks back when two Carolina Panther cheerleaders got caught getting busy in a restaurant bathroom stall ? Homeboys - what was your first thought? I'm sure it was similar to mine and went a little something like this, "Damn - wish I could have peeped that action! Why do I *always* have to be in the stall next to a big boy with digestive trouble??" Okay flip the script and ask the shortys what their first thought was? Probably something like, "Those are a couple of skanky ass heifers! That's nasty!" See? It all depends on your sexual persuasion, y'all.

Now if we really flipped the script and discuss that persistent rumor of Eddie Murphy being gay (despite the talk about him kicking with Mariah Carey in Miami during this year's MTV VMAs. Even that talk couldn't quite erase the memory of Eddie and the transvestite in the alley…). The attached glossy is courtesy of Got HipHop? which is pubbing a story about some potential shenanigans going on between Eddie Murphy and Johnny Gill (seems old boy had to keep up with Bobby Brown somehow, y'all - being his New Edition replacement and all!) since they're hanging out pretty tough and now apparently Johnny has moved into Eddie's guest house. Damn - isn't this the slippery slope that OJ went down with Kato Kalin's butt? Anyway just hearing a rumor like that will make the homeboys *and* the shortys cringe. What is it that makes girl/girl action palatable but boy/boy action something worthy of gouging your own eyes out? I sure don't know but I know I'm getting itchy just typing about it, y'all!

Before I jet, I wanted to let those homeboys out there who've been fiending for a Serena Williams fix know that Got HipHop? has a couple choice glossys of old girl that show what happens when you try to get *all that* into an outfit that's not built for *all that*. I'm pretty sure homegirl knew that ahead of time, but had to test the laws of physics anyway. Yet another well worn play from the Shorty Handbook that I *keep* falling for.

Gobble, Gobble, y'all! Happy Thanksgiving!!



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