Friday, July 23, 2004

Halle Shakes it like a Polaroid Picture

Wasssup y'all. I'm a little cricked up from camping out in the hoopty all night to be first in line for the Catwoman matinee today. The critics (so called professional movie watchers) were doing a lot of hating (mostly on the director 'Rice' Pitof). Even my boys at couldn't save it from a dreaded tomato splat but if you're a fan of Halle's femine wiles, this movie is off the heazzy, fo shezzy. Woooo - old girl came correct!... From the 'Daaaaaaaaamn' outfit (that's right homeys - a 9 'a' outfit. Note that's 9 out of a possible 10 'a's. A 10 'a' Damn fashion rating is reserved exclusively for Tyra in any Victoria's Secret photo shoot), to a hot little strut that shot the fizz right out my Rockstar Energy Drink that I snuck in. Victoria's Secret models all over the world will be going to the Monday morning break down to copy that bad boy ('cept my girl Tyra who can already hang with the big dogs..cats).

I guess the critics were looking for a serious period piece like Dodge Ball. All I know is there bet not be a brother among them hatin' on the movie or we'll have to reclaim your Plain Bellied Sneetch credentials and let you roll with the Star Bellied Sneetches (cuz we know the brothers and sisters have no stars upon thars). That said, the boys at Winky's corner store were unanimous about one last thing (Halle goes without question) - Sharon Stone can still get it. Old girl's still got the basic instinct...Some women are like that -- Tina, Lena - not to say Sharon's in that age bracket but I have a feeling when she does get there - she can still get it.

I leave y'all with one glaring error the bruhs pointed out in the movie (so I don't spoil it for folks who haven't seen it - turn your eyes away from the screen while you read...). 'Rice' Pitof - homey you know there ain't a damn way in hell that Halle could ever squeeze all that bodunkadunk through those jail cell bars. That's like asking Beyonce to back it on up through the eye of a needle - natural physics preclude such nonsense. We all know sisters roll with enhanced safety equipment (and the world is a better place for it). The bruhs, however, did appreciate Rice's cinematic vision with superb camera shots that accentuated both Berry and Stone badunkadunk. Truly revolutionary film making.

All right I'm out. I'm headed over to Starbuck's to perpetrate and read the NY Times to see what new shenanigans GW has gotten himself into today. More on his friendly chat with the Urban League in a minute...



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