Thursday, July 22, 2004

Let's Get This Party Started

Wasssup, y'all. I'm Tyrone Malone - The Urban Eye That Will Tell You Why. Welcome to my inaugural column. For the brothers down at Winky's corner store on 95th and Ashland, 'inaugural' is how saditty brothers say first. I aim to keep my people informed as events unfold and give you my uniquely honed urban perspective on current events...

For example, when the mainstream press is reporting on GW's position on environmental issues and Kerry's position on national defense, I'll say "So? I hear both those cats are pulling in over eight figures a year. How about they scale back on those catty political ads and put on a few late night infomercials to show the brothers and sisters how to get what they got?"

See? It's all about perspective. You'll get that from me. Nothing but the straight skinny. So dip a toe in, home slice. The water's fine. Sisters - you may want to braid it up or snap on a bathing cap before you take the plunge, but don't be scurred. Your doo will survive.

In the coming weeks I plan to glide the hoopty up the east coast to catch the conventions in Beantown and my main spot NYC and report from the floor. Okay, well not actually the floor but I'll have a good vantage point from the television in my hoopty's steering wheel. I'm rolling on 24's y'all with them spinners so I'll be styling outside the Fleet Center and Madison Square.

We still got a few to go until the J Squared crew hits Boston, so tomorrow I'll be hanging at Winky's checking the reaction to National Cat Day. That's right y'all - Catwoman starring Halle "I'll never marry" Berry is opening at a theater near you. I'm front row and center tomorrow y'all so don't be blowing up the celly-cell until after the 11:30 matinee.

'Til then - Peace@Least


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