Sunday, November 28, 2004

Artest Redux - From Chapter III to Chapter XI

Wassup, Y'all!

Y'all know it's not me to kick a man when he's down, but I'm only writin' so let me crack back on our favorite knucklehead one last time (maybe) before moving on. My NYC contact Lil' Punch is on the front line tabulating the dailies on record sales and this just in....Eminem & Destiny's Child are safe y'all! It looks like R-Testy's newly produced CD Chapter III for the girl group Allure (how is it boys have bands and girls have groups?) is selling like...cold cakes. Here's a glossy for y'all's inspection. Can't be their fault...R-Testy, man how can you not properly prop a group of hotties?


Not many units flyin' off the shelves, y'all, surprising as that might be. But I'll hold out judgement since this is R-Testy's freshman effort. Word is most acts got their start hawking home pressed CDs from the trunk of their Pintos (Dr. Dre). Side Note: R-Testy! Congrats on makin' the cover of Sport's Illustrated's November 29th issue. I normally reserve my SI purchases to the annual shorty swimsuit joint but I had to peep this one in your honor.

Now onto a first for old Tyrone. I have it issue a retraction y'all. Y'all regular readers will remember my implicit crack on Lil' Jon in my November 17th column where I was fussing about Destiny's Child singing about needing a 'Soldier'. It turns out that I've been out of the loop. Silly me thinking hot shorties don't really go for...homely brothers. My bad, it turns out that hot shorties don't go for poor, untalented homely brothers. Yes, y'all in a world where even Flavor Flav can pull a hot shorty, my Entertainment Bureau Chief My-T Star called to tell me that not only was Lil' Jon dating lyrical shorty Mya, but now he's dating new 'it' girl shorty Christina Milian.

Now in case y'all aren't from this planet and don't know either of these top shelf shorties, let me drop a couple more glossies.

Mya - King Oct Issue

Christina Milian

How can life be so unfair? So here it go Lil' Jon - my bad. Okaaaaaay?



P.S. If the previous glossy of Farrah Franklin didn't convince you to get a subscription to King Magazine, that Mya cover has got to have you ready to part with some paper, y'all! Quiet its kept - word is Christina was a former cover girl - don't miss it!

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