Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Cold Cash....

Wassup, Y'all!

Dang - you know you're up to some dirty when the congressional Republicans are up in arms about the treatment of a Democratic congressman at the hands of the FBI! Such is the strange state of affairs of southside congressman William J. Jefferson (D-LA) whom the FBI proports to have the goods on. It seems those rascally Republicans aren't so much up in arms that the FBI raided old boy's cribs in D.C. and The Big Easy, but the fact that they raided his *congressional* office without warning. Oh snap! Think the Repubs are hiding anything incriminating in their own congressional offices? I'm speculation that's really where Jimmy Hoffa is stashed since their belief seems to be that congressional offices are soverign territory similar to the foreign embassies in D.C....

At any rate, Bill Jeff seems to be playing his own game of Clue with the FBI - "It was Bill Jeff, in the kitchen, with $100 G's in the freezer!" At least that's how it's being reported. To wit - old boy was recorded taking a briefcase which alledgedly contained $100 G's. Later back at the ranch, the FBI alledges that they found $90 G's broken up into $10 G packets stashed in tin foil and Tupperware in Bill Jeff's Frigidaire.

Dang - I know there's at least one happy, blonde escort in D.C. trying to figure out how much of the $10,000 she'll have left over if she spends $1,000 on a new pocket dog... But I digress. A friend of mine once gave old Tyrone some sage advice that went a little something like this: "If you get caught in a lie, just deny" (no, it wasn't Jesse, y'all) meaning that until you actually admit you did it, no one will know for sure. Clearly Bill Jeff overheard this conversation and is trying that advice out for a spin. I know, I know - innocent until *proven* guilty but it seems kind of silly for a powerful congressman to need to keep that kind of cash wrapped in a freezer like yesterday's leftovers. That's what banks are for (unless old boy's old skool like my grandmama who was proud to point to her Public Enemy 'Can't Truss It' T-shirt when asked about any institution run by anyone but her - Grandma! You think those tomatos at the Safeway are any good? No - you can't truss no tomatos you don't pull out your own garden, baby...).

I'm thinking things look a little dark for Bill Jeff at the moment, but you never know. In the meantime, I wonder if the Reynold's Wrap folks added this to their list of novel uses for aluminum foil? Man, what doesn't that stuff do?



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