Sunday, July 15, 2007

Duffosity in the Southside Nation

Wassup, Y'all!

It pains me to say that extreme duffosity is not limited to any demographic 'side'. I was going to conveniently let the story of the southside judge suing a Asian dry cleaner for $54 million for a pair of damn pants they misplaced go, especially when I found out that homeboy was a southsider. It was too embarrassing. The case got (rightly) decided in favor of the Asian dry cleaner and I thought that would be the end of it - that that Tom Foolery would sink into justified obscurity, but noooooo. Now it appears that I have to do the right thing now that this fool, Judge Roy Pearson, has asked the presiding judge to reconsider his verdict. That's him on the left in the glossy, y'all. I can only imagine that what's in the briefcase behind him is all his common sense, which he lost on the way to his courtroom...

There's a concept called 'Collective Guilt' that's always on a southsider's mind. It's basically "the idea that a group of humans can bear guilt above and beyond the guilt of particular members". Boiled down to Winky's Corner Store lingo you have a situation where a fool like Roy Pearson can cast disrepute on the entire southside nation. Y'all may not know this, but every time there's a heinous crime reported, like say someone shoving a pregnant woman into a woodchipper or the Manson murders, a collective sigh goes up throughout the Southside nation when it's revealed that the crime was perpetrated by a Northsider or an West or Eastsider (like that foul Virginia Tech ruckus). This is because we know we're already viewed as suspect #1 when anything jumps off and we don't want to give anyone yet another reason to make wild a$$ assumptions about what we're capable of.

Similarly, when a fool like Pearson pops up on national news, a collective cringe goes through the nation as we know the knee jerk reaction to seeing his mug pasted next to such Ridiculously Blatant Duffosity as suing for $54 million for a pair of damn pants will be something like this on the train the next morning - "Hey Bob, you hear about that black guy suing for $54 million for a pair of damn pants? Man, those people are always looking for an easy buck. First welfare now, this..." Jacked up, but true. Aint' no denying it. Sure there are some reasonable folks around that look at everything based on the individual but that's more the exception than the rule.

So just for the next week, I'm willing to call the Drop Squad off Clarence Thomas and put them on the case of this fool to get him off the air and 'rehabilitate' him properly. And I thought Paris Hilton was a fool. Just goes to show that no side is immune to Ridiculously Blatant Duffosity, but I have to admit, this one stings more than usual, y'all...



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