Hip Hop NBA, Part Deux

Wassup, Y'all!

Just a quick follow up to my 4/25 post on the subtle and growing shift in the NBA to identify and draft foreign players as their frustation grows over trying to work with the American Hip-Hop B-Baller who typically arrives with underdeveloped fundamentals, overemphasized athleticism and a MC Hammer-sized entourage. Over on ESPN.com, league commish David Stern says he's 'appalled' over the state of the game. Oooo - pretty strong words that get stronger after the jump...

Seems D-Stern's feelings on the matter have gotten to the point where he's considering using the NBA clout to start developmental leagues in America similar to the European-style basketball factories that are cranking out more and more players that NBA GMs are desperate to bust a slob over.

D-Stern's feelings were a little hard to read given this quote:

"The roster of NBA teams is going to be enriched by huge numbers of international players, and it's going to happen."

Wow - if you've got that statement coming out of the league Commissioner's mug, I'd be a little nervous if I was a biddy-bop, neighborhood baller, faking like I was D-Wade and saying 'All day, baby. All day." everytime I dropped a shot over my boy in the driveway.

It's no doubt that stories like this ESPN joint will become more common and the league will undergo a fundamental change - no doubt. It already has - *two* Frenchmen in the NBA playoffs (Tony Parker and Boris Diaw) - Sacre Bleu! A German being the most dominant big man in a finals that also features Shaquille O'Neal? Ach du lieber!

Have no fear - it will all settle out in the end with the end result being a return to fundamental American basketball which will result in a better, more exciting product on the floor. As with most things - competition is good. But make no mistake, my southside, b-ball homeys - school is definitely back in session in the NBA.

Shaq - free throw practice is calling brother...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Pause for the Cause

Wassup, Y'all!


A Memorial Day PSA for you to ponder while you're trying to get your weekend NBA Playoff b-ball, down home BBQ'ing, three day holiday groove on. Remember just why there is a Memorial Day holiday. If you're kinda hazy on this, check here and more importantly, here and recognize...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

X-Men 3: Ty and 'Tini's Day Off

Wassup, Y'all!

Decided to dip into the theater yesterday afternoon with my boy 'Tini Mack to take in the latest X-Men offering, X-Men: The Last Stand.

We entered the 120,000 screen polygaplex with high hopes and copious snacks and left agreeing on a couple points, the main one being how sexy Halle Berry's walk was so you can pretty much see where this review is heading...

Before I get to X-Men Trey, I have to take a second to prop one of the previews they showed before the main event. I have to say if the movie lives up to the trailer, The Decent looks like an off-the-hook horror flick. Apparently this is one of those flip-the-script movies that was made in the UK and has been out in the UK long enough for it to already be on DVD well before its debut in the US. It's due to bow here in August and I'm thinking I need to be front row and center for that bad boy. Check out the review and trailer (unfortunately not the one they showed in the theater when I saw it) to see what a brother is talking about...

Now back to X-Men 3 - we also both agreed that the story didn't hold up to either the first or second installments but the F/X and action were predictably off the hook. Our feelings about it matched up pretty well with the jibber-jabber going on over at Rottentomatoes.com for X-Men 3 - tasty yet not completely satisfying - Halle's head swiviling walk notwithstanding, y'all. Man the fellas could sit on the stairs in the X-Mansion and just watch her walk by all day long...but I digress.

One thing I liked about the comic book vs. the movie is the way the comic could portray the human/mutant racial (species) tension and make it seem possible. In the movie, you're left just thinking that with all the different powers the mutants have they could just alleviate all that tension by just wiping out the humans. No muss, no fuss. I guess that's where 'good' mutants come in but how good can you be if you're always getting viewed and treated like a second class citizen? That's something to ponder as all these immigration debates rage on...

Anyway, me and 'Tini agreed that we couldn't bestow more than 2 Spinners on this bad boy and a 4 on the Homeboy Movie Viewing Scale. Nothing special (outside of the off-the-hook F/X). Wonder if the digital F/X boys had anything to do with Halle's walk??

Also a couple tidbits before I go - be sure to stay until after the credits roll to catch a final scene that will presumably set up X-Men 4 and for you 24 fans out there, note that the female doctor who is seen describing the mutant 'cure' and trying to inject Angel with it is none other than our girl Shohreh Aghdashloo (Dina Araz) from last season. Remember she played the mom in the terrorist family? I had her accent pegged from jump street but couldn't place it until after we had rolled up out of that joint. It's a minor role and not much screen time - I guess the curse of Academy Award Best Supporting Actor/Actress nominees continues. Shoot - for that matter it continues for the winners as well. What the heck has Cuba Gooding Jr. done lately? Joe Pesci? Mira Sorvino? Hmmm, guess all that glitters isn't gold when it comes to *those* Oscars...

Come back, Cuba. We miss you, brother...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Wayans Bros Little Man Larceny...

Wassup, Y'all!


If you're watching the NBA Playoffs on TNT, you've no doubt seen the trailer to the upcoming Wayans brothers flick - Little Man. I have to admit that joint looks pretty funny and the F/X they used to make Marlon Wayans look little like that is off the hook, but come on now! They stole that concept straight from Bugs Bunny, y'all! How low can you go. Now I've been a BB fan from way back so I spotted the similarity right away. I was all like - Yo they got that ruckus from that Baby Face Finster episode!...

Tell me I'm lying - check out this glossy. Man, they duplicated this exact scene in the trailer they're showing. Man, it's a dark day when you have to jack Looney Tunes for your material!

On a little lighter note, I noticed that Cinematical posted the trailer for Dreamgirls that the production company used at the Cannes Film Festival. It's a mix of trailer clips and background interviews. It's pretty good - I'm looking forward to seeing that flick. I wonder if Jigga's gonna be on the soundtrack?? :-)

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Cold Cash....

Wassup, Y'all!

Dang - you know you're up to some dirty when the congressional Republicans are up in arms about the treatment of a Democratic congressman at the hands of the FBI! Such is the strange state of affairs of southside congressman William J. Jefferson (D-LA) whom the FBI proports to have the goods on. It seems those rascally Republicans aren't so much up in arms that the FBI raided old boy's cribs in D.C. and The Big Easy, but the fact that they raided his *congressional* office without warning. Oh snap! Think the Repubs are hiding anything incriminating in their own congressional offices? I'm speculation that's really where Jimmy Hoffa is stashed since their belief seems to be that congressional offices are soverign territory similar to the foreign embassies in D.C....

At any rate, Bill Jeff seems to be playing his own game of Clue with the FBI - "It was Bill Jeff, in the kitchen, with $100 G's in the freezer!" At least that's how it's being reported. To wit - old boy was recorded taking a briefcase which alledgedly contained $100 G's. Later back at the ranch, the FBI alledges that they found $90 G's broken up into $10 G packets stashed in tin foil and Tupperware in Bill Jeff's Frigidaire.

Dang - I know there's at least one happy, blonde escort in D.C. trying to figure out how much of the $10,000 she'll have left over if she spends $1,000 on a new pocket dog... But I digress. A friend of mine once gave old Tyrone some sage advice that went a little something like this: "If you get caught in a lie, just deny" (no, it wasn't Jesse, y'all) meaning that until you actually admit you did it, no one will know for sure. Clearly Bill Jeff overheard this conversation and is trying that advice out for a spin. I know, I know - innocent until *proven* guilty but it seems kind of silly for a powerful congressman to need to keep that kind of cash wrapped in a freezer like yesterday's leftovers. That's what banks are for (unless old boy's old skool like my grandmama who was proud to point to her Public Enemy 'Can't Truss It' T-shirt when asked about any institution run by anyone but her - Grandma! You think those tomatos at the Safeway are any good? No - you can't truss no tomatos you don't pull out your own garden, baby...).

I'm thinking things look a little dark for Bill Jeff at the moment, but you never know. In the meantime, I wonder if the Reynold's Wrap folks added this to their list of novel uses for aluminum foil? Man, what doesn't that stuff do?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

LeBron: Ghost of Christmas Past?

Wassup, Y'all!

When do you cross the line between competitor and school yard chump? Okay, chump may be a little strong for 'King James' but after two petty 'school yard' moves LeBron James dropped in the Cavs' last two series, I have to wonder just how mature this 21 year old is...

School Yard Play #1 - talking Smack to Gilbert Arenas before both game ending free throws (which Arenas missed opening the door for the Cavs to close out the game and the series). Man, we used to do that ruckus on the elementary school playgrounds, but the NBA? What happened to good sportsmanship and letting a brother play without some mind games?

And speaking of sportsmanship, that leads me to School Yard Play #2 - at the end of Game 7 against the Pistons, LeBron just walks off the court without shaking hands a la Isiah Thomas when the Bulls finally broke through and went to the finals following Game 5 of the '90-'91 Eastern Conference Finals choosing to just walk off the floor like a little girl. What's up with that? I guess LeBron was watching a little 'classic NBA' on the NBA channel and decided to wear the dress he inherited from Isiah. Dude - shake some hands and show some respect. It's one thing not to want to see another team celebrate their win on your floor but Game 7 at the Palace and you can't give out some propers? That's whack, homey.

Can I get a Witness, LeBron?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Kobe Dick

Wassup, Y'all!

Okay, okay don't get your panties all bunched up about this blog title. Y'all know as well as I do that Kobe Bryant (post Eagle, Colorado and Laker championship squad blow up) is a very polarizing homeboy these days. There are only two camps - you love him or you hate him. Ol Tyrone finds himself in the 'Hate 'em' (or is that hater??) camp and no more so than after his mean mugging, fist pumping, jersey popping, and stagger swaggering during the Lakers' first round series with the Phoenix Suns. Now don't get it twisted, I've got no love for those streaky Suns either but I have to admit that series did make me a big fan of Raja Bell (the fact that he used to play for my boyz the Sixers is besides the point...) - that and the fact that he keeps showing up big in the playoffs to date...

That Lakers/Suns Game 5 clothes line yoke that he put on Kobe after getting elbowed in the face for the 22nd time was an all-time classic. Course, there was Kobe picking himself up off the floor with that crackhead smirk, making an obvious gesture that he was just brushing off that Hall of Fame yolk but what pissed me off more were his post game comments about Bell:

"Does he know me? Do I know this guy? I don't know this guy," Bryant said. "I might have said one word to this guy. I don't know this kid. I think he overreacts to stuff.

"We go out there, we play, and when we play during the season, we play each other. That's it. I don't know this kid. I don't need to know this kid. I don't want to. We go out there, we play the game and leave it at that. Maybe he wasn't hugged enough as a kid. I look at him a little bit, he gets a little insecure or something. I don't know."

Baltimore Sun sports columnist David Steele wrote a tight commentary about the incident and the fact that if Kobe 'doesn't know' Bell, he might need to get checked out for early onset Alzheimers. The two have a history and if I were Bell (especially after hitting that insane three in Game 5 of the Suns/Clippers series to put the game into double OT), I'd be wearing a shirt with a glossy of Kobe going down at the end of that yolk and the words: "Know me now? How's the vacation going?" or since it seems we have the makings of a must see match up next season everytime the Lakers and the Suns lace 'em up, he could just paraphrase that line from The Game's "Hate It or Love It" cut - "...I ain't going nowhere so you can get to know me."

Still don't know Raja Bell, Kob? It's pretty easy - all you have to do is turn on the TV, homey.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

If You Don't Know, Now You Know...

Wassup, Y'all!

Sorry for the brief timeout but even ol Tyrone has to catch a little R&R *sometime*. The adjacent glossy is an actual location shot but it's up to you geographically inclined readers to match the glossy to the Caribbean locale. Anyway, after a quick jump down to the Carib, your boy is back in effect with something new to ponder. Before I hopped my cramped, kid screaming, commercial, economy class flight G4 down to the sun and sand, I had a chance to catch the flicks United 93 and Mission Impossible III and in both cases I left the theater trippin'...

United 93 (a docu-drama of the before, during and after of the only 9/11 hijacked airliner that didn't hit its target) had me reliving a 'Glory Moment' shortly after the beginning credits rolled. After all this time, it took this flick to get me to realize that there was a southside homeboy at the controls of the plane. I admit I'm a little slow on the uptake from time to time, but I do consider myself fairly newsworthy so I was wondering how it was that I completely missed that fact. That feeling was similar to how I felt when I checked out the back-in-the-day civil war movie 'Glory' about the Massachusetts 54th - the first southside regular Union Army regiment that garnered high praise for their sacrifice in what amounted to a suicide mission when it stormed Fort Wagner in South Carolina. In that case, I was pretty sure I was never taught that history lesson (versus catching 40 winks during the discussion in high school U.S. History class) so I was pretty shocked that 1) it ever happened and 2) it wasn't mainstream enough to mention.

Fast forward to May 2006 and I'm in the theater wondering who the southside homeboy dressed as a pilot is as he heads toward United flight 93. Turns out he was 1st Officer LeRoy Homer who happen to be flying right seat the day United 93 got hijacked and eventually crashed in rural Pennsylvania. His personal story is pretty impressive and I was wondering how it eluded the spotlight that shined so brightly on Todd 'Let's Roll' Beamer and his wife Lisa? since no one actually knows exactly what transpired on the flight. (Spoiler Alert On!) As portrayed in the movie, both he and the Captain of the flight went out very hard before the crash but whether it went down like that or not (some views say 'not') I still figure the brother deserved similar ink time as the other passengers. (Spoiler Alert Off!) A look back through the 'Net yields a few nuggets like the tight article by Sun Times columnist Mary Mitchell but little else - and I certainly didn't see his wife and little daughter in the balcony (like Lisa Beamer) when President Bush broke off his invitations to his follow up speech to Congress after the attacks. Hmmmm... Anyway, I gave the movie 2.5 Spinners and a 6 on the Homeboy Movie Viewing scale. It's deep - even more so when you realize it really happened.

As for MI: III - that joint was action eye candy galore. The action sequences were off the hook, the gadgets and 'cons' were tight, but it all felt like I'd seen it before. I'm a fan of director J. J. Abrams' TV stuff like Alias and Lost and MI: III felt pretty much like a big screen extension of those joints right down to the black screen, white character cut shots that inform the viewers where the action is about to take place - that's straight out of Alias (and that show got so tired going back to the same well that it's about to bow out for good). But any flick that props *both* Ving Rhames and Laurence Fishburne can't be all bad and MI: III isn't. I dropped the same 2.5 Spinners on that joint with a 8 on the HMV scale. Dang. They could have gotten 3 Spinners if they had figured out a way to get Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie in that joint... 'Course Tom Cruise seems to have his mind on other things these days y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

The World In Black And White

Wassup, Y'all!

USA Today is reporting that Jason Taylor and his wife, Katina Taylor were the victims of a hate crime. Hmmm...we still can't all get along despite Rodney King's heartfelt plea three days after verdict day in LA way back in 1992. How whack is that? If that's the case, what heinousness might be brewing in the face of this recent Mexican immigration dust-up?...

In light of activities undertaken by George Clooney, Bono, Angelina Jolie, & Bill Gates, I'm still wondering why there isn't a well known southside celebrity consistently attached to publicizing issues on the African continent? I know there must be at least one but he/she must be practicing some mighty quiet diplomacy, though I thought the point was to *publicize* the issues. Could it be that southside stars aren't big enough to attract media attention like the big four above? I think not since Will and Jada were able to attract some ink for their recent educational vacation in Israel. Hmmm...wonder how their fact finding mission to Darfur went? Maybe they just need to have a few more Jazzfests over there...

Straight from the Malone Zone Player Hater file: A quick total of the Top 25 NBA player salaries (minus the two northsiders on the list Keith Van Horne at #11 (that's just straight stealing, Keith!) and Dirk 'Earning Every Penny' Nowitzki at #20) comes to just a shade over $358 million. Damn. No, let me rephrase that, Daaaaaaamn! That's *tall* chedder. Now let me add in a dash of Oprah Winfrey's $225 million earnings last year and a pinch of Tiger Wood's $87 million and we clock in at just over $670 million. Hmmm, yeah, y'all are right, you probably can't do much with just 10% of that over in Africa (or here in the inner cities for that matter). I know, I know, you hear of Tiger and Oprah giving back all the time and you can't watch an NBA playoff game now without hearing about how the NBA Cares, but you have to wonder why no one's thought about combining that type of economic clout before? Just thinking out loud...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Bell Tolling for The Hip Hop NBA?

Wassup, Y'all!

I feel moved today and I'm going long so hang tight. When I first started this blog I did so by alerting Malone Zone readers to the fact that my value wasn't going to be in breaking the news but rather in interpreting the news through an urban lenz (no need to thank me for that service, y'all. Your peeping the blog is thanks enough). Lately, I've been gathering subtle clues from the media and from the NBA front office that seem to me to be signaling the beginning of the end of what's been called the 'Hip Hop NBA'...

Y'all know - the New Jack NBA culture ushered in by Allen Iverson and other young bucks, which features braids, tats, doo rags, 'shorts' that stop just above the ankles, baggy clothes at game day functions and that ubiqutious hip hop accessory - the ill mannered entourage (the one featuring broke, high school homeys who expect VIP perks at all NBA venues that feature their boy).

Just like in Cali where homeowners can get ridiculous chedder for their 1 BDR, no kitchen or bath fixer-upper in a seller's market, the Hip Hop NBA (HHNBA) crew could pretty much call the shots since they represented the NBA's bread and butter (aka the best basketball talent available). You could feel the northside NBA owners cringing at the culture shock as their no-crust, watercress sandwiches and bottles of 'still' water crossed paths with Fatburgers and Crunk Juice - oh the horror! Lovey - look at his grill! Well this *is* America, y'all and you have to know that America is undeniably a nation run by northsiders, either out in front or behind the scenes. So it's only natural that such power and influence would eventually find a workable solution to the Hip Hop NBA 'problem'.

The other day I read a tight article by Greg Boeck of USA Today that clearly outlines the plan (at least in my conspiratoral mind). He points to a growing pipeline of basketball talent that is far removed from the inner city b-ball havens like NYC's Rucker Park and Oaktown's Mosswood Park. This pipeline has feeders in cities like Treviso, Italy and Barcelona, Spain and it seems, based on the ever increasing number of foreign players (aka 'internationals') in the NBA (a record 18% this season, y'all) that the NBA owners have found the chunk of Kryptonite they've been looking for to dismantle whatever leverage the HHNBA crew thought they had.

To the point, Boeck's essay dropped the following insightful quote:

"NBA teams are realizing it's less risky to draft internationals because they're more coachable, more socialized, have no posses and have not been Americanized," says former college coach George Raveling, Nike's director of global basketball. Raveling's prediction: International players will comprise 50% of the NBA by 2010

"More socialized"? "No posses"? Ouch. You have to know that Old George is only vocalizing what a lot of old school, NBA owners have been thinking. It also can't be denied that the way basketball is taught and learned in Europe and other parts of the world is more pure, fundamental and team based than the freelance, rim bending, bicep kissing, 1 on 5, break-your-boy-down on national TV style favored by the HHNBA crew. I'll be the first to admit, the Euros have skillz and that alone should send a shiver down the spines of the HHNBA crew.

As Boeck points out (and we all watched in road crash fascination) that in recent international matchups featuring NBA stocked teams, those teams finished third at the last Summer Olympics and sixth in the 2002 World Games (granted many big names opted off the national teams but Stevie Wonder could see how team play equalized individual athleticism on the court). Particularly in the last Olympics it was clear that despite the presence of AI on the roster, Team USA had *No Answer* for the funk the foreign clubs were bringing.

Seems to me the tide is turning, y'all - remember that recent dust-up caused by NBA Commissioner David Stern when he instituted a strict dress code for the players? It wasn't like he dreamed that bad boy up all by himself. Among items banned were: T-shirts, sleeveless shirts, shorts, headgear (aka ballcaps with the tag still on and cocked to the side, doo rags, etc.), chains, pendants, medallions worn over clothes (aka no Flava Flav clocks, no pendants with spinning rims, no platinum, iced out, 9 inch Jesus pieces, etc.), no sunglasses indoors (cuz their future's no longer so bright they gotta wear shades). Now don't get it twisted, y'all. I'm not hatin' (truly) but I am a purist and all for looking professional when it's called for so I'm with D-Stern on this one.

It seems that since most NBA players are rich (at least until their entourages sponge it all away from them) they assume they can run the show however they choose. But Chris Rock broke down the actual factuals when he described the difference between being 'rich' and being wealthy'. C-Rock said that Shaq is rich, but the owner who signs his paycheck is wealthy. So the smart player should be wondering what he can do to either 1) become wealthy or 2) keep their owners happy so they can keep being rich. Seems to me that the HHNBA culture runs counter to either of those goals.

I believe it was that wise hip hop sage Kanye West who heard 'em say - 'Nothing's ever promised tomorrow today'. The Hip Hop NBA crew would do well to listen closely to that message and 'never send to know for whom the bell tolls it tolls for thee', homey - it tolls for thee.

Can I get a witness?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone