Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Ken Lay Dead - is Kells next?

Wassup, Y'all!

Man - miss a day and miss it all. My boy 'Tini Mack had to text me today in the basement to let me know that old Enron homey Kenneth 'Kenny Boy' Lay walked into the light from an apparent heart attack. Note that I said 'walked into the light' and not 'walked into the slammer' as it appears the pressure of an impending long a$ bid to Sing Sing and sleepless nights spent tossing salads (not the pleasant kind) got the better of his heart while on vacation with the fam. Based on the TALL number of homeys and homettes hurt by the Enron implosion he helped facilitate, Argentina shouldn't do too much crying for him but the news made me suddenly concerned for Peabody #1 - R. Kelly and whether the stress of his upcoming trial will have *him* walking into the light and slapping two final graham crackers on the Chocolate Factory. All I have to say to that is 'bet not! At least until he finishes up the next hip-hopera 'Trapped in the Closet' installment...

Now color me just a bit skeptical that Ken Lay's 'great gittin' up day' just happen to come just three months before his scheduled sentencing on jacking up Enron and running with the loot. Hmmm, as I've told my crew, I'm thinking Mrs. Lay helped him out a little with a syringe full of adrenaline to the heart just like in Million Dollar Baby. That way maybe she collects a Met Life policy while the government separates her from the rest of Kenny Boy's ill gotten gains.

Now the suicide watch is on for his partner in crime Jeff Skilling (aka Skillz). When the verdicts were handed down and both Lay and Skillz walked out to chat with the press, I was amazed by how calm each was with the expected outcome being life in prison once the sentencing came around. Skillz was all like - "well I'm disappointed with the outcome...blah, blah, blah". Disappointed with the outcome?? Dude - you're going to prison with Tossed Salad Man! If that was me and the judge foolishly let me remain free until sentencing, I'd be harder to find than Jimmy Hoffa, jack! Well now we know Kenny Boy had his plan all laid out. I'm expecting Skillz to show up in one of those extradition free countries any day now...

Which brings us back to Kells. What's that brother going to do if he's found guilty? I expect if that happens he'll be escorted straight to lock up to await sentencing per standard southside judicial treatment or get a Lil Kim type hook up from BET and get to star in his own 'Countdown to Lockdown' joint. We can always count on BET to exploit a bad situation and reward bad behavior. Of course, I'll have to check it out to do my proper reporting back to y'all, but that's my job. It's not pretty all the time, y'all. Better yet, maybe Court TV will hook me up with a press pass and let me blog from inside the courthouse. That way I can finally see that Kells P-TV video...



No comments: