Saturday, June 25, 2005

HBO's Entourage Dropped The Ball, Y'all...

Wassup, Y'all!

Summertime is when I sample new shows to see if they're worthy to move onto the regular Malone Zone TiVo rotation. Normally I'm pretty ruthless. If I'm not feeling a show after the first 15 minutes (30 if it has an 'intriguing' collection of sexy shortys...) then it's out - purged from the Season Pass list henceforth now and forever. The latest two shows to stand in judgement are HBO's The Comeback and Entourage - both on Sunday nights. While The Comeback is queued up for purging (despite *two* sexy shortys, neither of which is Lisa Kudrow - hit the link to check the actual factuals), Entourage caught my interest mainly because they could have taken a clue from old Tyrone, mixed in an urban vibe and made it sooooo much better...

To bring non Entourage viewers up to date, the show is about Vince Chase, a young guy from Queens, New York who makes a hit film and becomes a Hollywood star. Next thing you know, he and his boys (Eric and Turtle) and his brother Drama are living large in LA enjoying the spoils of being friends (or related to) someone young, rich and famous.

So I'm thinking hmmmm, who kicks an entourage better than the hip hop homeys? I mean MC Hammer's broke a** pretty much invented the entourage (and the now unwritten rule on keeping the total number in your entourage to 17,000 or less...). Come on HBO! That show could have gone from good to great by featuring a hip hop crew like Nelly and the St. Lunatics! I say this now after *finally* downloading their 'Tip Drill' music video (uncensored) after listening to all that woofin' about it from Donte and Big Mike over on 2 Guys 2 Cities (on point woofin' I might add...). Man, those boys were some straight heathens in that joint. Perfect for a cable outlet that props shows like Real Sex and Cathouse: The Series. You could have pulled in the south side crowd, the sex crowd, the hip hop crowd *and* the curious north side crowd. Man - do I have to do *everything*!! (Side Note: Even if Mo'Nique was standing on the San Andreas Fault during the Big One, there'd *still* be more a** shaking going on in that Tip Drill video! Wooooo. Although I have to admit, swiping a credit card through a shortys cheeks is a little over the top... Ladies, for pointers on the proper way to handle unsolicited a** play, take a page from my girl Pheebs who's never afraid to confront the issue directly...)

A weak second entourage choice would have to be Oprah and her crew. That would have been riviting television last week when they got the cold shoulder from the Hermes store employees when - just like south side folks - they tried to bust up in that mug after closing. Oprah immediately dropped the race card on that ruckus claiming it was
"one of the most humiliating moments of her life...". Wow - and I thought getting laid out in dirt in the Color Purple and then having the wind blow your skirt up topped that! Okay - cheap shot but old girl was *shopping*, y'all.

Anyway - if HBO doesn't swoop this idea, I'm going all Michael Moore and film my own Entourage documentary series about a fly hip-hop crew called Damn Heathens (shout out to Chingy!)...



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