Wake me in the fourth period, baby...

Wassup, Y'all!


"It's Wade at the buzzer...oh my God! What a game!!"
Yawn...the new NBA slogan should be 'You Snooze, You Lose!!'

Dude, what's up with the ABC/ESPN/TNT programming with the NBA playoffs this year? Including last night's off-the-hook, Game 5 OT thriller between the Mavs and the Heat, the NBA broke a record for the most OT games in the playoffs - ever. The product is hot but who can really enjoy it when even weekend games are broadcast at 9 pm ET - for an EAST COAST GAME!??

Now I may spend my days chillin' up in my mama's basement, but I know that most folks got to get up and go to work. How's that happening when these games end around 11:00 or 12:00 at night? Unlike those forward thinking European employers that will give their workers the next day off when their team is playing late in the World Cup, you know US companies aren't hearing that noise, jack! I miss seeing playoff games in the afternoon on weekends. It will be a damn shame if the Finals go to a Game 7 and we have to watch that joint unfold between gulps of Red Bull with espresso chasers.

ABC - get a clue!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Big Willy Style - Playin' both sides

Wassup, Y'all!

Straight from the Hater Files: Old Ty first hears of Big Willie dropping a quote regarding his feelings for his boo, Jada tailor made to make to the shortys swoon :

"You're so much stronger when your partner is strong. I honestly believe there is no woman for me but Jada. Of all the women I've met - and there've been a few - no one can handle me the way Jada does. Once you feel someone locked in on you, it's no contest. As fine as other women can be, as tempting sexually, I'm not going anywhere. This is it. I can't imagine what anyone else could offer."

Dude - blah, blah, blah...

Homeboys - can't you just hear draws droppin' all over the world as shortys eavesdrop on Will as he drops those pearls on his sweety? But just when you think Big Willie is back in the changing room trying on a lemon chiffon evening dress, he
discovers that he really does have testicles and drops some well thought out compliments for foine Bollywood shorty and actress Aishwarya Rai:

"I really wanted to work with her in Hitch (2005) but she was shooting for Bride and Prejudice (2004) at the time and she couldn't do it. She has this powerful energy where she doesn't have to say anything, do anything, she can just stand there. Anything she's making, I'll be there."

Big Willie - bet you didn't say that while Jada was still in the room. Dang - what's that mean for Eva Mendes (who actually did co-star with you in Hitch), homey? You mean to tell me that old girl was your second choice! Man, don't I want to be you when I grow up? Anyway with respect to shorty Aishwarya - when the time's right, give us a shout out, man! We'll be there too!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Kell's Sex Tape Going Public!

Wassup, Y'all!

Seems the judge presiding over the R. Kelly Child Pornography preliminaries ruled that it's okay for the public (aka those in open court) to peep the shenanigans depicted in the infamous R. Kelly sex tape (not be confused with the infamous Pam Anderson or Paris Hilton sex tapes - beware: those links are non PG-13 appropriate, y'all...) Hmmm, seems someone forgot to tell the judge that the tape is *already* public...

I don't think I know a single one of my homeys who hasn't seen it and somehow got a copy from a 'friend'. I'll admit that I *still* haven't seen that joint. Is it possible that old Ty has no friends? How sad is that? The consensus seems to be that it is R. Kelly peeing on doing the dirty with an underage shorty. I'm thinking a jury will see it the same way *if* this trial ever takes place. How long has this joint been pending? Even OJ's joint didn't take this long!! According to the actual factuals, the victim on the tape was 13 when the alledged event occurred. The article puts her at 21 now - eight years! I know that Kell's didn't enter his 'not guilty' plea until mid 2002 but it's going on mid 2006 now, y'all! And I thought only the Enron Boyz could pull off a delay like that...

Come on Chicago - Let's Get It started! Say it with me - No Justice, No Pee..ce!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Hip Hop NBA, Part Deux

Wassup, Y'all!

Just a quick follow up to my 4/25 post on the subtle and growing shift in the NBA to identify and draft foreign players as their frustation grows over trying to work with the American Hip-Hop B-Baller who typically arrives with underdeveloped fundamentals, overemphasized athleticism and a MC Hammer-sized entourage. Over on ESPN.com, league commish David Stern says he's 'appalled' over the state of the game. Oooo - pretty strong words that get stronger after the jump...

Seems D-Stern's feelings on the matter have gotten to the point where he's considering using the NBA clout to start developmental leagues in America similar to the European-style basketball factories that are cranking out more and more players that NBA GMs are desperate to bust a slob over.

D-Stern's feelings were a little hard to read given this quote:

"The roster of NBA teams is going to be enriched by huge numbers of international players, and it's going to happen."

Wow - if you've got that statement coming out of the league Commissioner's mug, I'd be a little nervous if I was a biddy-bop, neighborhood baller, faking like I was D-Wade and saying 'All day, baby. All day." everytime I dropped a shot over my boy in the driveway.

It's no doubt that stories like this ESPN joint will become more common and the league will undergo a fundamental change - no doubt. It already has - *two* Frenchmen in the NBA playoffs (Tony Parker and Boris Diaw) - Sacre Bleu! A German being the most dominant big man in a finals that also features Shaquille O'Neal? Ach du lieber!

Have no fear - it will all settle out in the end with the end result being a return to fundamental American basketball which will result in a better, more exciting product on the floor. As with most things - competition is good. But make no mistake, my southside, b-ball homeys - school is definitely back in session in the NBA.

Shaq - free throw practice is calling brother...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Pause for the Cause

Wassup, Y'all!


A Memorial Day PSA for you to ponder while you're trying to get your weekend NBA Playoff b-ball, down home BBQ'ing, three day holiday groove on. Remember just why there is a Memorial Day holiday. If you're kinda hazy on this, check here and more importantly, here and recognize...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

X-Men 3: Ty and 'Tini's Day Off

Wassup, Y'all!

Decided to dip into the theater yesterday afternoon with my boy 'Tini Mack to take in the latest X-Men offering, X-Men: The Last Stand.

We entered the 120,000 screen polygaplex with high hopes and copious snacks and left agreeing on a couple points, the main one being how sexy Halle Berry's walk was so you can pretty much see where this review is heading...

Before I get to X-Men Trey, I have to take a second to prop one of the previews they showed before the main event. I have to say if the movie lives up to the trailer, The Decent looks like an off-the-hook horror flick. Apparently this is one of those flip-the-script movies that was made in the UK and has been out in the UK long enough for it to already be on DVD well before its debut in the US. It's due to bow here in August and I'm thinking I need to be front row and center for that bad boy. Check out the review and trailer (unfortunately not the one they showed in the theater when I saw it) to see what a brother is talking about...

Now back to X-Men 3 - we also both agreed that the story didn't hold up to either the first or second installments but the F/X and action were predictably off the hook. Our feelings about it matched up pretty well with the jibber-jabber going on over at Rottentomatoes.com for X-Men 3 - tasty yet not completely satisfying - Halle's head swiviling walk notwithstanding, y'all. Man the fellas could sit on the stairs in the X-Mansion and just watch her walk by all day long...but I digress.

One thing I liked about the comic book vs. the movie is the way the comic could portray the human/mutant racial (species) tension and make it seem possible. In the movie, you're left just thinking that with all the different powers the mutants have they could just alleviate all that tension by just wiping out the humans. No muss, no fuss. I guess that's where 'good' mutants come in but how good can you be if you're always getting viewed and treated like a second class citizen? That's something to ponder as all these immigration debates rage on...

Anyway, me and 'Tini agreed that we couldn't bestow more than 2 Spinners on this bad boy and a 4 on the Homeboy Movie Viewing Scale. Nothing special (outside of the off-the-hook F/X). Wonder if the digital F/X boys had anything to do with Halle's walk??

Also a couple tidbits before I go - be sure to stay until after the credits roll to catch a final scene that will presumably set up X-Men 4 and for you 24 fans out there, note that the female doctor who is seen describing the mutant 'cure' and trying to inject Angel with it is none other than our girl Shohreh Aghdashloo (Dina Araz) from last season. Remember she played the mom in the terrorist family? I had her accent pegged from jump street but couldn't place it until after we had rolled up out of that joint. It's a minor role and not much screen time - I guess the curse of Academy Award Best Supporting Actor/Actress nominees continues. Shoot - for that matter it continues for the winners as well. What the heck has Cuba Gooding Jr. done lately? Joe Pesci? Mira Sorvino? Hmmm, guess all that glitters isn't gold when it comes to *those* Oscars...

Come back, Cuba. We miss you, brother...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Wayans Bros Little Man Larceny...

Wassup, Y'all!


If you're watching the NBA Playoffs on TNT, you've no doubt seen the trailer to the upcoming Wayans brothers flick - Little Man. I have to admit that joint looks pretty funny and the F/X they used to make Marlon Wayans look little like that is off the hook, but come on now! They stole that concept straight from Bugs Bunny, y'all! How low can you go. Now I've been a BB fan from way back so I spotted the similarity right away. I was all like - Yo they got that ruckus from that Baby Face Finster episode!...

Tell me I'm lying - check out this glossy. Man, they duplicated this exact scene in the trailer they're showing. Man, it's a dark day when you have to jack Looney Tunes for your material!

On a little lighter note, I noticed that Cinematical posted the trailer for Dreamgirls that the production company used at the Cannes Film Festival. It's a mix of trailer clips and background interviews. It's pretty good - I'm looking forward to seeing that flick. I wonder if Jigga's gonna be on the soundtrack?? :-)

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Cold Cash....

Wassup, Y'all!

Dang - you know you're up to some dirty when the congressional Republicans are up in arms about the treatment of a Democratic congressman at the hands of the FBI! Such is the strange state of affairs of southside congressman William J. Jefferson (D-LA) whom the FBI proports to have the goods on. It seems those rascally Republicans aren't so much up in arms that the FBI raided old boy's cribs in D.C. and The Big Easy, but the fact that they raided his *congressional* office without warning. Oh snap! Think the Repubs are hiding anything incriminating in their own congressional offices? I'm speculation that's really where Jimmy Hoffa is stashed since their belief seems to be that congressional offices are soverign territory similar to the foreign embassies in D.C....

At any rate, Bill Jeff seems to be playing his own game of Clue with the FBI - "It was Bill Jeff, in the kitchen, with $100 G's in the freezer!" At least that's how it's being reported. To wit - old boy was recorded taking a briefcase which alledgedly contained $100 G's. Later back at the ranch, the FBI alledges that they found $90 G's broken up into $10 G packets stashed in tin foil and Tupperware in Bill Jeff's Frigidaire.

Dang - I know there's at least one happy, blonde escort in D.C. trying to figure out how much of the $10,000 she'll have left over if she spends $1,000 on a new pocket dog... But I digress. A friend of mine once gave old Tyrone some sage advice that went a little something like this: "If you get caught in a lie, just deny" (no, it wasn't Jesse, y'all) meaning that until you actually admit you did it, no one will know for sure. Clearly Bill Jeff overheard this conversation and is trying that advice out for a spin. I know, I know - innocent until *proven* guilty but it seems kind of silly for a powerful congressman to need to keep that kind of cash wrapped in a freezer like yesterday's leftovers. That's what banks are for (unless old boy's old skool like my grandmama who was proud to point to her Public Enemy 'Can't Truss It' T-shirt when asked about any institution run by anyone but her - Grandma! You think those tomatos at the Safeway are any good? No - you can't truss no tomatos you don't pull out your own garden, baby...).

I'm thinking things look a little dark for Bill Jeff at the moment, but you never know. In the meantime, I wonder if the Reynold's Wrap folks added this to their list of novel uses for aluminum foil? Man, what doesn't that stuff do?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

LeBron: Ghost of Christmas Past?

Wassup, Y'all!

When do you cross the line between competitor and school yard chump? Okay, chump may be a little strong for 'King James' but after two petty 'school yard' moves LeBron James dropped in the Cavs' last two series, I have to wonder just how mature this 21 year old is...

School Yard Play #1 - talking Smack to Gilbert Arenas before both game ending free throws (which Arenas missed opening the door for the Cavs to close out the game and the series). Man, we used to do that ruckus on the elementary school playgrounds, but the NBA? What happened to good sportsmanship and letting a brother play without some mind games?

And speaking of sportsmanship, that leads me to School Yard Play #2 - at the end of Game 7 against the Pistons, LeBron just walks off the court without shaking hands a la Isiah Thomas when the Bulls finally broke through and went to the finals following Game 5 of the '90-'91 Eastern Conference Finals choosing to just walk off the floor like a little girl. What's up with that? I guess LeBron was watching a little 'classic NBA' on the NBA channel and decided to wear the dress he inherited from Isiah. Dude - shake some hands and show some respect. It's one thing not to want to see another team celebrate their win on your floor but Game 7 at the Palace and you can't give out some propers? That's whack, homey.

Can I get a Witness, LeBron?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Kobe Dick

Wassup, Y'all!

Okay, okay don't get your panties all bunched up about this blog title. Y'all know as well as I do that Kobe Bryant (post Eagle, Colorado and Laker championship squad blow up) is a very polarizing homeboy these days. There are only two camps - you love him or you hate him. Ol Tyrone finds himself in the 'Hate 'em' (or is that hater??) camp and no more so than after his mean mugging, fist pumping, jersey popping, and stagger swaggering during the Lakers' first round series with the Phoenix Suns. Now don't get it twisted, I've got no love for those streaky Suns either but I have to admit that series did make me a big fan of Raja Bell (the fact that he used to play for my boyz the Sixers is besides the point...) - that and the fact that he keeps showing up big in the playoffs to date...

That Lakers/Suns Game 5 clothes line yoke that he put on Kobe after getting elbowed in the face for the 22nd time was an all-time classic. Course, there was Kobe picking himself up off the floor with that crackhead smirk, making an obvious gesture that he was just brushing off that Hall of Fame yolk but what pissed me off more were his post game comments about Bell:

"Does he know me? Do I know this guy? I don't know this guy," Bryant said. "I might have said one word to this guy. I don't know this kid. I think he overreacts to stuff.

"We go out there, we play, and when we play during the season, we play each other. That's it. I don't know this kid. I don't need to know this kid. I don't want to. We go out there, we play the game and leave it at that. Maybe he wasn't hugged enough as a kid. I look at him a little bit, he gets a little insecure or something. I don't know."

Baltimore Sun sports columnist David Steele wrote a tight commentary about the incident and the fact that if Kobe 'doesn't know' Bell, he might need to get checked out for early onset Alzheimers. The two have a history and if I were Bell (especially after hitting that insane three in Game 5 of the Suns/Clippers series to put the game into double OT), I'd be wearing a shirt with a glossy of Kobe going down at the end of that yolk and the words: "Know me now? How's the vacation going?" or since it seems we have the makings of a must see match up next season everytime the Lakers and the Suns lace 'em up, he could just paraphrase that line from The Game's "Hate It or Love It" cut - "...I ain't going nowhere so you can get to know me."

Still don't know Raja Bell, Kob? It's pretty easy - all you have to do is turn on the TV, homey.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone