Thursday, December 09, 2004

It's a Given - Robin Dodges Bullet

Wassup, Y'all!

Caught an article flying across the wire that I just had to comment on. Old girl Robin Givens is back in the news, y'all! Actually she's been creeping back bit by bit as I caught her Oprah a week or two ago. I had to hop into Peabody's Wayback Machine to pull up a relevant glossy of the black Shannon Doherty. To wit...

Robin Givens Tyson

Y'all readers up on your current events will remember that earlier this year shorty Robin was kicking it in her 2000 Mercedes SUV (likely preoccupied with thoughts of how to get her career back on track) when she mowed down an 89 year old lady easing on down the crosswalk. Smacked her down, y'all. Old girl (literally) nearly lost a foot in that vehicular beat down. Side note #1: Apparently Robin, Halle and Lizzie Grubman took their driving lessons from the same whack driving school - Harry's Hit & Run (Side note #2: common thread here seems to be small women and large SUVs, hmmmm). Shorty Robin had to be flagged down before noticing she had dropped old girl. Anyway, good news rolled in for shorty Robin today, y'all - all charges dismissed (twice)! Now let's review how that occurred shall we? #1) Ticketing officers did not witness the mow down, #2) Civilian witness who did witness the crime did not appear in court, #3) Apparently old girl who got mowed down ain't talking. Come on now! Y'all know Mike Tyson's fingerprints are all over this!! I maintain Robin is still answering those 2 AM booty calls cuz anybody who's anybody knows that if you want someone intimidated, Mike's your man, man. Ahhhh, justice in America... Moral of the story - Shorty + SUV = run for your damn life!

Now if I may digress back in to my angry political persona - man, I just had to laugh at Rummy's chat with the troops on Wednesday. D-Rum was in Kuwait for a meet & greet with American's Finest and got put on the hot seat real quick about why the 'boots on the ground' had to scramble to find their own armament for their Humvees before the Pentagon stepped in. His reply:

You go to war with the Army you have." - D-Rum

Hmmm, if I'm not mistaken GW and the Boyz chose when we went to war. We weren't in immediate danger here on the homefront so it stands to reason that we could have at least waited until we did have the humvees outfitted. But don't worry, y'all, D-Rum said the Pentagon was "working to purchase more armament for the humvees". Hat's off for Rummy! Chances may be good that it will arrive before our tally of wounded hits 10,000. Once again, y'all, it's another brisk lesson from GW's Cold School. That just doesn't make any damn sense, but then again I hail from a Blue State.

Uh Oh - think I hear someone outside the windows, y'all! Might be that Red State hit squad (Side note #3: weren't red states associated with communism at one point?). I'm out!



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