Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Rumsfeld - The Real Teflon Don

Wassup, Y'all!

Man - what's it gonna take? Does D-Rum have to get caught red handed passing our nuclear launch code to North Korea or what? If I know our boy GW, he'd figure out a way to put a positive spin on that nonsense as well. After mismanaging and misrepresenting the aftermath of the war we all find out that now D-Rum doesn't even have time to personally sign the notification letters to the families of those killed in action...

Last weekend on "This Week with George Snuffluphagus" GW's Chief of Staff Andy Card gave the following glowing assessment of D-Rum's performance (this prior to the letter signing dust up but following the Army's announcement that it was putting getting all military vehicles armored on the fast track - finally!)

"Secretary Rumsfeld is doing a spectacular job." - Andy "Hallmark" Card

After hearing that, I'm thinking - "Okay, Hallmark probably didn't get the 'D-Rum's got to go memo'". I'm sure GW will spend some of the 'Political Capital' he earned to deep six D-Rum! But lo and behold, a couple days later, GW shocks the world and 1) actually holds a press conference, 2) manages to walk out on stage and 3) gives D-Rum some ill gotten propers!! To wit:

"I believe he's doing a really fine job." - GW

GW was a little cagey throwing in a hedge phrase like 'I believe' and I can see a future scenario when D-Rum is finally shoved out the door and GW reshapes his statement by saying 'What you belive and what you know are two different things. There was a time when I believed , based on the same intelligence you all have seen, that Secretary Rumsfeld was doing a fine job. However, it's been brought to my attention that Don Rumsfeld's job performance is just a dog's hair north of extremely pi*s poor. ' In fact, I think Hallmark Card's comment was misconstrued as well. I believe he was using the word 'spectacular' in the literal sense as in 'a spectacular crash at the Daytona Speedway' or 'the spectacular cataclysm of an asteroid hitting the earth'. Something like that there, y'all.

In closing let me leave y'all with a final quote from GW after he glossed over D-Rum and glossed over his flameout nomination of Bernie "Little Gotti" Kerik. When asked who he planned to nominate next for the new role of Director of National Intelligence GW said simply:

"I'm going to find someone who knows something about intelligence." - GW

Dang, another job GW's not qualified for...



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