Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Oprah - commitment issues?

Wassup, Y'all!

You know I was browsing through the magazine rack just the other day looking for column material and there's no way you can avoid eventually running into O - The Oprah Magazine and a brother just has to think to himself "Dang Oprah - can't you let just one fine shorty grace your cover?". I know it's her magazine and all but that joint has got to be the ultimate vanity vehicle with her mug showing up on every cover. That got me thinking about the Oprah phenomenon in general and the central question as our boy Stedman suffers in silence - how come nobody ever talks about Oprah's commitment issue? If the tables were turned and Stedman was the billion dollar talk show host who was famously shacking up with Oprah, you have to know that every sister in America would be questioning just what was taking him so long to pop the question!

They'd be having satellite linked "Stedman Ain't Sh**" parties and filling message boards on how a brother could be so low as to string a woman along for years like that. But flip the script and everyone knows it's Oprah playing the dog role and nary a peep is heard about it. Don't get me wrong, y'all. Oprah's good peoples and puts her money where her mouth is but come on now! Y'all know Stedman would have had a brick thrown at him by now. Ahhhh, the female double standard....

Previously I'd mentioned a return to our national network UPN (sorry BET!) so here we go. First, a "too bad, so sad" goes out to our favorite TV couple Boris Kodjoe and Nichole Parker (shorty extraordinaire). Word is UPN won't be picking up their show "Second Time Around" for renewal... I have to admit I didn't even make it the first time around to that joint although I liked them both in Showtime's "Soul Food" (but nobody plays Terrie Joseph like my girl Vanessa Williams). On a happy note, Kevin Hill did make the cut and should see another season. For my thoughts on KH, check my December 1st column. The reason I've chosen UPN as our national network is because, without fail, its shows rate among the highest viewed in black households. Currently, UPN's "Girlfriends" hold the slot as top rated black show (how is this possible with Tyra showing up weekly on the same network in Top Model?) Girlfriends!?? In fact, the top five most watch shows by black America are UPN shows (Girlfriends, Half and Half, Second Time Around (what?), One on One and Eve). Where's that Cosby clone "My Wife and Kids"? What no Bernie Mac? Showtime at the Apollo? Julia? What I find interesting is that none of those top five shows is anywhere close to the top ten broadcast shows nationally. Nationally, "CSI: Miami is #2". Now you haven't heard any plans not to renew that show have you? Course not. But the #2 rated black show - "Second Time Around" is headed for that old sitcom recycle bin in the sky. And you wonder why we have a higher instance of high blood pressure. It ain't fair, y'all! Nichole is too hot to go down without a fight!

So I'm on my Save Nichole crusade, y'all. To get the male vote, I proffer the following glossy:

Nicole Parker

Come on now, y'all! Would you rather look at Nicole or an autopsy of a five day old corpse fished out of the Everglades? I rest my case! Get to writing those letters!


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