Wednesday, December 10, 2008

F-Rod: Illinois Goes from Obama High to New Low

Wassup, Y'all!

Man - just when Illy was gettin' some positive, Smooth Barack related press along comes Rod 'Tony Soprano' Blagojevich to help it reclaim its title as one of the most policially corrupt states in the Union. You got to give it up to F(**k)-Rod - homey was swingin' for the fences behind in the count 0-2, but obviously cousin didn't watch those 'Soprano' or 'The Wire' episodes too closely or he wouldn't have been jibber-jabbering out of school over compromised phone lines.

Now instead of featherin' his post governor nest with a ton of ill-gotten paper, he'll likely be headed for a cell next to our former corrupt Governor George Ryan (unless he gets his sentence commuted by GW on his way out the door). Seems to me, now that F-Rod has established a new bottom for blatent corruption, ol Ty would have to say that won't help Ryan's case out too much. If I'd have know that Smooth's Senate seat was up for sale, I'd have tossed my hat into the ring too. I got a couple homeys who would have staked me - even have a couple suits too...

I can't believe that F-Rod was mixin' Smooth's name in all that foul language. Motherf****r this, f**k that. A potty mouth like that will fit in very nicely in federal prison - especially once Tossed Salad Man shows up with his jar of Smucker Grape Jelly. The irony is that once he goes to prison, his pardon request will have to go through Smooth. That's what writers call 'delicious irony', y'all. It doesn't get more tasty than that, but given Smooth's 'turn the other cheek, 'team of rivals'' attitude you'd have to wonder if ol boy just might consider that kind of madness. But that's Smooth. Ol Ty? F-Rod's a$$ would be on the next flight down to Guantanemo for some daily waterboarding until he could correctly answer the question, 'Who's your daddy now?' But that's just me, y'all.

Anyway, this should be some good theater watching all this play out. It must have been wild to be F-Rod yesterday - wakin' up a state governor with about 70 money making irons in the fire and going to bed last night national public enemy #1 and wishing it was Monday again. F**k that, F-Rod. Like my main man Sammy Davis, Jr. used to sing before every episode of 'Baretta' - 'Don't to the criiiiiime, if you can't do the time'. See you on Court TV, homey!

In the meantime - Jesse Jr.! You bet not be Senate Candidate #5! And there's about one guy I'd like to see as the next governor of Illinois - U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald - the last Boy Scout. All ol boy ever does is his job. Can't ask for more.



No comments: