Monday, December 01, 2008

It Was Plaxico, In His Pants, With The Revolver

Wassup, Y'all!

In the perfect companion piece to my 'Was it Marvin, At The Club, With The Belgian Gun?' post - a well written summary of Indianpolis Colts wide reciever Marvin Harrison's shadowy involvement in a nightclub shooting - we now have Knucklehead #1 Plaxico Burress apparently gettin' all medieval with himself by fumblin' a gun in his pants and accidently shooting a hole in his thigh (hence the Texico The Clown glossy at right). Quit laughin', y'all - that ain't right.

Maybe Texico didn't know that every gun comes with a safety which, when engaged, will prevent your dumb a$$ from shootin' a hole in your thigh if you should fumble your gat in your pants. And maybe Texico also didn't know that in New York, if you have no permit for your gat and you carry it around all concealed like that you're lookin' at a mandatory 3 1/2 year bid. Looks like ol Ty may have to put up a new countdown clock next to Mike Vick's (y'all notice I refused to put up a T.I. count down clock least I get a silent cap popped in my a$$)....

Now callin' Texico an idiot would be unkind to the idiot. The idiot is just, well, an idiot. Texico is the idiot who just signed a $35 million dollar contract at the beginning of the season (after playin' hurt the entire '08 season and pullin' down the Superbowl winning touchdown), spent most of the season being ineffective (why not? Dude already signed the new contract), then decided that rollin' to a club with a concealed weapon and shootin' himself in the thigh was a lot better than being a starting NFL player with a $35 million dollar contract. I have to respectfully disagree. I'll admit it's a pretty tough choice but ol Ty would probably opt to get his moves on in the NFL and spend the fiddy-three mil on a world wide travelin' spree during the off-season. But that's just me. Clearly southside homeys with 'X's in their names from Norfolk prefer the late night club ruckus and bullet holes in their thighs (and, I admit, some pretty good seafood).

*Sigh* In the end, Texico couldn't even catch a gun in his pants. Looks like his last catch may be a 3 1/2 year bid. Go long, Texico! Go looooooong!



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