Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Beauty is only skin deep...

Wassup, Y'all!

A few weeks ago, old Tyrone made much ado about Seal’s proposal to Heidi Klum. I alluded to how Seal was “swinging for the fences” a baseball term which means you’re going for it all – trying to crack a homerun over the centerfield fence. At Usher’s private Grammy after-party (missed my invite again this year, y’all), I noticed a couple things: 1) The only acceptable bling these days is platinum encrusted diamonds (aka ‘frost’) – gold is played out (even gold teeth are falling by the wayside and whoever thought we’d be saying that about the hip-hop scene?) and 2) there were a couple other “fence swinging” brothers in attendance...namely Jay-Z (kicking it with 9.2 Daamn Meter Shorty Beyonce) and Jermaine Dupri (kicking it with 8.1 Daamn Meter shorty, Janet Jackson).

Whilst sipping my Crystal/Crunk Juice designer mix at the bar, I’m wondering “How do these brothers pull it off?” Is it their money? Their creativity? That whole “shortys love bad boys/thugs/soldiers” thing (and someone still has to explain that phenomenon to me)? How does that whole Beauty and the Beast deal happen (side note: Jay-Z – Jermaine, I ain’t trying to crack – I’m just saying…)? I have to give props to both Janet and Beyonce for steppin’ beyond the expected and delving below the superficial. Regardless of their reasons, in the entertainment business your only goal is to look good – from your gear (Versace, Vera Wang, Manolo, Jimmy Choo) to your bling, to your arm candy – so clearly those sisters are making a statement. I’ll drop a couple glossies and you tell me what statement they’re making…

Janet and Jermaine

Jay-Z and Beyonce

Come on now!

J-Lo Redux: Word is that our girl J-To-The-L-O is dodging her European press duties for her movie “Shall We Dance?” and dipping out on her European album concert tour due to “illness” despite the fact that old girl looked foine at the Grammy’s crooning with her short shelf life boo Marc Anthony. If you’re wondering why MA is on the ‘short shelf life’ tip, check out the insightful comment by the intrepid Phoebe Fabulous on my February 11th column. You can see it coming, y’all. First bailing on Europe, can bailing on M-Ant be too far behind? Those 3-1 British bookmaker odds that J-Lo will be back on the prowl by year’s end aren’t lookin’ so bad… But as they say fellas – When one door closes another door opens. To wit, former Miss Universe shorty Dayanara Torres - the one M-Ant let get away – is now collecting resumes for the position of ‘my next man’.

Dayanara Torres - Available

Next year that boy’s gonna look pretty foolish with both J-Lo and Dayanara roaming the world free and he’s stuck with whack a**Rosy Palms



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