Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Serena, Anna & Maria: Tennis Anyone?

Wassup, Y'all!

In light of Serena Williams' Australian Open victory over up and coming Maria Sharapova (and in light of the fact that a bogus picture of Serena in a thong generated more web traffic in a day than all the traffic directed toward the tennis action), I thought it only prudent to examine just what it is that folks are looking for when they tune in. They sure ain't looking for tennis, y'all....

Let's examine this issue further:

Anna, Serena & Maria

I submit Exhibit A - a multi-glossy of the Holy Trinity of women's tennis - Anna Kournakova, Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova. Come on, now! Clearly style on the women's circuit has outgrown substance. I sure don't remember glossies like these of Martina (Navratolova - not the little Swiss Miss Martina Hingis who's angling for a comeback), Billy Jean King and Chris Evert. Man, I don't care what your primary vocation is nowadays everybody is looking to cross over. Rappers want to get into movies, movie stars want to rap (or write children's books), models want to be business women and women tennis players want to be models. Well don't worry, y'all. I just want to be plain old me...and maybe an extra on some of those hip hop videos with all those rump shakers (shallow I admit). Well based Exhibit A, those three can stroll the catwalk any time... WNBA and LPGA take note! This is how you build an audience, y'all.

Boycott Smart Brother! Sorry 'bout that fool, y'all. He talked to me about writing a column about Foxy Brown and I fell for it! Firefox-y Brown! That's just why that brother can't get a date. I'm here to tell you the good news. The movie character Foxy Brown is heading back to the screen starring none other than the ex Mrs. Eric Benet Halle Berry. That's right, y'all - due out this year and ready to mesmerize a whole new generation of brothers just like the original, often imitated, never duplicated Pam Grier. Only thing better would be to get them both on the screen at the same time - wooooo. Sometimes those Hollywood executives responsible for green lighting movies can actually do it right, y'all!



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