NAACP! What's up with the 2007 Heat Index?

Wassup, Y'all!

I demand a recount! USA Today is pubbin' their 2007 Heat Index which 'chronicles weekly gossip magazine, TV ratings and Web traffic to see which celebrities were getting the most attention'. The first southsider, Oprah Winfrey' clocks in at #17! That's one spot before Tom and Katie's crumb snatcher Suri Cruise and well behind such celebrity knuckleheads as Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and list number one - Brickny. Way down in the Top 50 list is Kanye West (one spot above perennial knucklehead OJ Simpson) and interestingly Brad and Angelina's natural born daughter Shiloh somehow managed to come in well above Angelina's first adopted daughter Zahara...hmmmm. I'm not sayin' y'all - I'm just sayin'. Is the NAACP on holiday or what?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Will Smith, Adolf and a trippin' JDL

Wassup, Y'all!

Holy Jewish Black Panthers, Batman! Big Willy Style is still feeling heat from the Jewish Defense League which apparently takes it's role as seriously as the Black Panthers once took theirs. Big Willy was recently quoted saying, "Even Hitler didn't wake up going, 'let me do the most evil thing I can do today.' I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good." Of course, 'Hitler', like the N-word is a political third rail - only to be uttered with the greatest of caution and best of intentions. Clearly, it's not like Big Willy was praising Hitler in any way, yet in a twisted 'Whisper Down The Lane' effect, his quote got his a$$ into hot water anyway...

About two seconds later, celebrity gossip websites were posting that Big Willy thought that Hitler was a good cat. Big Willy, who has taken focused pains to cultivate both his image and his career, immediately snapped back with a well put "It is an awful and disgusting lie. It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen. I am incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such ludicrous misinterpretation. Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet"

Hmmm...sounds good enough for ol Ty and apparently it was good enough for the more mainstream Jewish Anti-Defamation League (ADL). They heard his statement, said they were cool with it and called it day. The more militant Jewish Defense League, however, preferred to keep this nonsense brewing by issuing a backhanded slap across Big Willy's neck.

At any rate, I think it's safe to say that Big Willy will steer clear of any Hitler references in the future, just as northsiders should probably steer clear of any discussions of genetic intelligence difference between races or justifications for hanging nooses from trees. There are always better arguments to be made elsewhere with better, less emotionally charged examples. That fact is colorblind.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Happy Boxing Day

Wassup, Y'all!

Happy holidays! I'm finally settled in my auntie's basement in FL and managed to survive Christmas without a scratch. The fam was overly generous this year (mama kicked in four months free rent!) so Ol Ty will be outfittin' my Chicago basement pad with a few new gadgets once I figure out what they'll be. Perhaps one should be one of those cloning machines like the one in the movie 'Multiplicity'. That would be handy so I could work for the man *and* chill up in the basement writing. Of course the clone would be doin' the working. Speaking of which, I notice my Holiday's of The World calandar says that today is 'Boxing Day' - a UK centric holiday where employers give their employees gifts...

We all know that these days employers tend to think that your job is their gift to you but that kind of thinkin' remains straight tacky. However, this does have me ponderin' whether the colonial northsiders ever celebrated Boxing Day with their slave southsiders here in the U.S.? You know, since the founding fathers did come from the UK and all. Somehow I doubt it, but I'll need to dig into the national basement archives to see what the actual factuals are on that.

In the meantime, I hope y'all got what you were lookin' for yesterday and that you're enjoying a little downtime before the rat race begins again on January 2nd. Thanks for all of your reading time and comments over the past year!!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

'Boondocks' McGruder to start more ruckus

Wassup, Y'all!


The Hollywood Reporter dropped some new actual factuals about my boy Aaron McGruder, creater of the comic series The Boondocks. Malone Zone regulars already know that I'm a big Boondocks fan (despite their profilic use of the N-word which I can do without, but it's southside satire at its best...). The Boondocks is adult, racially charged satire so it only airs on FX's Adult Swim so the audience it limited. Now it appears A-Mac will 'create and write a live-action series out of his shingle Partner Rumble Studio'....

The outlet for his new joint, 'The Super Rumble Mixshow', will be the online comedy outlet 'Super Deluxe' so that will also be limited (but it's still world-wide since it's 'Net based), but homey wants to get his brand of humor to the masses a little more quickly than he can through his Boondocks vehicle since that animation process can take up to 19-20 months. I can attest to that since it took homey forever and a day to get Season Two of The Boondocks out!

I'm anxious to see what homey plans to brew up as his comedy is always topical and on point. I'm happy to hear that he plans to use some of the same voice talent that he uses for The Boondocks, a list that includes Regina King, John Witherspoon, Kat Williams and Samuel L. Jackson. You already know that joint is gonna be funny when one of the skits will feature John Witherspoon answering viewers questions in 'a recurring skit dubbed "Negrology"'.

See, if they had a course like Negrology in high school, I wouldn't still be up in my mama's basement! Always a day late and a dollar short. Anyway, I haven't seen a debut date yet, but I'll holler back when I .

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Wesley Snipes to IRS: Don't Hate

Wassup, Y'all!

Man, when is that fool gonna quit? If y'all aren't up to speed on Daywalker Wesley Snipes issues with Gangster Sam, check my October and November posts on it. Now, homey is finally back in country and out of the crypt complaining that the real reason the IRS is on his case is because he's black. Dummy! Even my niece Lollipop knows the *only* color Gangster Sam cares about is Benjamin GREEN...

I've said it million times, y'all. We need to stop cryin' wolf on the race thing every time we get in some trouble we brought on ourselves. You know what Gangster Sam is hatin' on Wesley? How 'bout the fact you didn't file a return for six years? Or maybe when you did decide to pay your taxes you tried to pay with $14 million in bogus checks? Or perhaps tryin' to skip out on $12 million in taxes by filing false refund claims?

I know, I know. You didn't know a thing about it since your accountant was doing it for you, but as I said before, I'm pretty sure you do have to SIGN YOUR OWN RETURN no matter who does it for you. Pretty simple just to read that bad boy, first.

Dude, here's Ty's simple motto when it comes to things like this:

'Own up. Pay up. Shut up.'

It's not quite Veni, vidi, vici but that's how we roll in Chicago...except for R. Kelly...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

'Tini Mack To Thank or To Blame

Wassup, Y'all!

Long time Malone Zone readers will remember a comment posted way back by Urban Eye regular 'Tini Mack. My boy 'Tini - known for his custom martinis and frequent critical feedback - mentioned all the trouble he had to go through when following post links. Originally links would open in the same browser window forcing readers to follow the link, read the material, then click back to the post to continue. Oh the horror! That led to to hand editing the post HTML to ensure links opened in a new tab or window, but, those days may be done...

Now, thanks to a cool web service called Snap Shots, you don't even have to leave the page to follow most post links. When you move your pointer over a link, a summary box will pop up with the link content. There's a magnify icon on the top right that you can use to blow up the box so you can see things better if you need to *and* you still have the option of clicking in the box to get a full sized page in another tab or window. Very cool and you have 'Tini Mack to thank if you like it or to complain to if you don't. I'll post his email address shortly...

So now note that some links have a little balloon behind them like this sample link to Sean Kingston's new video 'Take You There'. Try it, you'll like it. Yes, y'all - it's all good...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Cynthia McKinney Running for Prez

Wassup, Y'all!

When we last caught up with sister Cynthia McKinney, ol girl was getting booted out of her Georgia congressional seat and battlin' major 'do problems after deciding to undo her braids after 10 years. Well now word has reached the basement by way of Skeptical Brotha that sister Cindy has finally tamed her 'do and decided to throw her weave into the ring and run for President of the United States as a Green Party candidate. You can pop over to her campaign website to see why you should waste cast your only vote for her this November...

Clearly this move has been prompted by sister Cindy's crafty analysis of the current crop of candidates and her deciding on a 'Barillary' approach where you try to combine the strengths of Smooth Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. However in sister Cindy's case, since she has neither the appeal of either of those candidates, she's only left with the 'I'm Black *and* female' approach which was already done all classy by Shirley Chisolm in '72 and a bit less so by Carol Mosley Braun in '04.

Here's ol Ty's thinkin' for sister Cindy. Give a run for U.S. Senate a shot first. If you can pull that off, THEN give a run for President a shot. Quit puttin' the cart before the horse, homegirl. And if you draw off any more of Smooth Barack's southside vote (since southsiders seem to be jockin' Hillary pretty tough too), I'm a know somethin'! We saw how that Green Party ruckus with Ralph Nader worked out for Al Gore in 2000...

How come some sisters just can't fade away gracefully?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Ty Nasty Alert: Hotel Drinking Glasses

Wassup, Y'all!

Yeah, this one caught me by surprise since I'm normally the first homey to clink some ice into a glass and start drinkin' when I hit my hotel room. Apparently, in many cases, those cute little white paper lids or plastic wrap over the tops of the glasses in the room are just window dressin' on glasses that have either been half cleaned (the old rinse and dry that Grandmama always does when she can't find the Dawn dish washing liquid...) or cleaned in the room with the same cleaner the chambermaids use to clean the bathroom fixtures (while using the same gloves)....

Say it with me, y'all: that's - straight nasty! Check the video but 1) make sure you've finished your breakfast and 2) make sure you aren't drinking out of a glass in your hotel room...


Don't Ever Drink From Hotel Glasses

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Revealing Donda West 911 Call

Wassup, Y'all!

I just listened to the Donda West 911 call that's burning up the web and that joint is disturbing. It's a textbook example of why we need to know some basic emergency skills like CPR (if you don't do anything else today hit that link!) and the number one skill - don't panic. I know it's easier said than done but think about it - the reason you want to panic is because someone you care about is in serious distress but you also have to know that in that moment, you are likely going to be the only one who can help save that person or keep them alive until professional help arrives...

On the call there are at least two people in the room with Ms. West (one who ends up hyperventilating during the crisis) but it's clear that no one knows what to do despite the 911 operator's attempts to get them calm and organized. Of course there's no telling whether immediate on-site help would have saved Ms. West but after listening to the call, it's clear she got no real help from those around her during the most crucial time of her collapse.

The more ol Ty hear's about this story, the sadder it gets, y'all. It's a real tragedy.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Diddy Doin' Right

Wassup, Y'all!

I peeped a post over on Brown Sista about the party Diddy and Diddy ex, Kim Porter threw for her son Quincy. The party, dubbed the 'Stunna 16', featured Jermaine Dupri, Omarion, Bow Wow and Chris Brown among others and gifts included a white '64 Lincoln. At first I'm thinkin' that doesn't make any damn sense for a 16 year old - sounds like that completely outrageous MTV 'My Super Sweet 16' nonsense that features some seriously spoiled kidz and their clueless parents piling over the top gifts on their ungrateful behinds. But, like always, there's more behind this story...

First, Quincy is Al B. Sure's son by Kim Porter. He's not Diddy's son, but Diddy's been Quincy's father figure since his Huggies days. Big ups to Diddy on that (despite the excessive spoilage going on at the 'Stunna' and a little Ty wonderment as to whether Diddy discipline involved any non-alcoholic champagne bottles, but I digress...). Which brings me back to Al B. Sure's whack a$$. Al B.! How you gonna front with a son that looks JUST LIKE YOU? Dude, that's triflin'. Get a clue, homey (and make sure your support payments are up to date - Quincy's gonna need a little gas money).

Peace@Least,

Tyrone