Dog Chapman: Where's The Surprise?

Wassup, Y'all!

Come on now! How many of you are actually surprised that Dog Chapman freely tosses around the N-word in everyday conversation? Anyone? Please. Funny thing with homeboy is that if you listen to his conversation, he actually realizes that the word has now become a virtual third rail for media careers - uttered at your peril - and ironically, the situation he feared would come to pass by his son dating a southside shorty has actually come to pass. Another golden goose cooked. Another lame azz apology launched...

Far more insidious are the suppositions of the northside intelligensia. When Dog talks, who's listening to that fool? But when a nobel laureate like James Watson - a man awarded the Nobel Prize for helping to 'reveal the secrets of DNA' - talks, far more people are willing to listen and lend credence to whatever he says. Like when he recently busted out the oldie but goody saw saying that "it's wrong to assume the intelligence of Africans is 'the same as ours.'" Yes, y'all holy William Shockley, Batman! Here we have another well respected northsider trying to infer that southsiders are genetically wired to be less intelligent than northsiders. If that's the case, I respectfully offer up Dog Chapman as southsider's People's Exhibit A.

Thankfully, Watson's own colleagues seem genuinely distressed about his ill stated comment. I'm assuming Dog's jailed colleagues in prisons around the nation will also be stepping forward and making similar statements in the days to come.

'Nuff said on this ruckus.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Monday's Thought: JD vs. JT

Wassup, Y'all!
Had to shout on this one right quick. I'm over on Black Voices mindin' my own business when I come across this quote from Jermaine Dupri about Justin Timberlake:

"I think Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. But he's very ordinary-looking. He could be any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando. You could go to the mall and find another Justin. He doesn't make his style interesting even when he's onstage. To me, he just doesn't look like a star."

Okay, first I'm not all up on the Justin bandwagon but I do have some of homeboy's cuts in my iPod rotation. Second, I know JD has a book to sell ('Young, Rich, and Dangerous') and when you're on your pub tour the book publishers like you throwing out provocative stuff to get folk's interest, BUT if you looked like JD, would you publicly talk about anyone else's look? Same would hold for Flava Flav. Class dismissed, y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Southside Family Christmas...in November

Wassup, Y'all!

Word came across the basement wire about a new holiday movie featuring a southside ensemble cast that looks off the hook. Now I'm not saying it will be a four Spinner joint but the thing I like about 'This Christmas' is that it can feature a southside ensemble cast and not be about barber shops, beauty shops, gold hearted thugs trying to reunite with their kidz, coal hearted thugs trying to make another dollar (American Gangster not withstanding - anything with Denzel is normally top shelf, y'all...), Soul Planes, Snakes on Planes, Booty Calls, Pootie Tangs or any other nonsense that leaves the impression that southsiders are knuckleheads. This joint - at least from the trailer (since Sony Pictures wouldn't accept my library card as a press pass with their tight azzes...) - looks like a normal comedy drama about a normal southside family coming together at Christmas and experiencing all the normal interactions families have when they get together for occasions. Excuse me while I say 'Ahhhhhhhhhhh' cuz that, basement dwellers, is pretty damn refreshing...

The cast is looking tight starting with my homegirl little Brenda Jenkens from 227. Regina King, in my opinion, is one of the most underrated actresses out there. From her joint as Rod Tidwell's wife in Jerry McGuire to her off the hook performance as Margie Hendricks in Ray, to her voice work on The Boondocks animated series. Granted, she has a tendency to shoot low on some scripts - like 'Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous' but as Malone Zone readers Ms. Go and Debo Blue pointed out on my Cuba Gooding, Jr. post, Tinseltown's not too kind to southside actors and Regina's got a mortgage to pay.

I also like chilly Delroy Lindo as I can say I've liked that brother in everything I've seen him in and Idris Elba is starting to make an impression on me since I caught him in Tyler Perry's 'Daddy's Little Girls'. He was a little weak in 28 Days Later but I see homeboy's got four films lined up for 2008-2009 so his agent is gettin' happy and ol boy's about to drop in the much anticipated American Gangster dropping on Friday.

I see the casting director also raided the cast of Stomp The Yard by also casting Chris Brown, Columbus Short and Laz Alonzo in this joint (dang - how'd Harry Lennix and Meagan Good get left out!?). Speaking of happy agents, I'm liking Chris Brown's acting game as well. That brother's got a ton of talent and charisma.


Now one sister I can do less of seeing is Loretta Devine. I'm not appreciating how she treated a brother on her role in Gray's Anatomy and I'm having trouble separating actress from character on that one y'all. In my peep of the movie trailer it looks to me like she's bringing that same one trick character along to her role of family matriarch Ma Dear (and she even stole that name from my boy Cat Daddy's Grandmama!). The other shortys in the movie look ready and able to stand in Regina's shadow and keep the homeboys minds off of Ma Dear.

I'm looking forward to checking this joint out and gettin' into the Christmas spirit. If any of y'all check it out, holler back and let ol Ty know your thoughts!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Cali Wildfires no help to Sinbad

Wassup, Y'all!

Talk about some bad luck! Wildfires are burning all over Cali - those joints even have the San Diego Chargers on the run - burning everything in sight, everything that is except for the California tax records. Things have gotten so bad with Cali tax collections that the state has taken to 'shaming' state tax cheats by publicizing who's been tight with their payments. It came as no surprise that OJ and Whitney's cousin Dionne Warwick made the list, but ol Ty had to pause for the cause when his boy Sinbad's name turned up...

Now y'all know how I feel about tax cheats! I've posted more than a few times on Wesley's and Ronnie's issues and I ain't feelin' neither one of those brothers. I may live in my mama's basement but I still pay my damn taxes. It's like those homeboys are stealin' out my mama's social security check (which helps pay for my internet access so indirectly it's like stealin' from ol Ty! Wesley! Ronnie! Y'all two are *still* some triflin' azzes!)

But I actually like Sinbad. Ever since ol boy was kickin' it on 'A Different World' and I saw his profanity free comedy concert. Y'all know me and profanity - you have to be creative in the rap and comedy game to go without and I appreciate all my creative homeys who go that extra mile. And don't get me started on those dope, now defunct, annual Soul Music Festivals (check that classic link with a glossy of Halle and Eric Benet. Man - where it all go so wrong...). You can't tell me that with all that money flowing through all those festivals, that Sinbad couldn't put enough away so he wouldn't have to be dodging the tax man!

Granted he's tippin out on a state tax bill (which already makes him smarter than Wesley or Ronnie who foolishly tried to steal from Gangster Sam), but still - $2.1 million dating back to 1999? That smells foul, y'all. That's comin out of somebody's mama's assistance check! Money she'll probably need to rebuild her burnt down house. All so Sinbad could buy a few more rounds of Grey Goose Martini's for some Caribbean island shortys? Dude - if your personality's not enough to get a shorty to consider doing the grown up with you - take it from ol Ty - keep on walkin!

So I'm a little bummed tonight y'all. A brother is conflicted over this one. I prefer to remember Sinbad as he once was and chalk this tax nonsense up to his alter ego David Adkins. Now David Adkins just sounds like a tax cheat, doesn't he?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

OJ about to get Vicked!

Wassup, Y'all!

I know you've been waiting on ol Ty to weigh in on the whole OJ deal. Well after listening to the wherefores and whatnots with my boyz 'Tini Mack and Cat Daddy and in the wake of recent news - there's no time like the present. First, to explain this post's title, word has reached the basement that the 2008 Spring issue of the Oxford Southside English Dictionary will feature the new slang verb, 'Vicked', which is defined thusly:

Transitive Verb - betray somebody: to do or say something harmful to somebody after pretending to be a friend. Usage: Dude - the po po is looking for you! Your boyz just vicked you!

Now it came as a small surprise that the original victim of vicking - Michael Vick - had some boyz with triflin' character (since he was their Golden Goose), but OJ's azz? Well now that brother should have seen his vicking coming from a mile away...

Tale of Two Knuckleheads - My boyz and I did some tall pontificating on OJ's recent troubles and we were quick to compare his reaction to a surprise 'Not Guilty' verdict to that of Tito's brother, Michael Jackson. In both cases there was a national uproar over both men's (applied loosely to M-Jac) acquittals in the face of what folks believed was overwhelming evidence. M-Jac's reaction? To beat feet, get the hell out of Dodge and settle into a lush lifestyle over in Dubai or Bahrain or wherever. Folks overseas still love his eccentric, soft spoken azz and he can still command top dollar for performing for the sheiks and their kids. This ploy also allowed him to deploy the patented 'out of sight, out of mind' oke-doke so he can slowly emerge down the road when the only question asked will be: Where the heck has that brother (applied loosely to M-Jac) been?

OJ, on the other hand, decided to go the other route. He decided to stay in the country, stay in the public eye and keep rubbin' it in everybody's face that he was free and could still do whatever he damn well pleased. The brother was so desperate to retain a shred of what he once had that he continued to play 'The Emperor Has No Clothes' role and fool himself that folks weren't waiting for his dumb azz to slip up again. Next thing you know he's conducting his own sting operation, busting into a hotel room with a crew of his boyz, acting all brody (see definition #2). All to steal back reclaim some sports memorabilia he claimed was his...so he could sell it undercover and not have to fork the money over to Fast Freddie Goldman who has made it his personal mission to vacuum every last available ducet from OJ's pocket to go satisfy the multi-million dollar civil judgement his family won. OJ could have been kicking it over in Dubai too - making money and letting Fast Freddie figure out how to get the cheddar through a foreign legal system. Did he? Nope - he pulled together a crew of boyz and ultimately ended up gettin' his dumb azz vicked.

Don't cry for him, Argentina! The truth is what goes around, comes around and stupid is as stupid does. It'd be funny if he ended up in the cell next to Mike Vick!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Ain't That Much Acting in the World

Wassup, Y'all!

First, sorry for being AWOL for so long. A brother's been distracted by a few things and needs to redevelop some focus, so while I got a little bit I thought I'd relate my view on acting, or more specifically, how Ol Ty could *never* kick it with a shorty actress. Now I'm not saying I'm the jealous type, but I can't say I'd be feelin' seeing some buster gettin' busy with my boo - I don't care how 'professional' they were about it. Anyway, word reached the basement recently that ex-spouses Rick Fox and Vanessa Willams are kicking it again on the set of ABC's Ugly Betty! Now, last I heard the split was fuel by speculation about Rick being at a party in the shower with a chair and a revolving line of blonds. Given that, Vanessa must be jonesin' for a Fox Fix to ever be in the same room with homey, let alone playing lovers on TV...

For my loyal Malone Zone Basement Dwellers, y'all will remember I weighed in on Rick's dumb a$$ way back in August 2004 (including the fact that it was Rick who dropped the papers on 'Nessa - talk about a bold play! Get caught then act indignant!) so while it's possible that time heals all wounds I have to think that there's something else going on up in this mug. Exhibit A: Southside shortys don't play that noise. It's a wonder Rick didn't end up with a face full of hot grits or accidentally walk into a knife twenty times for some alledged ruckus like that.

Okay - I know Vanessa is 50/50 northside/southside so it's possible that the northside 50% was encouraging her to be a little more reasonable and to think about the kids. Yeah, yeah, whatever. That doesn't get you past Exhibit B: Vanessa may be getting a little long in the tooth but I have to believe that she could pull some any other brother...

Then again, maybe it is all about acting and 'Nessa's being the bigger person and trying to throw ol boy a bone now that he's retired from basketball and is trying to get his acting career off the ground. Wow - have homeboy/shorty relations evolved to that point yet? If so, I have to give 'Nessa big dap on that and reiterate the point I made in that August 2004 post - Rick, you still a big a$$ dummy.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Cuba, Oscar and No Damn Sense

Wassup, Y'all!

11 years. That's how long it's been since Cuba Gooding, Jr. won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his dead on portrayal of egotistical pro football player, Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire. The irony of that role was that the subject of Tidwell's catch phrase 'Show me money' is something strangely lacking from the box office receipts of the many movies Gooding has made since. That has ol Ty wondering, that after receiving critical praise for his role as Tre in 'Boyz 'N The Hood' and an OSCAR, how things could go so tragically wrong? Now the brother is filming Hanes underwear commercials with Michael Jordan (who?). What happened to this brother?...

Let me get the tragic facts out of the way first. Of the 23 films ol boy has made since then I can count on four fingers the ones that stood out (As Good As It Gets (good stuff), Instinct (borderline), Men of Honor (good stuff) and Radio (good stuff)). Mixed in there are some heinous joints like Rat Race, Boat Trip, Snow Dogs and his latest, Daddy Day Camp. I left out Norbit since that was really Eddie's hot mess - that was one turrrible movie (though Eddie's ease of doing multiple characters is always impressive...).

Anyway, I bring all this up in the hopes that Cuba's next role, that of 70's pimp Nicky Barnes in Denzel Washington's hotly anticipated American Gangster, which drops in November, is the one that FINALLY brings this brother back to the fold.

I've liked homeboy since his Tre Styles days and I'd like to see him get back some semblance of a respectable career. Granted the brother ain't no Don Cheadle or Denzel or Forest Whitaker or Chiwetel Ejiofor or Djimon Hounsou (don't hate on Djimon, y'all - 'Give us us free!') or ... but he is talented. The brother just needs to figure out a way to say 'hell to tha naw' to any old script that is looking for a southside fool. I know it's tough waiting on scripts to find their way through the fingers of all those previously mentioned brothers (not to mention Will Smith and Samuel L. Jackson) but come on - BOAT TRIP!

Cuba, be patient, brother. Let the game come to you - you have an Oscar baby. Try sticking close to those other brothers I mentioned- they'll pull you out of the wilderness.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Jena and 'The Duel' results

Wassup, Y'all!

Today's the big rally down in Dixie Jena, Louisiana which harkens back to the bygone days of the 60's. For the actual factuals of what actually precipitated this movement, check my August 29th post. The good, pre-rally news from Jena is that most of the charges against the six have been "...reduced to offenses such as aggravated battery" and the guilty conviction on second-degree battery charges slapped on the first Jena Six, defendant Mychal Bell has been thrown out by Louisiana's 3rd Circuit Court of Appeal saying that he had been "...improperly tried as an adult. Bell, now 17, remains in custody while prosecutors decide whether to file new charges against him in juvenile court." Hmmmm...that sounds like some good and bad news to me but you have to appreciate the power of public scrutiny...

Seems 50 Cent's album glossy is more than appropriate given that Kanye West's first week album sales crushed Fiddy's by more than 300,000 units. Now the watch is on to see if Fiddy makes good on his promise to retire from the game if his album didn't outsell Kanye's in the first week. How much you wanna bet that ol boy's gonna back out of that ill-advised statement? Me? I'd put about $0.50 on it...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Despite Fiddy, Chamillionaire shows the way

Wassup, Y'all!

I've been feelin' Chamillionaire's cut 'Hip Hop Police' off his new album 'Ulimate Victory' for a few now for a couple reasons: 1) That joint is creative and funny and 2) it reminds me of the good old days of hip hop when MCs would tell relevant or entertaining stories with their raps rather than just rapping about being a thug, disrespecting shortys and enjoying the spoils of fame and money. I've also been feelin' Chamillionaire because his latest album has been released without the seemingly obligatory explicit lyrics warning label - an intentional consequence from an artist who seems to finally get it despite receiving derisive feedback from one of his own...

When told of Chamillionaire's choice to release a profanity free album that also intentionally avoids the use of the N-Word, 50 Cent had this to say to Spin magazine back in July: "Let (Chamillionaire) go sell gospel records, if he's so (expletive) righteous."

Man, where to start with Fiddy? This is one arrogant brother who seems to thrive on startin' beefs and stirring controversy to keep his own azz on the musical radar. He's definitely learned the necessary arts of self promotion and product cross promotion but this is also a brother who never seems to mind pushing his fellow artist down to raise himself up and ultimately, that type of behavior is going to catch up with him. It's no wonder that fool got caught a few caps to the body back in the day and it's probably the reason he wears that whack bullet proof vest at his concerts. All it takes is one, y'all.

So it comes as no surprise that Fiddy is back out there and apparently on the brink of 'retirement' due his recent boast that if his new album 'Curtis' doesn't outsell Kanye's West's new album, 'Graduation Day', in the first week he will retire from the game. As of Friday, Billboard "...reported Friday that Graduation leads with 781,000 copies sold over the 603,000 moved by 50 Cent's Curtis, according to projections."

The finish line is this Wednesday and I have to admit that some parts of Ol Ty are wishing that this recent Fiddy boast was more than just another promotion gimmick...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

You know you're old when...

Wassup, Y'all!
My boy DLT recently made a side comment trying to make ol Ty think that he was gettin' old. To that end, ol boy pretty much succeeded when he told me that (still) foine (tho still weird) shorty Lisa Bonet's *18 year old* daughter, Zoe Kravitz , is featured in this month's GQ magazine. For those of y'all who actually paid attention during the Genetics module in science class you'll agree that Zoe sure can't deny that Lisa and rocker Lenny Kravitz are her parental units. All I can say is 'HOLD UP! Lisa's got an 18 year old daughter!' Man, I guess time is passin me by in the basement...

So naturally that got ol Ty to wonderin' about what else has passed him by while he was looking the other way? Hmmmm...how 'bout the fact that

- Mama Lisa Bonet will turn 40 this year (old girl was 17 when debut on The Cosby Show)

- Little Rudy Huxtable (Keisha Knight Pulliam) is 28!! Man, Luda wasn't lying about being 'all grown up just like Rudy Huuuuxtable...

- Phylicia Rashad (daaamn Phylicia!) is a stone's throw from 60! I see she's doin' that slow aging like Lena Horne...

- Raven Simone? Lisa Bonet's step daughter on the Cosby Show? Ol girl will be 22 in December!

Daaaang - I guess it's time to change the carpet and reupholster the furniture in the basement. Yo DLT! Thanks for nothing, homey!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone