Monday, April 18, 2005

It's Spring And The Robins Are Out

Wassup, Y'all!

You know, growing up, I was one of those high maintenance crumbsnatchers - especially at the dinner table. Moms would go through all kinds of changes trying to get old Tyrone to eat the same tired a**ed vegetables and finally she had to figure out a way to combine the nasty with the tasty to encourage me to get them down. Stuff like cheese on the broccoli or cooking bacon in with the green beans - all in an effort to get it all to go down easy. So it comes as no surprise that this is the way I prefer to get my newscasts - delivered by shortys so fine, it really doesn't register that there's still so much heinousness going on in the world. It also makes me wonder when Sports Illustrated is finally going to get to the "Girls of the Network News" issue...

My Chicago homeys will certainly recognize the 9.2 Shorty Daamn Meter registrant above. Ol girl Robin Meade used to kick it on the local channel 5 news for NBC here in the Windy City and homeboys were lined along the streets from Wacker Drive down the Skyway as we all pleaded with her not to go as she made her way out of town to Atlanta to swoop the morning anchor slot at CNN. It's still nice to be able to wake up with homegirl, who seems to possess charm, beauty and a goofy sense of humor - all moms-worthy qualities (a sense of humor being key, y'all).

But as enamored as I am with Shorty Robin M., it's another morning Robin that gets my vote with that second to last necessary shorty quality. That Robin would of course be Robin Roberts who anchors the news segments on Good Morning America and weekend SportsCenter on ESPN (can you see where I'm heading here, y'all?). A fine shorty that knows sports and can get you access into all the major sports venues is like a free day inside Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory without an Oompa Loompa escort, y'all. It doesn't get much better than that. Plus old girl can shoot hoops and has a great sense of humor (I wonder if she's the one who finally loosened up old Dr. Condoleeza?? - *something* happened to old girl as she's now traveling the globe looking like a Vogue Magazine covergirl and actually hugging people!! - You go, Condi!). Now if I could just confirm that both Robins possessed that elusive final shorty quality, I could add them both to my Shorty Short List. What's that final shorty quality you ask? Well I can't say it any better than Ludacris did in 'Yeah!' - Verse 3, last line, second half. Trifling - yes, but sooooo true, y'all.



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