Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The Shame Of iPod Playlist Outings...

Wassup, Y'all!

As iPods become more ubiquitious (for the homeys down at Winky's Corner Store that means those joints are everywhere) enabling Poddites the ability to store thousands of songs in the palm of their hand, as in Spider-Man where old Uncle Ben told Peter Parker - 'with much power comes much responsibility', the same applies here to the content of your playlists, y'all. In the 'old days' before MP3 players or before MP3 players with lush, spacious harddrives, a Poddite was forced to choose wisely and only download songs to her player that were in popular rotation and reflected the Billboard selections. Now, however, many Poddites have gone into the closet and loaded up 'special' playlists with songs and artists they would never admit to their friends that they like. This unfortunate turn of events has led to an embarassing phenomenon that I like to call 'Playlist Outing'...

Scene Of The Crime:
It Was Colonel Mustard In
The Study With Milli Vanilli!

This normally happens when your boy innocently picks up your iPod and starts perusing your playlists. A skilled nosey Poddite will go straight to 'Browse Artist' to get the lowdown and then bust out laughing at his boy who's been hiding N'Sync and Bananarama behind macho playlists like 'Thug Cuts' and 'Gin & Juice'. When homeboy runs and tells your other boys about your metro-sexual taste in music - you've been outed, cousin. You roll into the party flexin' like Usher and end up gettin' bounced from the party because you're really homeboy on the right - Poindexter B. Whack. Shame, Shame. Then unfortunately once you start crying, you'll have to Blame It On The Rain, then suffer through a Cruel Summer and watch all the shortys go Bye Bye Bye (not like I'm really familiar with any of those songs, y'all and you damn sure know nary a one of those joints is anywhere near *my* iPod...).

However, there is *one* sure fire explanation to get any player out of a potentially embarassing outing. When you get caught with Michelle Branch or Hillary Duff on your joint, stay calm (player rule #1 for all situations) and tell the nosey Poddite that you're a player and on any given night you could be rolling back to the crib with a shorty of any persuasion hence you've loaded up appropriate playlists to put them at ease so you can seal the deal.

Homeboys - stick with me, I'll get you to where you need to go.



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