Saturday, April 30, 2005

But it was funny in the movies...

Wassup, Y'all!

Come on, admit it. You know when you went to this romantic comedy with your sweety you actually laughed at Julia Roberts' chronic cold feet and the silly shenanigans that followed. How could anybody stay mad at America's Sweetheart as she planned wedding after wedding and then jetted either on or just before the blissful day? Ahhh, that was a good concept - a nice twist where it was actually the bride who jacked up the wedding rather than the doofus groom, one of his doofus groomsmen or the seedy aftermath of a bachelor party gone very, very wrong. Today's news, however, shows the subtle line between comedy and crime...

Now I know my readers are well informed so by now you should know how the mystery of Jennifer Wilbanks, the missing Duluth, Georgia jogger turned out and it's doubtful Ms. Wilbanks will be inheriting the title of America's Sweetheart... I think the phrase 'Jacked up' is appropriate. I'll be real with, y'all. When I heard she was just a few days away from her wedding, the fact that she ducked out of town was my *first* thought. It was too obvious. But in this day and age of body snatching, I'd say the town did the right thing by closing ranks and searching for her rusty butt. But I'm still thinking:

Bridemaids - 14
Groomsmen - 14
Realizing you've got 600 invitations in the mail and don't really want to get married? - Priceless

You have to feel for old girl as I'm sure she won't be able to shrug off the aftermath of her actions as easily as Julia Roberts did. Can you imagine the reaction to the next set of wedding invites that she mails out? Wooooo. I'm still waiting to see how the fiance weighs in since the police were looking at him as a possible murder suspect and he had to submit to a polygraph. Not the best way to start a lifetime of wedded bliss, y'all. See - this is just why I prefer movies to real life. When it's over - it's over. It's just a *movie*. So while old girl is spending the next 1000 days indoors waiting for the heat to blow over, here are a few DVD titles that may be appropriate:

1) The Long Kiss Goodbye
2) The Long Cold Night
3) Dumb and Dumber
4) The Wedding Planner
5) Running Scared
6) Midnight Run
7) Leaving Las Vegas
8) Raising Arizona
9) The Vanishing
10) Bad Day On The Block (aka Under Pressure)

In the meantime I'm wondering if I can get some of their wedding cake for free? I like wedding cake. And the smooth player will recognize the golden opportunity of being able to console 14 distraught bridesmaids!!!

It's Not *ALL* Bad News...

It really is true that when one door closes and other one opens...



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