Sunday, April 10, 2005

Wisteria Hysteria

Wassup, Y'all!

You know it had to happen sooner or later. I'm just surprised it took this long, y'all. News is running rampant over the internet about the story behind this Desperate Housewives Vanity Fair photo shoot and it seems beauty (or in this case female harmony) is only skin deep...

Now y'all know as much as shortys like to prop their solidarity when it comes to their causes - equal pay for equal work, the right to choose, the right to fight in the armed forces, etc. - it's more than a little ironic that any group of shortys left together too long in a room will eventually resort to cannibalism - not literally y'all (that's nasty) but in the figurative sense. It seems that no matter how good things are, instinctual jealousies will always bubble up to the surface and when they do homeboys, it's time to get to gone. You don't want to be anywhere near the scene of the inevitable crime. So now it seems this force of nature has found its way to the cozy confines of Wisteria Lane.

Just like in every band or every breakout show (and this season there's been none bigger than DHW) there's normally one member who breaks out. Destiny's Child has Beyonce, No Doubt has Gwen Stefani, B2K has Omarion and DHW has the foine Teri Hatcher. This choice is arguable (particually since I'm partial to that fine shorty Eva Longoria) but it seems to be borne out by FHM's (the Bible) Top 100 Sexiest Women 2005 List. Hottie Hatcher clocks in at a strong #7, while Eva clocks in at #38 and the rest of the Wisteria wives didn't even hit the list. Clearly, the other four stars, aware they're attached to one of the biggest shows their careers have ever seen, are painfully aware that the spotlight is shining most brightly on Hottie Hatcher, hence the emergence of the green eyed monster. The above glossy comes from the photo shoot for Vanity Fair's May issue (now must reading) and background details of the shoot included demands from the other 'wives' that hottie Hatcher not get to choose her outfit first or appear in the center of any group photo (like Beyonce always seem to do). When it appeared that things weren't going that way, word is things got hot with Marcia Cross storming off and Hottie Hatcher crying into her cell phone (likely to a girlfriend saying something like - "why do they all hate me? I can't help that I'm fine...). Come on now, y'all! Cut out all that drama and get back to business - there's enough publicity to go around! Matter of fact, let me post a glossy of Hottie Hatcher to see what all the fuss is about:

Hottie Hatcher
Uh Oh...

Hmmm...maybe the other four have a point. I bet their agents are getting an earful right about now...



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