Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Diversity: The GOP vs. The Bachelorette

Wassup, Y'all!

It's too funny that news outlets are reporting that the republican party is having trouble implementing its 'diversity plan'. Politico.com reported last week that the 'GOP Fails To Recruit Minorities'. The national response to that was 'Well Duh'. How was that even newsworthy to print? That's like reporting that 'ducks have feathers' or 'water is wet' or 'Sister Hillary won't let go of the democratic nomination until it's pried from her cold, dead hands'.

If y'all want a good laugh then go ahead and read that joint and get your giggle on to factual nuggets like, 'the GOP is heading into the 2008 election without a single minority candidate with a plausible chance of winning a campaign for the House, the Senate or governor' or 'At the start of the Bush years, the Republican National Committee — in tandem with the White House — vowed to usher in a new era of GOP minority outreach'. You need to quit, Politico! You're killing me! This is almost as bad as the GOP diversity plan Jesse Helms put forth back in 2000!

No rather than that tired reportin', Politico needs to be diggin' deep like ol Ty. My regular readers will note that back in 2004, I was uncovering the ridiculous lack of diversity on the ABC reality staple The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Well, it's 2008 - four damn years later. Last week they roled out a new Bachelorette - DeAnna Pappas - and once again included 'Token Brother' in the initial crop of 25 bachelors. Hmmm...wonder how homey did...

First, a quick profile of 'Token Brother'.TB Jeffrey hails from Miami but now calls Orlando home. He is a math teacher. He has all his teeth. Current status after one week on The Bachelorette? SENT HOME. Somehow, I didn't see that comin'.

Now I know y'all are all like, 'Well dang, Ty! What you doin' watchin' that stuff anyway?' Quite simply - research. I put it out there four years ago, so I have a journalistic obligation to keep watchin' until they flip the script and have a southside shorty Bachelorette, twenty-four southside homeys and one northside homey. See VH1 tried to get a brother all distracted with 'Flavor of Love' and 'I Love New York' but ol Ty is holdin' out for a major broadcaster to get with the program.

In Episode 1 last week, poor Jeffrey had a quick chat with homegirl when he hopped out of the limo, then instead of gettin' some 1-on-1 time later, he got backdoored and interviewed by DeAnna girlfriend. Clearly her later report back to her girl wasn't favorable (uh DeAnna, you know he's black, right? I mean oh my gawd).

So Jeffrey went home - good job, good teeth and all and DeAnna is left to revel in the attention of the 15 northside homeys who remain. That's what I call good, safe programming. After all, supposed Jeffrey had made it to the final three and garnered a date home to visit DeAnna's parents? That would have been a whole new show, y'all with language only heard on late night cable...or Grand Theft Auto IV.

So rest assured, y'all. I'll stay in the watchtower on this one. I plan to report back in 2012 at which time the Bachelor/Bachelorette will be off the air and ABC will be picking up the option on Flavor of Love 16 cuz we all luv us some Flava Flav - Yeaaaaaaaa, boyeeeeeeee!



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