Friday, May 30, 2008

Ty's 10 Tips to Save A Ton of Time

Wassup, Y'all!

With so much information flyin' at you everyday from TV, radio and the web, most folks find it difficult to process it all and still have quality time left over to hang out with friends, family and maybe get your bar-b-que on. So just in time for the weekend, here's ol Ty's public service tip of the week - ten timely tips to save you a ton of time. Keep in mind that *not* reading Ty is not one of them!....

  1. If you listen to Sean Hannity everyday, repeat the following for 15 seconds: Barack Obama, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, 'What's he hiding?'. When you're done you'll know everything he talked about on the show.

  2. Repeat the same for Rush Limbaugh's show but but add 'Mr. Snerdly' and say it all with a self important air. These two tips alone will save you nearly six hours!

  3. Only watch the last two minutes of a NBA basketball game

  4. Don't start watching NBA basketball games until the playoffs start

  5. Only watch the first five minutes of any CNN news broadcast

  6. When your girl asks, 'Can we talk a minute?' say 'no'. You know it's gonna be waaay more than a minute

  7. When your man comes home late after you asked him not too, don't ask 'So where were you?' or 'So what took you so long?'. Just have a naked picture of you propped up next to the pillow you already put on the couch with a Post-It note on it that says, 'What you won't be seeing until this time next month'. It sends a powerful message, saves you time listening to lame excuses and frees up a ton of 'me' time.

  8. Microwave everything (even your draws)

  9. Iron nothing - buy wrinkle-free gear (or live in a basement with your moms and get the hook up)

  10. Stop reading Top Ten Lists
** Monday, 6/2 Update!! **
For Tips #1 and #2 - also add 'Father Pfleger' and 'Trinity Church' and you'll be straight - may bad, y'all!
** ** **

Have a great weekend, y'all!



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