Venus & Serena : Milk Carton Alert!

Wassup, Y'all!

My how the distracted have fallen. Frequent readers of the Malone Zone may remember my August '05 post about the many irons in the fire Williams sisters have and how their focus on all things non-tennis was beginning to register on the bottom line - in the Sony Ericsson WTA Tour Rankings and the WTA Tour Money Leaders lists. It appears our wannabe actresses / fashion models / clothing designers / interior designers are now nowhere to be found on the Money list and only semi-disciplined sister Venus is still in the Top 20 rankings, clocking in at a less than stellar 13th (I couldn't even find party-all-the-time sister Serena in the Top 100...) - 2,267 points off the pace of Amelie Mauresmo (who looks like she could qualify on the men's tour as well..)...

Seems our girls have now taken a page from the Anna Kournikova reference guide - "How to market yourself by leveraging professional tennis as a PR machine". I realize that slick Anna actually *never* won a professional tournament, but she sure has a lot of hot pictures orbiting the Internet!! It's a bit more disappointing with the Williams sistas since they're so inspiring to young southside shorty tennis hopefuls but I guess their off-court endeavours can be inspiring too. After all, everybody knows that we could sure use a few more bad TV actresses on UPN...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Panasonic's packing 103" inches!

Wassup, Y'all!



Yeah, baby! Yeaaaaah!

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I haven't yet caught one of those Austin Powers joints, but I am kinda fond of one of Mike Meyers catch phrases in the movie, especially since it works so well for Panasonic's debut of a 103" High Definition Plasma screen TV...

In my book, you can boil homeboys down into three basic categories: the power tool set which I call Gearheads, the electronic gadget set which I call Techheads and the metrosexual clothing/grooming product set which I call gay Noheads (if you get my meaning...I hear women don't like guys who spend more time in the mirror than they do...). Me? Undoubtedly old Tyrone is a card carrying Techhead so I have to admit that the announcement had me going through all kinds of changes just thinking about the possibilities of owning a home theater with that bad boy as the proverbial 'draws dropper' (as my southside homeys are known to say).

When you start talking about a 103" HD Plasma, every homeboy in the Techhead nation immediately starts thinking about what choice DVDs he could peep on that bad boy that would show off such massive scope (a Nohead on the other hand would be worrying about how much dust that bad boy might collect and whether he needs to invest in another lint brush...). I'm thinking a few action joints like Heat and The Last Samurai, a couple classics like Top Gun and Glory, a little bit of eye candy like Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle and the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show - maybe Shakira's new 'Hips Don't Lie' music video. *Sigh*

According to the specs, Panasonic's wall buster clocks in at a hefty 400 lbs. so no matter how macho you want to look in front of your girl, you'll either need a couple homeboys to help with the installation or go the complete castration route and get a professional to do it for you (if you ask politely he might even date your girl for you if you're not up to that either...). Regardless, should you be able to pull off getting one of those bad boys, you'll be able to put a temporary halt to the neighbor flexing that always has your shorty rolling her eyes. You know how homeboys do. We're all into comparing our $hit with our boyz. It'd be all like:

Dude, you still packing that 72" over at your crib? Dang homes, you need to get with the times - you know I'm packing that Pana 103", right? That's right - so if you're feeling lonely tonight, that's cuz your girl will be over at my spot watchin' Desperate Housewives with me.

That would just be the tip of the iceberg, y'all. Yo Panasonic! Good lookin'out, homey-sans!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Proof RIP - He Kept it Real...

Wassup, Y'all!

When I first saw the initial reports of D12 rapper Proof's capping in a dingy Detroit nightclub...on Eight Mile Road...at 4:30 am ...I was all like, "Dang, that's tight - wrong place, wrong time'. After all, we know that there can't be a safer place to be than a dingy Detroit nightclub on Eight Mile Road at 4:30 am (unless Charles Barkley is up in that piece). Now as details slowly percolate up, it seems the real reason behind Proof's violent demise was his own temper or his desire to make sure he 'kept it real' and lived up to his thug soldier rap persona...

I know, y'all - no one said most rappers were bright since many of those knuckleheads seem to prefer a dirt nap in the boneyard to doing something positive with the ridiculously lucky breaks they are handed (should they be popular enough to sell some CDs or hook up as part of the entourage of someone who is...).

Pre-school Proof could have been living lavish without working at all. He was in like Flint with his mentor Eminem and with Kim back out on the curb, he likely could have moved into Em's crib and saved a few more ducets off the fat stack he was sponging. But nooooooooo, Pre-School Proof had to be all brody and start some static in a dingy Detroit nightclub on Eight Mile Road at 4:30 am. The end result - one to the dome, two to the chest and a dirt nap. Dang - hate it when that happens.

Now I did catch a bit of Fade To Black - the Jay-Z documentary about his 'last' concert and it only points to the fact that if you use the sense God gave you, you can parlay your good fortune into more good fortune. Jay-Z, Diddy, y'all know the tune. Seems to be a pretty obvious choice to me - Beyonce...one to the dome, two to the chest and a dirt nap...Beyonce...one to the dome, two to the chest and a dirt nap. Did I mention that most rappers aren't too bright?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Never Saw it Coming...

Wassup, Y'all!

Breaking up is easy to do...

I'm trying to pull myself back together after seeing the shocking news that Eminem has filed for divorce from his boo Kim for the second time. This one less than 3 months after marrying old girl again. *Sigh* I have to admit I never saw it coming, y'all. Maa fact, here're nine other nuggets that caught a brother *completely* by surprise...

Pissed off sisters in trouble!

Rep. Cynthia McKinney D-GA claiming racism after refusing to stop for a Capitol Police officer who didn't recognize her because she finally ditches those tired braids for an ill-formed 'fro. Now come on, homegirl! If 98% of southside brothers can't recognize their own shortys if they get their hair wet (northsiders: black hair + perm + water = unintentional afro...) who's gonna blame a northside Capitol Police officer? Ease up, Cyndy and stop selling those wolf tickets everytime things don't go your way! Mighty funny how she dropped a mea culpa when all of her Black Congressional Caucus colleagues took one, giant step back away from old girl...

What kind of job do you have when you have to sneak quietly around to avoid high velocity projectiles from impacting your dome? Special Forces soldier? Nope - try housekeeper for Naomi Campbell. Seems even laid back supermodels can go postal sometimes cuz we all know our girl Naomi is chill like a pill. What could have driven old girl to bounce her cell phone off her housekeeper's bean so badly she needed a couple staples to close the wound? Laying that cotton throw blanket on the couch a little too loud? Missing that one spider web thread in one corner of the kitchen's vaulted ceiling? I'm sure the details will surface now that old girl has been charged with 2nd degree assault. Homeboys - I know she's kinda cute and she has that British accent going on but who in their right mind is going to step out with Naomi? Man, one wrong word and she's mixing up a batch of hot grits to toss on yo a$$ the minute you go to sleep!

It wasn't me...

No jail time for Debbie Lafave. New math, y'all - cute, young blonde haired, blue eyed teacher + 14 year old hormone crazed boy = 0 years in jail. Wow - now that's what I call gender progress. Seems old girl was able to parlay a claim of being bipolar into a get out of jail free card. Hmmm, I can hear the wheels turning at Catholic parishes all over the country...

Beltway greed poster boy Rep. Tom Delay R-TX has decided to call it a day on his political career. Somehow you knew there were tears behind his bogus smiling mug shot and all that false bravado. He knew the deal but as a good Texan he was just trying to cowboy up and put a little lipstick on that pig he was trying to sell. Anyway, don't cry for him Argentina. The truth is he'll be making millions on the lobby circuit before you can say Jack Abramoff...

Payback's a Be-Yotch...

Nick Lachey is trying to get spousal support. Go 'head, Nick! Get yours, homey! Always good to see a little table turning going on. I remember when Joan Lunden's (former Good Morning America host) househusband went this same route and old girl asked loud and long why he could just get off his lazy a$$ and get a job? I'm sure many homeboys have wondered the same about their ex-spouses, but you didn't hear that from me.

Can I borrow a dollar and your make-up mirror?

Doc Gooden's back in county oranges again y'all. The only question here is where's his cut buddy Robert Downy Jr. Daryl Strawberry? You know neither of these brothers can figure out how to shake those Eightball cravings. Which brings me to another of our southside nation housemates - Whitney Houston. I'm too surprised that after she drop kicked her boo Bobby to the curb that her concerned sister-in-law Tina Brown dropped some unsavory tidbit to The National Enquirer about Whitney's seemingly unbreakable crack habit. Man - and in-laws normally get along so well too...

Money for nothing...

Katie Couric, arguably America's most overpaid and overrated television host is leaving NBC's Today Show for more money the prestigious CBS Evening News anchor job. I'm not hatin', y'all I'm just statin' and wondering how this chick ever became worth $15 million a year. In the pantheon of foine shorty news anchors, I believe Katie ranked a meager 0.025 on the Malone Zone Shorty Damn Meter. Clearly I wasn't consulted on this move but I wish her well as she vanishes into that obscure ratings black hole known as CBS news. Hmmm, that's kinda poetic...

And finally, after working just a little over 19 days this year, Congress goes back on break for Easter and only plans to work 2 weeks in April and only 97 days for the entire year in Washington. I'm all for those boyz mandating that type of work schedule for the rest of the American people (or at least GW's work schedule). You have to admire that crew though - they really know how to balance work and family life while pulling in over six figures a year from their day jobs. It's like Eddie Murphy said in The Distinguished Gentleman - working in CONgress is the biggest con in the world.

Hey, just in case y'all don't hear from me for a few - do me a favor and check the manifest down at Guantanamo from time to time...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Smooth Criminals

Wassup, Y'all!

Back in January, y'all will remember I was already catching the fever for the flavor of Spike Lee's movie Inside Man and in the wake of my recent viewing, all I can say is that Spike's table in the A-List director section is finally ready. That joint was smooth, stylish, wryly humorous and, included a rare, key ingredient missing from most movies lately (listen close Hollywood greenlighters...) - it was entertaining...

First, I'd be remiss if I just laid all the success of this movie at Spike's feet. The casting was top notch (though I've heard several sources of grumbling that Jodie Foster was miscast but I think that's just NS Shorty hatin' on old girl since Jodie was killing that skirt and those pumps... :-) Hmmm, might not be obvious which way I lean in that debate.) And you can't have a good movie without good writing and clearly Russell Gewirtz delivered the goods as well - the dialogue was tight and the plot was off the hook. It had a bit of that Pulp Fiction/Momento feel since parts of it were shown out of sequence. Also, in my opinion, no one films NYC like Spike does. He seems able to make the city and culture minor characters in his films (but I would like to see him drop that annoying habit of always putting in his 'signature' dolly shot where he has a character roll along with the camera dolly while the background recedes. Spike - that effect is played out, homey!)

I have to admit I'm a big fan of caper movies - joints where the criminals are so smooth that in the end you end up hoping they get away with it because they planned it out so well. You know - that 'back in the day' joint 'The Sting' and more recent joints like the remakes of Ocean's Eleven and the Italian Job. It's what I call Mack Daddy Crime. It's distinctly different from blue collar crime (aka The Sopranos) and white collar crime (aka Enron). A blue collar criminal will sneak up on you while you're making a late night ATM withdrawal, clock your a$$ with a lead pipe and steal your loot. A white collar criminal will encourage to buy more stock in a company he knows is more rotten than a wino's teeth, then leave you with no pension, 401(K) savings or health care while he gently descend on his Golden Parachute onto the soft, sandy beaches of Anguilla. A Mack Daddy criminal, on the other hand, will figure out how to infiltrate that fat cat executive's offshore bank, gain access to his safety deposit box, steal his stolen money and then use the rest of the box's contents to blackmail him for even more money before turning the goods over to the authorities. Mmmm, that's good eatin', right there y'all. Goooood eatin'.

Anyway - if you haven't seen that joint, it's good enough to drop the ducets to see it in the theater. Don't be tight cuz old Tyrone is giving it 3.5 Spinners and a 10 on the HMV (Homeboy Movie Viewing) Scale. I've provided the formula for your personal edification.

The HMV Scale specifies how a homeboy should view a movie given it's quality and the quantity of his endz:

10 - Movie Theater (either prime time or matinee)
9 - Official movie DVD (purchase or rental)
8 - Bootleg I (Internet obtained, high quality production DVD)
7 - Bootleg II (homeboy hookup DVD - low quality, filmed in theater, back row)
6 - Pay-Per-View (Cable or Satellite - your crib)
5 - Pay-Per-View (Cable or Satellite - your boy's crib)
4 - Premium Channel (Cable or Satellite - your crib)
3 - Premium Channel (Cable or Satellie - your boy's crib)
2 - Broadcast Channel (local channel Movie of The Week - your crib)
1 - Broadcast Channel (local channel Movie of The Week - your boy's crib)
0 - Never see it (Ever.)

Be sure to clip that for handy reference to future movie reviews in the Malone Zone, y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

It Don't Matter If You're Black or White

Wassup, Y'all!

I've just cracked the first couple episodes of Ice Cube's new reality series Black White and like Public Enemy said a few years back - don't believe the hype. Don't get me wrong, y'all - it ain't all bad but it could have been sooo much more with the right families in the mix. For those who haven't peeped (or heard about) the show, it takes two families - one white (the Wurgels) and one black (the Sparks) - and through the magic of hollywood caliber makeup turns them both into the other race and (as if that weren't deep enough) they push the envelope and make them *live* together in the same crib! Anyway, anyone who's seen the movie White Chicks knows that the art of turning black folks white still needs a little marinating. The reverse move however, was more convincing (at least with Wurgel family daughter Rose - that's her in the glossy y'all). Check a few of the other transformations then join me after the jump to get the actual factuals on this 'social experiment'...

Now compare Shawn and Marlon to young shorty Rose and tell me I'm lying. Those boyz look like albino burn victims (as 'Tini Mack would say: I'm not hatin', I'm just statin', y'all). With all the hype this show's been getting (Oprah had the cast on her spot a few weeks ago and F/X has been proppin' this bad boy like crazy (it roped me in didn't it?) but even Ice Cube would have to admit that this really isn't virgin territory. My boy Melvin Peebles was on the tip back in 1970 when he dropped Watermelon Man with Godfrey Cambridge and fringe Brat Packer C. Thomas Howell took a similar twist in Soul Man back in '86. That joint had old boy OD'ing on sun tan tablets so he could sneak into Harvard on a scholarship set aside for a black student ('He didn't give up - he got down! y'all. What kind madness is that?). Somehow he managed to pull that off and mack that quirky a$$ Rae Dawn Chong before the end credits rolled. Hmmm..okay maybe that was a plan after all...

Anyway, I was tuning in to see some fireworks based on their mutual cultural immersions (e.g. the fake Northside family getting car-jacked in the 'hood, the fake Southside family taking a wrong turn during their weekend in the woods and stumbling into a Klan rally, you know - stuff like that there) but to me the show is taking the easy reality show way out by focusing primarily on the in house dynamics with each family tripping on the other about their stereotypical or paranoid thinking. That said, I've got to give major props to shorty Rose for stepping into a Poetry Slam class and actually dropping some verse. That took a lot of heart as did later 'coming out of the closet' to let them know that she was actually a Northside shorty. Her counterpart in the Sparks family - Nick - has yet to show me anything. He's hardly in the show - dang homey, at least do a reverse Soul Man on them and show up at a pick up basketball game and hustle the Southside homeys out of some money!

Anyway, I'm hoping the show will pick it up a bit as I like the concept. In fact, the Sparks father looks a lot like Eddie Murphy did in his classic SNL skit 'Two Americas' where Eddie dons white makeup and tries to prove that there are two America's - one white and one black. Hit that link y'all and tell me that joint *still* doesn't crack you up (what a silly Negro) all these years later.

One thing is clear though when it comes to mediocre reality TV, like Michael Jackson (who?) said: It Don't matter if you're black or white. Hee, hee, hee

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

That Nigga's Crazy

Wassup, Y'all!

No I ain't talking about Richard Pryor's dope 1974 comedy album, - wish I was. Y'all remember that track 'Have Your A$$ Home by 11'? That joint *still* cracks me up. Sadly, y'all the 'nigga' I'm talking about is that silly a$$ negro Damon Wayans. Regular readers of the Malone Zone will recognize old Tyrone has never been a fan of that whack Wayans family humor (In Living Color is the one exception). It seems I've been the only one out of the loop on DW's latest whack idea - to trademark the term 'Nigga' for an apparel and retail line of merchandise. Two snaps up to Northside Shorty for hooking a brother up with this 'Ghost of Christmas Future' glossy. I caught this jibber-jabber while peeping the Defamer blog and they snapped it up from Wired.com. Only a Wayans could think this is a good idea...

First, let me say that I think when it comes to this particular topic it's best discussed 'in house' among Southsiders. Just like it's okay for family members to crack on a member of their family but if a kid from another family does it - it's lights out for homeboy. The same thinking applies here. The "N-Word" is still too racially charged for it to be thrown around freely between Northsiders and Southsiders and Southsiders need to recognize that the more we do it, the more everyone else thinks it's all good to drop that bad boy in mixed company. This Damon Wayans Tom Foolery just feeds into that whack thinking.

A while back some email directed me to a offensive T-Shirt site on the web that propped T-shirts like the one pictured in the cartoon glossy. You know that's just wrong (and I have to admit that the site was an equal opportunity offender cracking on pretty much every racial stereotype out there) but the owners justified propping their offensive gear by referring to Dave Chappelle's Chappelle Show. Their reasoning was that if Dave could drop racial humor like that, they could too - didn't matter that they weren't Southsiders. See y'all? A slippery slope. In fact, Dave pretty much admitted on the Oprah show that the inappropriate racial humor on his show (that was fueling much of its popularity) was one of the reasons he decided to just walk away from all that chedder on the table (of course he was on Oprah to help prop his upcoming Dave Chappelle's Block Party movie...).

And then there's Damon Wayans trying to figure out how to trademark the word 'Nigga'. Damn - that brother really is Homey the Clown.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Rico's Vice: Cheaper By The Dozen...

Wassup, Y'all!

It's only appropriate that I trot former ice cold undercover cop Rico (Suav-ay) Tubbs out of the closet before Jamie Foxx busts on the scene and makes everyone forget about the man who played the original Rico Tubbs in Miami Vice - Phillip Michael Thomas. PMT came to my attention recently when I caught some jibber jabber about him finally getting his life back together after working out some finacial shenanigans and fathering twelve kids. Hold up - *twelve* kids!?? Dang Rico! Even 2 Live Crew (y'all old schoolers tap that link and check out that 'Nasty As You Want to Be' cover art - what ever happened to those progressive brothers??) knew to 'wrap that rascal' *sometimes*, man! Just when I was ready to give Evander (and his ten kids) the prize, the spotlight catches Rico doing the grown up in every cabana in South Beach...

Okay - I might just be hatin' since PMT was *the* mack daddy back in the day. You know he was pulling major women during Miami Vice's hay day and he kicked some tight suits. He was Diddy and Jay-Z before Diddy was a Bad Boy and Jay-Z was Hova, jack. I loved that show too with cool a$$ Lt. Castillo and my girl Olivia Brown kicking the gat as Det. Trudy Joplin. You knew Miami Vice was a different type of show the minute it hit the air and it made South Beach the spot every homey wanted to get to because the scenery was off the hook - starting with Olivia. I haven't seen too much of old girl since then but she clearly left an impression on ol Tyrone if I'm still tripping on old girl twenty years later!

I'm happy to see that the casting director on the Miami Vice movie set didn't drop the ball and tapped UK shorty Naomi Harris to reprise the role. Y'all regular readers should remember a vintage post I dropped on Naomie after I checked her out in that Selma Hayek vehicle After The Sunset (for a reminder of Selma feel free to check out the reason I called After The Sunset a 'Selma Hayek'vehicle'...). Seems Naomie has been keeping herself busy these days. She's wrapped Vice and the second installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise (Dead Man's Chest) and is currently filming the third (daaaang Disney! Talking about milking a cash cow - ease up, y'all!). Anyway, it's nice to see some fresh southside faces around even though you know Halle Berry's fingerprints have to be all over the scripts Naomie's reading...

Anyway - back on Vice for a minute. You know if PMT's Rico Tubbs had to hire a valet service to manage all the cars of the women he had falling through *his* crib, Jamie Foxx's Rico Tubbs probably set up a holding area inside Pro Player Stadium to handle his overflow. Here's a glossy of Jamie kicking it at Nikki Beach (located at the southern tip of South Beach) during filming. That joint's dubbed the 'Sexiest Place on Earth' (tho I'm sure Ipanema Beach in Rio will dispute that title...). It's a wonder there's any of South Beach left after Jamie and his crew pulled up stakes and headed to their next movie set (Dreamgirls, y'all). Those cats are living the life right about now. If y'all happen to peep an ad in the paper where Jamie is interviewing for new entourage members (cuz I know his regular rotation has *got* to be wearing down) - don't be tight - give a brother a shout out!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Forget Grease - *L* is the Word

Wassup, Y'all!

Regular readers here at the Malone Zone will remember old Ty's early days when I had a regular penchant for posting glossys of smoking shortys. Between now and then, I've jibber-jabbered on a bunch of different topics but I'm happy to report that today marks a return to the golden days of vintage glossys so sit back and do some diligent reflection on exhibit A - Sarah Shahi who plays smoking westside club DJ, girl toy Carmen de la Pica Morales on the Showtime series The L Word. If she's not enough, read on to see why if you aren't checking that show out, you should stop and ax somebody y'all...

I have to admit that I first started watching The L Word for strictly shallow reasons - y'all know how I do. Truth be told, that joint is like your best boy's bachelor party - a legitimate reason to peep scantily clad women. With the bachelor party it's like "but baby - I'm just going cuz I'm Gin Fizz's boy and he'd be hurt if I didn't show...". For TLW it's just as close - it like "but baby, I'm just trying to get a deeper understanding of the lesbian culture so I won't be so judgemental...". See? Legimate peepin', y'all. And the thing about TLW is that most weeks the cast tends to be less scantily clad than most women on cable if you know what I'm sayin'. But after enjoying half of the first season (Season 3 is currently running now, y'all), ol Ty discovered that just like that warning that Bill Cosby dropped before each episode of the Cosby Kids cartoon on Saturday ("If you aren't careful you just might learn something"), suddenly I realized that there actually is a deeper understanding of the lesbian culture to get - who knew? I have to admit the show is really well done and if you tapped that link at the beginning to check 'Carmen's' background you'll see that the other actresses on the show aren't chopped liver either. But just when you get used to seeing Carmen jumping in and out of the shower with her girl, TLW will drop a *deep* dose of reality on a brother by intro'ing a character like Max/Moira - a confused shorty who's feels like a guy trapped in a woman's body. No, y'all - it's not all pretty on The L Word... It's about this time that I'll fast forward to other scenes with Carmen in them (refer to my previous 'shallow' comment above, y'all. There's no shame in my game...).

Now my boy DLT stepped out there and made the claim that Sarah Shahi has the best booty in televison. That's a bold statement given the wide expanse of cable TV booty available, not to mention the ghetto end of the dial known as UPN. So I'll drop the following glossy and let the readers chime in with their thoughts - pro or con. I'm an impartial 3rd party, y'all so my vote doesn't count so if you disagree, drop an alternate nominee - don't just hate. Me? I'm still morning the loss of Tisha Campbell from My Wife and Kids last season...

So if you have about 50 minutes to spare next Sunday night, continue your 'deep reflection' of Sarah by peepin an episode of TLW...hopefully you can TiVo that joint so you can fast forward through some of the deeper scenes...the water's fine at the shallow end of the pool, y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

The Lost Boys...

Wassup, Y'all!

You know there are times when old Tyrone actually *doesn't* hear about things first (shocking as that may be, y'all) and that I actually have to depend on my world renowned network to bring you the information you need to know. In this case, y'all need to be thankful to Northside 'Betty Crocka Smack Talka' Shorty who happened upon the details of a necessary documentary while spinning her radio dial and accidently landing on NPR…

The documentary is called The Boys of Baraka and focuses on a program in Baltimore that annually selected 20 black male teens to attend the Baraka School - an alternative school located Kenyan bush country (now closed). The program's primary focus was to show the teens an alternative lifestyle completely opposite from the buck wild, drug fueled anarchy ruling B'more's inner city streets - an environment that boasts the shameful statistic of an 80% high school dropout rate among B'more's black boys. 50% of that crew ends up doing a bid in prison copping three hots and cot on the state's dime. Think about those numbers, y'all and tell me this isn't a story that needs to be told (or a program that needs to be continued...).

So while Spike Lee, Ice Cube, the Wayans brothers, the Hudlin brothers, Oprah (is there an end to this list?) are going mainstream , Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady, two civic minded Northside shortys decided to do just that. Check out the trailer to get a feel for what to expect. Your next challenge will be to try and find this bad boy in any movie theater that's in your area (particularly since it got snubbed by the Oscars in the Best Documentary category - now to be fair March of the Penguins *was* an amazing piece of film making but Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room? Man, you can check that out live during the Ken Lay/Jeff Skilling trial on Court TV! Okay - that trailer looks pretty good too, but you get my point...). It did receive critical notice at the South by Southwest Film Festival but y'all can tell by that title it ain't Sundance.

Anyway, the blog Cinematical did a nice interview with Rachel Grady during which old girl dropped this among her many tight quotes:

"For Americans – for me – it was just so strange that children from the richest country in the world were going to the poorest country on earth to get an education. It was just extremely ironic."

Whoa - didn't hear that one in the State of the Union address! Oh well - there's always next year to address social ills like these. For those of you unfamiliar with how uninviting the *inner city* (not B'more's *Inner Harbor* - that joint is off the cheezy, y'all - particularly for you sea food freaks out there…) streets of B'more are, you can check them out from the safety of your couch by peeping old shows of that excellent HBO series 'The Corner'. That joint will show you what hard living is all about, jack and how the mean streets can even turn a fine shorty like Khandi Alexander (check her out in CSI: Miami now, y'all) into a Halle Berry, Jungle Fever crackhead. It ain't pretty, y'all. It ain't pretty.

So look for that joint at a theater nowhere close to you. I'll close with another timely quote from a reviewer on Rottentomatoes.com and it goes a little something like this:

"If American TV journalism were doing its job, reportage such as this would be regularly playing on major networks instead of limited runs at art house theaters."
-- Jurgen Fauth, ABOUT.COM

Amen, home skillet. Amen. I guess y'all will just have to stick with me to get your sideways dose of the actual factuals (and hope NS Shorty keeps channel hopping during her commute!). Good lookin' out, NS Shorty!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone