Friday, August 05, 2005

Venus and Serena - Really?

Wassup, Y'all!

Well I've peeped two of the planned six episodes (#3's in the TiVo on deck circle) and I'm ready to jump the gun and begin drawing conclusion on this joint - y'all know how I do. You got to drop the knowledge while it's hot. Celebrities tend to be a me too crowd with everybody making sure no one else gets too far ahead of them whether it concerns bling, bite sized dogs, cell phones, rides, children's books, fashion lines, pimp juice, fragrances, and, of course, reality shows. Bobby and Whitney, Britney and Kevin, Jessica and Nick, Paris and Nichole and now our girls Venus (V-Star) and Serena (Aneres) Williams in their new joint Venus & Serena: For Real. First, you know that since this joint is covered by ABC Family it's not going to be too off the hook - damn. Second, as you watch, you realize that thirty minute peeps into their lives each week is *more* than enough and that Serena has graduated summa cum laude from Thick High and is now freshman class president at Thickity-Thick University - woooooo...

You really don't have to roll past episode #1 to see why Venus' game is back on point (a la her recent Wimbledon win) and why Serena's is not (and she stays injured). It's the typical Ant and Grasshopper story, y'all. While Venus is busting her butt working out and training, Serena is going all glam Hollywood focusing on her fashion design company - Aneres (Serena spelled backward), modeling, acting and whatever other distraction comes her way. Not to mention her little bad a$$ dog Jackie who managed to scarf an entire turkey while the girls were out - okay, that was pretty funny.

Speaking of reality duos, I'd be remiss if I didn't drop a quick note on the TLC - 1 reality show on UPN called R U The Girl. Now correct me if I'm wrong, y'all but didn't T-Boz and Chilli spend *a lot* of air time professing how there could never be a replacement for TLC rapper Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopez (who died tragically in a car accident in Honduras). Might just be me but I saw a lot of tears and boo boo lips as they worked their way through the award show circuit. So I was a little surprised to see this reality show pop up. Okay, admittedly they aren't planning to relaunch TLC (at least I don't think they are). The hook to this show is that they plan to choose one girl from a series of multi-city tryouts to record a new single with them (that will appear on a reworked greatest hits album) and step to the stage with them for a live performance. If y'all didn't see this week's episode you missed a very talented young shorty named Arielle put her foot all the way in Toni Braxton's 'Unbreak My Heart'. Old girl brought it and could probably light up American Idol if she dipped that way...

Quiet as its kept, I still have to give it up for those 'keeper of the shorty honor' songs TLC kicked out with regularity. Creep, Red Light Special, No Scrubs, Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg, Baby-Baby-Baby - those girls flipped the script on a lot of lyrics and put the homeys on notice - gotta respect that. I damn near had an accident the first time I heard T-Boz croonin' Red Light Special talking 'bout "Take a good look at it, look at it now. Might be the last time you have a go 'round. I'll let you touch it if you like to go down. I'll let you go further if you take the southern route." And I'm like - damn if my girl didn't drop that jibber-jabber on me last night!
And 'No Scrubs' was just plain wrong with them talking 'bout "A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fine, he's also known as a buster. Always talkin' 'bout what he wants and just sits on his broke a$$. So no I don't want your number, no I don't want to give you mine and no I don't want to meet you no where, no I don't want none of your time..." Y'all know the rest - those chicas were cold, jack. TLC was rabble rousing the shortys before Oprah dropped into gear! I like me some T-Boz though - that voice is uniquely off the hook. I'd also be remiss if I didn't toss up a respectful shout out to Left-Eye Lo. Things just aren't the same without you, homegirl. I kinda miss those mansion burnings...



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