Wesley Not Guilty! Sort of...

Wassup, Y'all!

Okay - I'll admit. I was on the wrong side of this one. I *knew* Wesley was going to the big house for tax fraud but lo and behold, a jury of his peers decided otherwise. I'm sure that Wesley finds this strange as well since he was insisting that he couldn't get a fair trial in 'racist' Ocala, Florida. Seems to me he would have ended up with a different sentence on the southside of Chicago where brothers and sisters in barbershops and beautyshops all over were thinking the same way as Ol Ty.

So what does 'almost' not guilty mean? Well he did get convicted on three Missy Misdemeanor counts of failing to file a tax return. Those counts could lead to three years in the Graybar hotel but now it seems likely that homey will walk with just probation (or one of those symbolic 14 day sentences that they hand out like candy in LA for repeated DUIs...). Man, Blade must smilin' a toothy grin right about now. I guess it's true - NOBODY like the IRS.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Boy King Kwame to Motown: Resign? Damn That!

Wassup, Y'all!

I know, I know - but this stuff is just too juicy. It's like watchin' Jessie and Angie from 'All My Children' all over again, y'all. Anyway - you knew it was comin'. The somber, 'My Bad' from the Boy King with his kidz and faithful wife, Carlita at his side doing her best impression of Vanessa Bryant Hillary Clinton - staying strong, standin' by her man in the face of national embarrassment. That's some strong love, y'all though the Fred Sanford in me thinks it's more the lifestyle and perks she gets from ridin' Kwame's coattails, but what do I know? I'm just a brother livin' in his mama's basement.

Here's what I do know - Kwame punked out. He basically staged this photo op propaganda side show by holding it at his church and barring the press (check out the video here). Then again it was probably safer for the press to not be too close to Kwame in a church given the circumstances since indoor lightning is pretty dangerous. But you can't say Kwame didn't drop a few good ones during his non-threatening, non press conference. Check my favorites after the jump...

Kwame:
"I would never quit on you, ever. We've got a lot of work to do. And with your help, I am going to continue to lead this city in getting the work done."

Ty:
How 'bout startin' by paying back the $9 million to the City of Detroit to cover the court costs for a case that didn't have to happen?

Kwame:
"To all of you who have believed in what we have been doing in this city since 2002, to all of you who have believed in me and my leadership, to all of you who have stuck with me through difficult times, to all of you who have prayed for me, I'm sorry."

Ty:
Yes, you are.

Kwame:
[Later, when asked to drop some actual factuals about the undercover boot knockin']: "Because there are legal matters pending at this moment, unfortunately I am unable to discuss any of those issues at this time."

Ty:
Damn, that line is tired!

Kwame:
"Finally, and most importantly, I want to make a public apology to my wife, Carlita, who I fell in love with when I was 19 years old. We decided to build a family together and we did that. Our marriage has not been perfect, but it has been great."

Ty:
Great because I can knock boots with other women all around the country and she'll stay with me

Kwame:
"God bless you Detroit. I love you. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Ty:
Man, if he didn't drop Detroit in there, I'd swear he was still textin' Christine...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Kwame & Christine: The Cliff Notes Video

Wassup, Y'all!

Just a quick hit. If you're like me and like to get your info quick, fast and in a hurry, here's a nice video summary of Kwame Kilpatrick's LOL-Gate (including clips of their indignant responses in court to questions about whether they were kickin' it or not). That's Ms. Thang, Christine Beatty, gettin' her eye roll on when asked point blank about participatin' in any extra-marital boot knockin' with Boy King Kwame.

It never ceases to amaze me how folks can just do The Bold Face under oath. The good news for Kwame and Christine is that they are the early front runners for the 2008 Knucklehead of the Year Award...

So for a quick morning treat, fire up some microwave popcorn, check the vid, then show up at the water cooler today and act like a LOL-Gate expert. LOL!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Hector's Open Letter to Mike Vick

Wassup, Y'all!

I caught this heartwarming story yesterday about one of Michael Vick's former fight dogs, Hector (thanks for the toss, Lady E!). Seems Hector got a second chance thanks to the Oakland, Calif.-based pit bull rescue and education group Bay Area Doglovers Responsible About Pit bulls (BAD RAP). You can check out other members of the 'Vick Rescue Dogs' on their website, but Hector is clearly the star and most motivated of the crew. I say this because as part of my research for this post, I came across an Open Letter he recently had published in the Oakland Tribune on the occasion of Mike Vick's transfer to Leavenworth Penitentary. It follows after the jump...

Deer Mike Vick,

I sea your bit$h a$$ managed two get a transfer to Leavenworth so you can git into their drug treatment program and maybe git out a little early. That's good, cuz I'm weightin' on your a$$. Not like the Tossed Salad Man is weightin on you right now, but like Biggie said when he said 'I'm in your mama's crib weightin', duct tapin' your fam' - more like that kind of weightin'.

Me and the crew are doin' fine now. We have nice spots to sleep, regular meals (no hot sauce or gunpowder mixed in) and folks who treet us right. I'm in a good place in my life right now. And even tho the good Lord tells us that we should let it go and leave it in hiz hands - you know I can't do that. That low growl under your bed the first night you get out? That'll be me. I'd keep sleepin' with won eye open, homey, cuz ol Hector is comin'. While you're countin' down the daze until we can meat again, let me leave you with a little lullabye my boy Phil Collie from down the street put together for me. It's sung just like that Phil Collins song 'In The Air Tonight'. It's special - just four you:

"You will feel me bitin' up your a$$ tonight, oh lord
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh lord
Can you feel me biting up your a$$ tonight, oh lord, oh lord

Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend
But I dont know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been
Its all been a pack of lies

And you will feel me bitin' up your a$$ tonight, oh lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord
Can you feel me bitin' up your a$$ tonight, oh lord, oh lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh lord, oh lord"

Catchy ain't it? Hope that won sticks in your head tonight at lights out. Be seaing you.

Your Frend Hector

Woooo - I don't know about, y'all but Ol Ty thinks that Hector still sounds like he has a few unresolved anger issues! Hopefully, with time, the crew at BAD RAP will help him work through them. If not - daaaang Mike Vick! You might want to reset your countdown clock, money!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Barack & Kwame - On Opposite Endz LOL!

Wassup, Y'all!

Okay, I've got good news and bad news on this one. The so so def good news is that Smooth Barack cruised in the South Carolina Primary. Clearly the question of Smooth or Hillary has been answered among South Carolina southsiders - hopefully those margins continue to hold in the other southern states. Smooth was eloquent as always in his victory speech - continuing to push his message of unity and determination to change from years of the status quo.

Over the past weeks we've seen how much that message has resonated and encouraged folks to get to the polls and vote and today Smooth landed the coveted Kennedy endorsement. It's heartening for a homey to see a such a prominent family of change agents recognize Smooth for what he is - a breath of fresh air and a unifying, inspirational figure - haters can hate, but Ol Ty is diggin' the message.

Unfortunately, y'all - the air in Detroit these days isn't quite so fresh now that Detroit's Boy King Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's dirty laundry has hit the clothes line. You'll remember me first highlightin' some early rumored, Kwame shenanigans involving a party at the mayor's mansion, strippers and his wife deliverin' a beat down, now ol boy's caught up in what Ol Ty has affectionately dubbed 'LOL-gate'...

My text happy homeys will recognize LOL as textin' shorthand for 'Laugh Out Loud'. My boyz use it all the time. So apparently does Detroit's Mayor and his Chief of Staff, Christine 'I Just Didn't Want To Get Caught' Beatty as it popped up 13 times or so in text messages they sent to each other...on city provided pagers...while they were textin' about their undercover lover shenanigans...after having sworn under oath that they weren't kickin' it...to say nothing of the fact that Kwame is still married. I expect some time soon we'll be seeing his public financial statement just like brother Shaq's.

I havent' tested the beat of the street in Motown but my sense is that folks are hot over this one particularly because this all came out as a consequence of a lawsuit that Boy King Kwame decided not to settle. Guess he was thinkin' that would have cut into his lavish mayoral lifestyle (like those Laker game tickets he mentions in his text message or the $864/night New York Suite he cribbed at, which wasn't). Ol boy has GOT to be Public Fool #1 - LOL! The brother had so much potential too...

I see his girl Christine had the common sense to resign (video here - poignant resignation letter here). Later textin' between her and Kwame probably went somethin' like this:

CB: I'm going 2 resign
KK: Damn that! I need u 2 take the heat off me!
CB: Your wife is lookin' 4 me! I'm out! C U Sucka - LOL!
CB: Will I ever c u again?
KK: LOL! Girl, meet me Sunday after the Superbowl - Glendale Super 8 - room 1313
KK: And bring some of those Red Lobster Cheddar biscuits u know i like...LOL!

I'm thinkin' Brother Kwame should consider a similar move (but you know he won't - ol boy's ego is too massive for that. LOL!). That's just some sad a$$ news, Detroit. Couldn't vote for Smooth in the Michigan Democratic Primary and now this. Keep ya head up! Y'all still got Eminem and 8 Mile.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Innocent homey in jail for 26 years on a HUMBUG!

Wassup, Y'all!

One of my boyz forwarded this jacked up CNN story to me earlier today. If you watch enough Law & Order like me and mama do, you'll know there's a concept called 'Attorney/Client Privilege' (ACP). ACP holds that anything a client tells his attorney in private is confidential and cannot be divulged publicly until the client has died. Keep this in mind as I relate the sad a$$ story of Alton Logan, a homey from Chicago who was convicted in 1982 for killing a McDonald's security guard.

Logan professed his innocence of the crime and two attorney's knew that he was telling the truth. Why? Because their client confessed to them that he committed the crime. Yet Logan sat in jail for 26 years until their client finally died, releasing them from ACP. Damn. That ain't even right - you'd figure that ACP would have some kind of safety checks. According to attorney interviewed (not either of the ones involved in this ruckus) the only time an attorney can break ACP is if a client tells them that he's *about* to commit a crime. After the fact - it's all cool...unless you're in jail for someone elses crime.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Shaq's wife asks "Where My Money At?"

Wassup, Y'all!

You know the problem with getting divorced? There's no privacy since the proceedings have to go through public court. Case in point, Shaquille O'Neal and his soon to be ex wife Va'Shaundya are going through a divorce and what should hit the internet but Mrs. Shaq's 'Motion to Compel Sworn Financial Affidavit'? Oh snap! This is a typical move in divorces so that one spouse can see where the other spouse is spendin' their ducats.

Naturally in Shaq's case that brother has a lot of ducats to spend so it's also only natural that according to the affidavit Mrs. Shaq 'prays this court' to have Shaq pay her attorney's 'fees, costs and suit money' and 'Grant any other relief deemed just and proper'. So before Mrs. Shaq and her attorney can zero in on a just and proper dollar amount to ask for, Shaq has to show them where he's hidin' spending his money....

Based on his $1.8 million monthly salary (which seems low to me but who am I to question Sheriff Shaq?) USA Today broke down his actual financial factuals like this, y'all:

Mortgage: $156,116
Monthly electricity (utilities): $10,065
Monthly telephone: $3,345
Month food and home supplies: $12,775
Monthly cable TV: $1,495
Monthly maid service: $22,190
Monthly gasoline and oil: $24,300 (Damn those Hummers! Got to go green, baby!)
Monthly clothing: $17,220

Ty's add on's:

Monthly Gifts: $60, 417 (how do I get on Shaq's gift list??)
Monthly Vacations: $110, 505 (Man, does Jay-Z roll like this?)

Monthly electric $10,065!?? Man, what I'm I complaining about? And how the hell can cable cost $1,495 a month? What kind of jacked up Comcast package is that? Finally, $17 grand for clothes...a month! Now I've seen Shaq's suits and I know the Goodwill doesn't charge that much even for their best stuff.

Sounds like the oke-doke is going on to me, Shaunie! My advice is to get your lawyers to dig a little deeper. After all, this is for the kidz!

The good news from all this? The NBA pays medical and dental, y'all! Now that's employer love. The bad news for Shaq? After totaling income and expenses, ol boy still has a surplus of $450 grand a month. Hmmm...subtract $449,995 a month for Shaunie and the kidz and I guess Shaq will have to trade in that Hummer for a Hyundai. I'll refer y'all back to another of my timely posts on this topic...

Man, can't we all just get along?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Ty's Glossy of the Week: Erykah Badu

I have no words, y'all. You can't say this sister isn't an original. Not only is she kickin' the amoeba 'fro, she's also rockin' the Fearless Flys! Clearly she needs the power from those glasses to keep her head upright. No need to call Tyrone (no relation) - he's up in that 'fro too :-) You can check out the whole Badu glossy collection at Splash News...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Obama v. Clinton drops into THIRD gear...

Wassup, Y'all!

Wow - the gloves are off. After watching last night's debate and seeing that high level of rancor develop between Smooth Barack and Hillary Clinton (all of which was instigated by Hillary), you know that all chances of that 'mythical Obama/Clinton or Clinton/Obama ticket' are all but gone. Not that it would have happened anyway as I'm sure neither would appreciate takin' a back seat to the other but it's clear now that old school politics, perfected by the Bushes and Clintons, is still the order of the day.

That Hillary was quick to drop into the mud and obscure the real issues with her divisive side tracks into Smooth's record rather than standing on her own record and accomplishments, speaks volumes of the type of Presidency she would perpetrate. It's gonna be the same old mess we've had served up for nearly 16 years. No attempt to unite parties or minds (which you need to get anything done), no attempt to broaden the Democratic base, just the same polarizing politics that have gotten us to where we are today...

Clearly old girl didn't listen to a word of Smooth's speech delivered at Atlanta's famed Ebenezer Baptist Church - home church of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In another stirring speech, Smooth said the following:

"So let us say that on this day of all days, each of us carries with us the task of changing our hearts and minds. The division, the stereotypes, the scape-goating, the ease with which we blame our plight on others - all of this distracts us from the common challenges we face - war and poverty; injustice and inequality. We can no longer afford to build ourselves up by tearing someone else down. We can no longer afford to traffic in lies or fear or hate. It is the poison that we must purge from our politics; the wall that we must tear down before the hour grows too late."

More and more the choice on the Democratic side is this:

Choice A: I can beat the Republicans in November
Choice B: I can unite the country (and by doing so beat the Republicans in November)

Is that really even a choice?

Man - Bill and Hillary are pretty much using up all the 'good will' reserve they had built up with me. I wonder if the southside nation is beginning to feel the same way?? I'm sure Bill's cat nap during Martin Luther King, III's remarks yesterday at the Convent Avenue Baptist Church in Harlem can't help that cause...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Martin Luther King Day

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word."

Martin Luther King, Jr.
1929 - 1968

Peace@Least,

Tyrone