Smooth Barack and the coming storm...

Wassup, Y'all!

I'm feelin' it, y'all. That calm before the storm when all hell breaks loose. Like the brief time before the verdicts were announced in Simi Valley after the Rodney King trial. Like the uncomfortable moments during the 2000 general election when Florida first went to Al Gore then got taken back off the board because it was 'too close to call' and then eventually got awarded to Bush. I hope I'm wrong on this one, but I don't like the way things are shaping up with this 'too close to call' primary battle between Smooth Barack and Hillary.

The stakes are sky high (who thinks, given the passion on the democratic side, that the democratic nominee won't go on to win the general election in a walk?) and I get the sense that even if Smooth has a delegate lead going into the convention but hasn't reached the magic number of 2,025 that political maneuvering featuring superdelegates and illegitimate votes from Michigan and Florida will hijack the nomination and split the party going into November...

There are two components to this perfect storm - Smooth Barack's overwhelming support within the southside community and our hypersensitivity to injustice - perceived or real. When Smooth announced his candidacy, the thinkin' was 'that's nice, but I'm pretty sure the nation isn't ready for a southside candidate'. Then came Iowa and everybody's hair stood straight up. No sooner had that shock worn off then Super Tuesday showed beyond a shadow of a doubt that the nation was indeed ready for a southside President. Just trying to assimilate that fact given our nation's past history was sobering - at least for me, y'all. That's an amazing realization after seeing and experiencing so much racial negativity.

Now no sooner have we reconciled ourselves with the fact that now could be the time, then there's the specter of the shoe we were all expecting to drop hovering just out of sight. The shoe, in this case, is our resigned belief that there's no way the 'powers that be' would ever let a black man ever get elected President and that, at the eleventh hour, some chicanery would take place to ensure that remained the case.

Hopefully, it won't happen and I'm heartened to see that other members of the southside nation are beginning to consider this dire possibility as well, but if it should happen, if Smooth Barack is denied the nomination despite playing the game fairly, there's going to be some molten hot anger spewing out of the southside nation. I can see the party trying to mute that by throwing Smooth the bone of the Vice Presidency, but in my mind, that will be too little too late and there will be a backlash felt at the polls in November.

I can live with a legitimate defeat at the convention. If Hillary has the states, votes and pledged delegates - I'm 100% behind her in the fall. But if there's some skulduggery going on, some backroom shenanigans going on, a hot mess going on - ol Ty (and I expect most of the southside nation) will have some long, hard thinking to do at the polls in November.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

TheRoot.com: Another point of view

Wassup, Y'all!

Lady E. hipped a brother to a new website called theRoot, a bit ago. theRoot is a new, online, southside news outlet that 'blends black perspectives and news from around the world with an interactive genealogical section, creating an online destination devoted to the black experience'. Hmmm...I thought that I was doing this but clearly, Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive, the outfit behind theRoot, has decided to take ol Ty on. Man, where's my vaseline?...

The site's been up since January 28th and I have to grudgingly admit that I like what I see so I'll have to holler at them to get The Urban Eye linked in to help them out with some massive web traffic :-)

I popped over there today and caught two interesting articles, one on how it's becoming increasing difficult for southside supporters of Hillary Clinton to 'sell' her to the southside nation. Clearly these supporters aligned themselves with Sister Hill before the South Carolina Democratic Primary permanently dispelled the notion that she could in anyway split the southside vote. As Smooth Barack moves on, his support within the southside nation is the epitome of rock solid.

The other article is the perfect bookend for my most recent two posts about Beyonce Giselle and Aretha Franklin. Apparently, Aretha took exception to BG's introduction of her 'idol' Tina Turner when she referred to her as 'The Queen'. Let me just say this about that. First, I thought BG and Tina's joint performance was tight. I can't believe that homegirl is 68 (Tina, not Beyonce, y'all)!!

Second, you have to give Tina some title, maybe Empress of Soul or something but everybody knows there's only one Queen and one Godfather so BG will need to look over her shoulder for a while while this thing cools off. If homegirl gets mysteriously bumped off any time soon, I expect the method will be death by smothering and the murder weapons will be Aretha's...don't make me say it, y'all. You know where I'm going with this. Anyway, Aretha! BG! Chill that nonsense - y'all sisters just need to get along.

Give theRoot.com a peep, y'all. I think you'll like what you see.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Measuring Beauty: Beyonce & Robin Roberts

Wassup, Y'all!

We have to admit it - we live in a very superficial society where looks dictate in large measure, how popular, successful and admired you'll be. The pressure on shortys to measure up is pretty overwhelming. It would have to be if 21% of 1,000 respondents to a Fitness Magazine poll said they would be willing to give up 10 years of their lives to be an 'ideal' weight. Think about that.

It doesn't get any better for shortys today as guys all over the world flock to newsstands to pick up the coveted 2008 Sport's Illustrated Swimsuit Issue - a publishing event that seems to gets just a bit less coverage than the Superbowl. Think about that. The most popular feature, in the most popular issue of a national sports magazine isn't even related to sports. I'm not hatin', homeys, I'll be shoulder to shoulder with you at the newsstand today, but at least ol Ty is questioning the effect of his actions....

Recently I happened across two articles on shortys on opposite ends of the superficiality scale - Jay-Z's girl Beyonce Giselle and GMA co-anchor Robin Roberts. We know BG rarely makes a step out in public without the weave hair, makeup and clothes tight. I also found it a little funny that Ol girl was quoted last year sayin', 'I'm just jealous that I wasn't born Latina. I wish I had been because the culture is so beautiful'. Clearly BG isn't tapped into any Black History Month programs because her own culture is just as beautiful.

Robin Roberts, on the other hand, has just finished up chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer and, as part of GMA's, 'I Dare You' series she walked the catwalk at Isaac Mizrahi's Fall 2008 Collection show in NYC - arguably one of the most superficial events on the NYC social calendar - without her wig. Now to be a shorty, in that venue, and make a move like that - how much heart does that take? That's a move and a message that I think speaks volumes about her character and where superficiality fits in her life. I think we'd all do better if it fit in the same spot in ours.

I got to give it up to homegirl for that one. You go Rob-Rob!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Why Aretha Needs a Good Girlfriend

Wassup, Y'all!

At the risk of gettin' blasted by my southside shortys, I'm gonna have to say it. You know Aretha's will always be the Queen of Soul, but ol girl needs to lose some weight! Carrying all that around just ain't healthy. Now I'm already missin' me some Luther and Barry White, so I sure don't want to pick up a paper tomorrow and read about how Aretha passed from something that could have been preventable....

Unfortunately ol Ty didn't get a chance to catch the Grammy's last night but I did see the clips of Tina rollin' on the river with Beyoncé Giselle and Kanye rockin' the house with his Herbie Hancock Rockit reminiscent performance of Stronger. Can't say that brother aint creative, haaaaterrrrs! Ironically, Herbie upset Kanye (and a very tatted up Amy Winehouse) for Album of The Year. I haven't heard any cryin' yet, so I'm guessin' he's satisfied with the four Grammy's he did win. Even Smooth Barack got himself a Grammy for his reading of his book 'The Audacity of Hope'. I'm sure that's killin' Hillary the most.

I see my boy Prince won Best Male R&B Vocal Performance for 'Future Baby Mama'. I hadn't heard that joint until this morning, but I'm likin' it cuz it's got an old school 70's vibe to it. I'm also glad to see that my boy Gerald Levert got a posthumous Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance Grammy for 'In My Songs'. I miss that brother too, y'all.

That's why I'm askin' for Aretha's girlfriends to step up and help ol girl back away from those biscuits (*and* help her out with some fashion choices cuz one day, one of those bad boyz is gonna break loose and cause some serious property damage - y'all know what I'm talkin' about - don't act all ignorant). Food can be an addiction too so it ain't just Britney and Amy who need lookin' after. I want to see her performing for years to come, just like Tina.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Dennis Haysbert Reads Ty!

Wassup, Y'all!

Well, at least that's my unconfirmed view. You see, D-Hays (who now stars in 'The Unit' on CBS, which is a pretty good show) played President David Palmer on the hit Fox show '24' and in a recent TV Guide interview he mused on the effect his fictitious presidential portrayal had on Smooth Barack's real presidential run. D-Hay summed his thoughts up thusly - "As far as the public is concerned, it did open up their minds and their hearts a little bit to the notion that if the right man came along… that a black man could be president of the United States". My reaction to this after the jump...

Man, you could have knocked ol Ty over with a feather since I dropped this original concept almost a year ago. So clearly D-Hays read my post then waited a judicious amount of time to try and claim the idea as his own. Nice try D-Hays, but you know I'm always on it, homey! Anyway, I feel the same way now as I did then - images are powerful and television is an extremely pervasive and influential medium. The big screen is as well and Morgan Freeman did Smooth a solid with his on time presidential performance in Deep Impact - though when the chips were down and it was clear a meteor was going to hit the earth, M-Free left a cloud of dust behind his hasty exit to safety...).

Even James Earl Jones got into the presidential act in 'The Man' when he is propelled into office unexpectedly when the sitting President and Speaker of the House are killed and the Vice President is too infirm to take office. As the Senate President pro tempore the job suddenly falls to him. It's a good book and a pretty good movie if y'all have some time to check it out.

In the meantime, I'm waitin' on my props from D-Hays. The least homey could do is break me off a royalty check. You did it for Smooth (campaign donation), you can do it for me! D-Hays! Don't be tight, brother. I'm right outside by mama's mailbox waitin', dude.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Chris Rock & Queen Latifah SNL Parodies

Wassup, Y'all!

See? This is just like the Grammys. The year you watch that joint, the show is about as boring as a State Of The Union address, but the year you miss them? The next day at work EVERYBODY is talkin' about how good it was and did you see how so and so opened the show, blah, blah, blah. Well Saturday Night Live is just the same.

Most Saturday nights when I dedicated some time to watch that joint, it's dry, corny and tired (except Weekend Update, which is normally pretty funny). Now over the last two days I've seen two clips from the show that make me yearn for the good old days of SNL. Both are too funny and, in what makes satire so good, soooo true.

I figure that after all the recent politics it's time to get your laugh back on so here're Chris Rock's 2008 Political Analysis and Queen Latifah's testimony on the trials of being a southsider at the office. Both clips are fairly safe for work if you keep the volume low but they're best enjoyed at home with friends and family :-)

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Obama v. Clinton: Split Decision

Wassup, Y'all!

Wow - after 22 hard fought rounds states it's clear that the Smooth Barack 'Yes We Can' Express is still on track and has plenty of steam. Smooth posted impressive wins in 13 of the 22 states despite my westside homeys breaking for Hillary and helping her win in Cali. That's a trend Smooth needs to work on since the westsiders have a lot of clout in Texas, whose March 4th primary boasts 228 delegates. The good news is that Smooth has time and tall cheddar on his side so he can swing by the mall and pick up a set of those Rosetta Stone Spanish CDs (tho Ol Ty prefers the less pretentious Learning Spanish Like Crazy Homey Edition...). A little hablo español never hurt anybody. ¿Entiende usted?

The vote validates Smooth's broad, national appeal across all demographics so the notion that he's not electable is dead and I liked the way he stated the case in his speech last night on why he would be a better candidate against the presumptive Republican nominee, John McCain. The distinctions between the two couldn't be broader.

Lookin' forward to the Saturday contests!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Go (Ba)Rock the Vote Tomorrow!

Wassup, Y'all!

For those of you in the 22 Super Tuesday states be sure to hit the polls tomorrow. You know who Ol Ty is votin' for and y'all need to be votin' the same way! I'm just playin' - do what your heart tells you, just be sure to vote! And since I'm not above tryin' to influence your vote tomorrow - here's a little something put together by will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas called the 'Yes We Can Obama Song'. It's a music video mash up filmed in black and white (any symbolism in that??) and featuring a bevy of stars riffin' off of Smooth's 'Yes We Can' speech he gave the night he lost the New Hampshire Democratic Primary. Contributors include will.i.am, Common, John Legend, Kareem (where you been Kareem?), Tatyana Ali ((not so) little Ashley Banks from The Fresh Prince), Harold Perrineau (Lost), Aisha Tyler (24) and a host of others.

It's an eclectic mix but worth a peep - check it. That's the grassroots working, y'all.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

How you feelin' now, Tiki?

Wassup, Y'all!

As I was watchin' the New York football Giants shock the world by delivering a beat down to the formerly undefeated New England Patriots, Ol Ty couldn't help but wonder what former Giant's running back Tiki Barber was feelin' as he watched his teammates from last season celebrate their well deserved Superbowl victory. If you'll remember, back in August Tiki was quick to throw Eli Manning under the bus by questioning his leadership skills, going as far as to call homey's pre-game motivational speeches 'comical'. Word is he took the low road even lower by recruiting his twin brother, Ronde, to join him on his Sirius radio show, The Barber Shop, to continue publicly crackin' on Lil Eli.

Well, you know the saying, 'He who laughs last, laughs best' so I'm sure Eli is crackin' up at Tiki's dumb a$$ right about now over those words and the fact that when the Giants pick up their Superbowl rings at the beginning of next season, Tiki will be in the studio picking the last bits of crow from his teeth. Not that Tiki didn't have a few words last night while checkin' out the Playboy party in Chandler, AZ. Before headin' into the party, he said, "Damn, I'm so stupid. If I could have reigned in my ego, I'd be a Superbowl champ right now I made my decision for personal reasons. I haven't looked back."

No, Tiki - the looking back actually starts today, cousin. Be sure to catch that Eli Manning Disney World commercial, homey. It's pretty heartwarming...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Wesley Not Guilty! Sort of...

Wassup, Y'all!

Okay - I'll admit. I was on the wrong side of this one. I *knew* Wesley was going to the big house for tax fraud but lo and behold, a jury of his peers decided otherwise. I'm sure that Wesley finds this strange as well since he was insisting that he couldn't get a fair trial in 'racist' Ocala, Florida. Seems to me he would have ended up with a different sentence on the southside of Chicago where brothers and sisters in barbershops and beautyshops all over were thinking the same way as Ol Ty.

So what does 'almost' not guilty mean? Well he did get convicted on three Missy Misdemeanor counts of failing to file a tax return. Those counts could lead to three years in the Graybar hotel but now it seems likely that homey will walk with just probation (or one of those symbolic 14 day sentences that they hand out like candy in LA for repeated DUIs...). Man, Blade must smilin' a toothy grin right about now. I guess it's true - NOBODY like the IRS.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone