Spike and Denzel holdin' out on Smooth Barack

Wassup, Y'all!

Now that Smooth has a little wind at his back (I'm callin' my peeps in NH and askin' them to vote twice today) folks are takin' note of who's been chippin' into his campaign coffers. Turns out that to-date movie boyz Spike Lee and Denzel Washington have popped up on the 'talk is cheap' ledger, having been recently outed as non donors to the Smooth campaign. Actually, Denzel's wife, Paulette did chip in a nice sized check but apparently she did the smart thing and signed her name to it. That way she can be assured of an ambassadorship to Paris or Tahiti while Denzel will be assured of getting his tax returns audited every year and Spike will begin to find that his filming licenses start to get strangely rejected every year. Y'all know you got to pay to play! Denzel! Spike! Stop being tight and go 'head and break a bit off for Smooth. You can't take it with you!

Also named in the tight 'Hey, it's *my* money' list: Diddy, Jay-Z & B. (wait 'til those 40/40 clubs start losing their liquor licenses!). On the bandwagon and waiting for their ambassadorships: Will Smith and Eddie Murphy (he only *plays* a donkey, y'all).

The rest of y'all better not wait too late. There is no CP time in politics!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Texas Cannibal Embarrasses Ty!

Wassup, Y'all!

Man, just when ol Ty was gettin' all righteous over Dallas County's jacked up record of convicting innocent men and how they need to rethink their use of the death penalty along comes Christopher McCuin, a 24 year old southside fool from Tyler, Texas who allegedly bludgeoned his 21 year old girl friend to death, cut her up, then called the police so they could come to his crib and find "...a human ear boiling in a stovetop pan and raw flesh on a nearby plate, with a fork stuck in it."

Needless to say - if the charges prove true, Ol Ty has no qualms with strappin' his Hannibal Lecter butt to either Ol Sparky or Ol Spike, The Magic Cocktail.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Stick and Move: Ty finally saw I Am Legend

Wassup, Y'all!

I know, I know, but I was busy, y'all. You have no idea the time it takes me to roll out of bed every morning!

Anyway, I did get a chance to peep I Am Legend on Friday and if you connect with the movie behind the movie (and stop all that woofin' about weak special effects) that joint is pretty haunting. I like movies that put somethin' on your mind and have you leavin' the theater ponderin' some things. 'Legend' did that for me. Big Willy did his thing so there was enough action to keep things flowin', but the idea that scientists could put together a 'cancer curing virus' and start using it without fully understanding what the side effects were kinda reminds me of the type of ethically dubious and dangerous genetic engineering going on today. In 'Legend', this type of experimentation led to the death of 90% of the world's population and the mutation of another 9%. Now, I'm in the theater absorbin' this horrific 'what-if' scenario after readin' a real article about South Korean scientists cloning cats that glow...

Just the lead paragraph to that article was enough to have me on the pot for most of the day, y'all:

"...they have cloned cats whose genes have been altered so that they glow in the dark - taking advantage of a technological twist that could someday be used to make more dramatic genetic changes in all sorts of creatures."

For those of y'all who haven't see the movie - I recommend you read that article, THEN go see 'Legend' and tell me if you don't leave the theater with your hair standin' up. That joint is bleak, sad, cautionary and very much worth a peep. 2.5 Spinners.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Dallas County Gets It Wrong Again

Wassup, Y'all!

Yeah, I know we're all flushed with excitement over Smooth Barack's campaign momentum. In that regard, the clock has moved ahead a bit, but deep in the heart of Texas, the clock is still stuck in the past. Last week's news that 'Dallas County's record-setting list of innocent inmates cleared by DNA testing grew to 15' comes as no surprise given Texas' cowboy 'convict first, ask questions later' mentality. The latest homey set free is Charles Chatman, a southsider accused of raping a northside woman who picked him out of a line up (note to self: follow up with homegirl to see how she's feeling about willingly helping to put an innocent man in prison...). Chatman, 21 at the time of his 99 year conviction, emerged 26 years later predictable 'bitter and angry'. My view is that he, along with the 14 others exonerated by DNA testing, are lucky they aren't dead...

This is why people question the merits of the death penalty. Sure there are people who are custom made for the death penalty - serial killers, child predators, etc., but if you can't guarantee that the person you're putting to death is guilty then you can't justify imposing that sentence. In my opinion, there are too many variable - race, social status, income level, etc. which make the justice system anything but blind.

Jeff blackburn, the founder of the Innocence Project of Texas, the outfit that helped spring Chatman, put it best when he said, "It is time we stop kidding ourselves in believing that what happened in Dallas is somehow unique. What happened in Dallas is common. This is Texas."

Texas may be blatent offender #1 with this type of sloppy, hot-headed justice, but they're not the only one, and I guess I have to give Dallas County a little credit for even maintaining the DNA evidence from past cases that was later used to help spring these guys but given this news, I have to believe that there's a percentage of inmates who have been put to death in the Lone Star State with a situation exactly similar to Chatman's and how jacked up is that?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Eddie Jumps The Broom

Wassup, Y'all!

While lookin' like he's already ready for his Fantasy Island close up donkey Eddie Murphy married the former Mrs. Babyface, Tracey Edmonds in Bora Bora over the weekend. The remote south pacific location was a surprise. The fact that they only invited 25 guests was a surprise. That they married on a beach at sunset on New Years day was a surprise. Not surprising? That the happy couple chartered a private jet to their idyllic nuptials and that Johnny Gill was Eddie's best man. Hmmm...now ol boy had the PERFECT venue to quash all those rumors about being gay and having a little somethin' somethin' goin' on with J-Gill but...

Hey, I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. I'm speculatin' that Scary Spice Eddie's baby's mama, Mel B. pulled him back from the brink but that the transition back was so traumatic that he couldn't hang with ol girl anymore. J-Gill is really just a security blanket now - like that unopened pack of unfiltered Camels in the back of a new non-smoker's freezer. Hopefully Eddie won't need to crack the pack in the middle of the night.

Crazy in love or on the ultra, Mission Impossible level down low? Either way is cool but if it's the latter - Eddie, man to your own self be true! Holler back with your thoughts.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Smooth Barack Makes It Do What It Do, Baby

Wassup, Y'all!

Wow. Who knew? I'm figuring at one point only Smooth Barack and 'Chelle Obama knew, but it's pretty safe to say that after his convincing win in Iowa tonight, pretty much everybody will know by tomorrow. One thing's for sure, y'all - this is going to be one interesting a$$ election. Finally.

It's also interesting to note that Smooth's victory came in a state that's 90%+ northside. That's a fact that speaks to his broad appeal - appeal that ol boy is really going to need when he starts campaigning in southern states which tend not to feel a homey of his racial or political persuasion. That's when things will really get interesting.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Stick and Move: Ty on Brandy & Wesley

Wassup, Y'all!

After all kind of ruckus goin' on in LA related to Rum Brandy runnin' into another driver on the freeway and that other driver subsequently dying, it turns out that the LA City Attorney has decided not to file vehicular manslaughter charges against Ray-J's sister. In a jacked up move, ol boy waited until the last day before the statute of limitations on the potential crime ran out - talk about lettin' somebody twist in the wind...although that's pretty much what Brandy's career's been doin' so she should be used to it. Man, I'm just playin'.

Who's not playin' however is Gangster Sam with Wesley Snipe's race card droppin' behind....

In Noxema's latest attempts to get away with doin' wrong, Gangster Sam's Consigliere U.S. District Judge William T. Hodges uttered a clear and succinct, "Oh I don't think so" to Noxema's request for a change a venue for his federal tax evasion trial. Noxema's was trying to get the trial moved to New Jack York City where's he better known as crack kingpin Nino Brown. Apparently he believes that he can better intimidate witnesses there opposed to Ocala, Florida - a venue that he continues to believe will drop the hammer on him because he's guilty a southsider.

Getcha popcorn ready!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

NAACP! What's up with the 2007 Heat Index?

Wassup, Y'all!

I demand a recount! USA Today is pubbin' their 2007 Heat Index which 'chronicles weekly gossip magazine, TV ratings and Web traffic to see which celebrities were getting the most attention'. The first southsider, Oprah Winfrey' clocks in at #17! That's one spot before Tom and Katie's crumb snatcher Suri Cruise and well behind such celebrity knuckleheads as Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and list number one - Brickny. Way down in the Top 50 list is Kanye West (one spot above perennial knucklehead OJ Simpson) and interestingly Brad and Angelina's natural born daughter Shiloh somehow managed to come in well above Angelina's first adopted daughter Zahara...hmmmm. I'm not sayin' y'all - I'm just sayin'. Is the NAACP on holiday or what?

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Will Smith, Adolf and a trippin' JDL

Wassup, Y'all!

Holy Jewish Black Panthers, Batman! Big Willy Style is still feeling heat from the Jewish Defense League which apparently takes it's role as seriously as the Black Panthers once took theirs. Big Willy was recently quoted saying, "Even Hitler didn't wake up going, 'let me do the most evil thing I can do today.' I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good." Of course, 'Hitler', like the N-word is a political third rail - only to be uttered with the greatest of caution and best of intentions. Clearly, it's not like Big Willy was praising Hitler in any way, yet in a twisted 'Whisper Down The Lane' effect, his quote got his a$$ into hot water anyway...

About two seconds later, celebrity gossip websites were posting that Big Willy thought that Hitler was a good cat. Big Willy, who has taken focused pains to cultivate both his image and his career, immediately snapped back with a well put "It is an awful and disgusting lie. It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen. I am incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such ludicrous misinterpretation. Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet"

Hmmm...sounds good enough for ol Ty and apparently it was good enough for the more mainstream Jewish Anti-Defamation League (ADL). They heard his statement, said they were cool with it and called it day. The more militant Jewish Defense League, however, preferred to keep this nonsense brewing by issuing a backhanded slap across Big Willy's neck.

At any rate, I think it's safe to say that Big Willy will steer clear of any Hitler references in the future, just as northsiders should probably steer clear of any discussions of genetic intelligence difference between races or justifications for hanging nooses from trees. There are always better arguments to be made elsewhere with better, less emotionally charged examples. That fact is colorblind.

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

Happy Boxing Day

Wassup, Y'all!

Happy holidays! I'm finally settled in my auntie's basement in FL and managed to survive Christmas without a scratch. The fam was overly generous this year (mama kicked in four months free rent!) so Ol Ty will be outfittin' my Chicago basement pad with a few new gadgets once I figure out what they'll be. Perhaps one should be one of those cloning machines like the one in the movie 'Multiplicity'. That would be handy so I could work for the man *and* chill up in the basement writing. Of course the clone would be doin' the working. Speaking of which, I notice my Holiday's of The World calandar says that today is 'Boxing Day' - a UK centric holiday where employers give their employees gifts...

We all know that these days employers tend to think that your job is their gift to you but that kind of thinkin' remains straight tacky. However, this does have me ponderin' whether the colonial northsiders ever celebrated Boxing Day with their slave southsiders here in the U.S.? You know, since the founding fathers did come from the UK and all. Somehow I doubt it, but I'll need to dig into the national basement archives to see what the actual factuals are on that.

In the meantime, I hope y'all got what you were lookin' for yesterday and that you're enjoying a little downtime before the rat race begins again on January 2nd. Thanks for all of your reading time and comments over the past year!!

Peace@Least,

Tyrone