Monday, October 13, 2008

Drop Squad Call: Professional Southside Athletes

Wassup, Y'all!

I know y'all have been lookin' for a brother - my fault on that. Ol Ty had a couple welcomed crumb snatchers underfoot for few and I definitely have to give up to all y'all parents out there - daaaaaaaang! Anyway, my normal Sunday ritual is to OD on football. Yes, y'all - ol Ty is a BIG football fan, but I had to admit that after readin' an article in USA Today a couple days ago that featured quotes from a number of southside NFL players sayin' that they were 'conflicted' on who to vote for in the presidential election, I had to look at those numb skulls through a new set of kool-aid glasses.

You have to figure that 9/10 of these conflicted brothers come from middle to lower class backgrounds - precisely the demographic that would benefit most from a Smooth Barack Administration, but now because they're makin', 'Repubican money', suddenly they're 'conflicted' on who to vote for. What kind of bush league, self-centered bull$hit is this??....

Y'all can read this tomfoolery for yourselves and hopefully it will make you as mad as it did me. Maybe I'm reading this from the wrong side, but Ol Ty agrees with Smokin' Joe Biden's contention that those with more should shoulder more of the burden to help provide for those who have less and are tryin' to make their way into the 'have more' camp. You can even make an argument that it's the 'patriotic' thing to do - helpin' to keep the fabric of the country strong. Isn't it inscribed on the Statue of Liberty to, 'Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free'?

Let me break this down another way, particularly since our professional athletic homeys are so well paid (and we all know it not just the NFL homeys poppin' this ridiculous yang):

Let's say Joe Rag makes $1 and needs to get a double cheeseburger from McDonald's $1 menu to feed he and his young son. Let's also say that Joe Pro makes $12 and needs to get a dozen double cheeseburgers cuz he knows he'll be hungry on the drive home from the stadium. Before they get into McDonald's to order, Tax Man shows up and demands his cut. Under Smooth's tax plan, Joe Rag won't be affected so he can get his burger and he and his son can split it before they have to sign into the homeless shelter that night. Joe Pro, on the other hand, will feel a bit of tax bite that will cause him to only be able to get 10 double cheeseburgers instead of 12. Sure he'll be a little more hungry on the drive home, but he still gets a good meal. Flip the script and use the Citizen McCain tax plan and Joe Rag goes without his burger and Joe Pro gets 14 burgers instead of 12. Do you really need to think about this?

I could more so understand that 'Republican Money' argument from the folks making a little over $250,000 than I can from anyone making more than $5+ million a year. Now, there could be a little bit of hater-ness mixed up in this post since Ol Ty isn't makin' that kind of paper, but I'd like to think that if I was, I'd remember my humble beginnings enough to 'share the wealth'. It's not like 98% of these boyz come from 'old money' - they're all new jack millionaires so their memories of humble beginnings are less than a generation away. They ain't no Rockefellers or Carnegies or Waltons or Buffets!! So here's Ty's advice to those southside professional athletes still on the fence 22 damn days out from the election: Get your minds right and start thinking bigger than yourselves....and hook Ol Ty up with a couple pair of those Air Force Ones with the red stripe. You don't need 12 pairs of those joints either!



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