Saturday, May 14, 2005

Chappelle's Show: South Africa

Wassup, Y'all!

Just a few days after my Where's Dave Chappelle, B*tch post, news is percolatin' that the host of my favorite comedy show is cold chillin' in South Africa! Problem is that according to Entertainment Weekly he's not there mining new material for the show, he's there getting a personal tour of one of their mental health facilities. Is it me or is anyone else getting that whole Richard-Pryor-running-down-the-street-on-fire vibe?...

Hopefully it's nothing really serious but if it is, you still have to give Dizzy Dave the props for keeping the cheddar in the community by opting to get his electro-shock therapy in Soweto instead of out at the trendy Betty Ford Clinic like those other glitzy Hollywood types. That fact alone tells me that Dave's gonna be all right.

Yet something tells me it wasn't all Dave's decision. A move like this has The Ni**er Pixie written all over it, y'all.
Knowing Dave, that brother was probably already two steps away from assimilatin' into the color blind, fat stack, 'New Money' crowd who all have the Betty Ford Clinic on speed dial. I can see Dave's handlers pulling up to the gates with him in the back under a Martha Stewart Collections twill blanket when the Ni**ger Pixie pops in there with him cackling:

"Ni**ger, what the *&%$ on your mind! What the %#&* did this old a** white lady ever do for you?? Nothing, that's what! Now what you need to do is get your skinny, broke down a** over to South Africa, ni**ga. Get you some of that Nelson Mandela discipline cuz yo a** is soft, ni**a. Soft! Look at you - sittin' on $50 million and can't even get out of your Martha Stewart bathrobe and sweat socks. Ni**ga, we use to raise a family of twelve on $4.50 a week and some government cheese! Now go get yo a** on a plane, ni**ga and work it out!"

Or something along those lines. Whatever's going on down in Cape Town, let's hope it works. After Richard Pryor's personal and physical trials and Robin Harris' untimely death, we damn sure don't need another bright comedic light short circuited (unless it's Shawn or Marlon Wayans...). Knowin' Dave, he'll arrive back in the US after a couple months married to Winnie Mandela...



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