Sunday, May 08, 2005

The Chosen One: Stuck On Stupid

Wassup, Y'all!

I read it and I listened to it but I *still* can't believe that four star knucklehead Kellen Winslow Jr., proported tight end for the Cleveland Browns, jacked himself up riding a motorcycle. And if the reports that started circulating yesterday are accurate, it looks like after only playing two games for Cleveland last year before breaking his leg, he could be done for this season before it even starts. Quite an inauspicious debut for the self anointed 'Chosen One'...

Now let's excuse the fact that he was already recovering from a broken leg *and* had a 'no motorcycle riding' clause in his 6 year, $40 million dollar contract (which he held out of camp to get), yet he still decided that it'd be okay to buy a motorcycle and discover the hard way that he had no riding skillz to speak of. Doofus. Matter of fact, if you read the unofficial jibber jabber from's rumor mill, the mystery surrounding TCO's injuries is even more ominous with speculation percolatin' that old boy may be done for good. Even if that's not the case, after already missing out on $5.3 million in bonus money because of his lack of playing time last season, indications are that Cleveland will ask for some of his signing bonus cheddar back to the tune of $4.4 million. And they say you can't put a price on stupidity... When I first read's satire on knucklehead tight ends (Jeremy Shockey Passes A**hole Torch To Kellen Winslow Jr.). I thought old boy's take was funny but a little cold. With this recent turn of events, it's amazing just how psychic he was...

So now TCO joins that other resident non-motorcycle ridin' big money athlete Jay Williams who managed to play one season for the Chicago Bulls, cry through the second half of that season about how he wanted to be trading because he couldn't play his style of basketball, then hop on a motorcycle for his first ride and lose a smack down with a light pole. He was lucky to even live through that one and even luckier not to have his mangled leg amputated. He hasn't been on the court since and the Bulls bought his big money contract out for $3 million...

I'm not gettin' it, y'all. Is it that hard to wait until after your career to do all the things your contract says you shouldn't? Shame, shame. Anyway, I thought I'd drop a final glossy for TCO and Jay to remind them that the movie Biker Boyz was just that - a movie!

TCO/Jay: note that even Orlando Jones and Lawrence Fishburne are just chillin' in the spot *talking* about riding their crotch rockets. My bad for droppin' this post just a tad bit too late fellas...

Larry to OB:
Dude - you think any knuckleheads think
we're doing this for real?



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