Monday, May 02, 2005

The Drunk Shortys Strike Back...

Wassup, Y'all!

First, no I wasn't at the club with these two shortys when this picture was taken. Second, yes I did try to find a glossy of some south side shortys getting their drink on but... Anyway, I'm sure both the homeboys and the homegirls in the Malone Zone are familiar with the heinous scam of a homeboy spiking a shorty's drink when's she's not looking. That would be the same felonious fool who is always looking for a shortcut - cheating on tests instead of studying, lifting dollars from their mama's purse instead of working, stealing snacks out the mini mart instead of buying them, drugging women for sex instead of stepping to them correctly and rolling the dice. Well ladies, it looks like the days of innocently sipping cosmos with the girls only to wake up twelve hours later in a seedy Tijuana motel with no money and no clothes is coming to a welcome close...

Engadget is propping the story of a novel new drinking glass that virtually eliminates the ability of someone to tamper with the liquid inside. It's hollow - think of a smaller glass inside of a larger one with your alcoholic beverage of choice poured in the space between them. The gap is sealed and you can only quaff your drink by inserting a custom nozzle. Might not be as elegant as a martini glass, but if your goal is safely drinking and partying in mixed company until the cows come home, you may want to check this bad boy out.

Personally, the thrill of the chase is half the excitement of mingling with shortys in the first place! There's the suave approach, the text book slide onto the vacant bar stool, the shorty eye roll followed quickly by the 'talk to the hand' move. Yeah - it can be a chore, but for every eye roll and napkin with the state prison switchboard number scrawled on it, there are those cute 'diamond in the rough' shortys willing to gamble a few minutes to listen to your material. Drop it right, with just the right combination of humor and confidence and no knock out drops will be required to get to where you want to go. Because lets be honest fellas - you know it won't stop with the tamper-proof cocktail glass. Be thankful that bad boy was invented by a dude - it's a *passive* countermeasure. We all know there are shorty inventors out there right now working on *active* countermeasures to take down felonious fools, you know how they do. It's just a matter of time before those stun gun panties and bear trap bras come on the market. So do yourself a favor - hone your game now and learn to step correct. The limb you save could be your own...

Peace@Least,

Tyrone

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