Wednesday, May 04, 2005

How Smart Brothers Get The Digits...

Wassup, Y'all!

You know, as illogical as it sounds, when it comes to getting a fly shorty's digits at the club, the smarter you are, the less likely you are to 1) get an audience with a fly shorty, 2) get her to scrawl her digits on a matchbook or napkin and 3) have those digits actually ring any phone she owns. Sad but true. Destiny's Child broke it down in their song 'Soldier' and my homeboy Donte broke it down over on 2 Guys 2 Cities with his 'A Thug or A Gentleman?' post a little while back. So what's a brother who scored more than 600 on the SAT supposed to do to get some play at the clizub? Why use the brain God gave you of course...

Of course it's simple to go the other route and just play dumb, but hey - old girl's gonna find you out eventually when she comes by the crib and actually finds a book on your coffee table instead of an old school double sided album cover with weed stems and seeds down the middle. So the next time you hit the club and you bump up on a few 'Get Right' shortys (shortys with car note sized bar tabs) trying to figure out how to split the bill, just roll up to the finest one in the crew, pull out your Texas Instruments Programmable Calculator and offer to work her bill for her - the price? Just one little favor. Before you calculate her bill, hand her the calculator and ask her to do the following:

1. Key in the first three digits of her phone number (NOT the area code)
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add the last 4 digits of her phone number
6. Add the last 4 digits of her phone number again.
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide number by 2

Have her hand the calculator back. The suave reader will recognize that the result is actually her complete phone number (won't work if old girl habitates a spot that has an area code different from yours tho). Store that bad boy away in one of your memory slots and get to calculating her bill. Wait a couple days, then give old girl a call and tell her she accidently left her phone number in your calculator and ask her whether she wants to come by and pick it up. Here it helps if homegirl is in that group that scored *less* than 600 on her SAT or a wide eyed, innocent shorty like my girl Lela Rochon.

Hey! How'd My Number Get
In Your Calculator?

Give it try - you might even get the draws just for being creative...



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