Monday, August 28, 2006

Buckwildin' in Brazil - Part I

Wassup, Y'all!

My fault y'all for lunching the last few days and not getting my normal posts out, but I think you'll enjoy what I've been cooking up. It's a multi-parter that brings back those warm feelings you felt when you first peeped Snoop and Pharrell's 'Beautiful' video and asked yourself, 'Self ? Where was I when they cast that bad boy on location in BRAZIL??

Recently, I was sippin' some Green Tea and perusing the mag rack the other day and somehow found myself drawn to the September 2006 issue of Essence Magazine. Not because Beyonce was primpin' on the cover (what cover isn't ol girl primpin on these days?) but because of the provocative cover headline: Secret Sex Vacations - The Guys-only Getaway Black Men don't want you to know about. Oh snap! I figure that's worth a 5 minute peep. 56 hours later, mama's still tryin'to pry that magazine out of my hands...

Of course, given the opening glossy, the 'Getaway' destination is the land that gave us the thong bikini and it's obligatory Brazilian wax to go with it - hallowed Rio De Janeiro - and the hedonistic mural Dr. William Jelani Cobb paints in his open-homeboy-playbook article, "Blame it on Rio" is nothing short of jaw dropping. Not because of the off-the-hook shenanigans going on down there but because of the sheer, undercover scale of southside homeboys partaking in Rio's legendary sex-trade (Homeboy alert! Now that this is in Essence, chances are you'll now need a new code word for Rio like 'Madison, Wisconsin' - as in 'Bad news baby, I have to go to *Madison, Wisconsin* for the week on business'...)

Given my basement digs, Ol Ty has never been blessed to dip his...toe in the surf of Ipanema Beach but I do have several homeboys who made the trip and instantly put Rio on their 'replay' list, returning there as frequently as their endz and fractured Portugese would allow. The pictures they shared upon their return made web porn look like swim time at the retirement home by comparison. In fact, the pictures were so buck wild I was instantly fascinated *and* intimidated by the thought of fallin' through that joint my damn self.

Cobb's article lays it all out, y'all - southside homeys flocking to Rio in droves to take advantage of an environment that lets them enjoy perks exclusively reserved for the rich and famous homeboys (even if they look like Flava Flav. Flava, I'm not hatin', cousin. I'm just statin') here in the States - namely being jocked by packs of Dimes (aka foine shortys) in every club you go to. Dimes who are capable of not only pegging the Malone Zone Shorty Damn Meter, but nuking that bad boy to bits with a wink and a smile.

Picture if you will Scenario #1 - A Homeboy's Normal U.S. Club Reception:

You spot a foine shorty at the bar sippin' demurely on a topped off Cosmo. You approach. She spots you approaching and holds out a palm as you break within four feet and says 'no' before you even pop the question... *sigh*

According to Cobb, here's the Rio Scenario:

You step into the club and take a seat. Before your a$$ hits the seat cushion *three* Leilia Archieri look alikes snuggle in next to you and begin lettin' you know how much they're feelin' you and how they'd love for you to hit it if you have the time. Daaaaamn...

Sure they're also looking to separate you from your chedda (as prostitution is legal in Brazil), but compare that outlay to the similar one you're already forking over to your therapist who's helping you get over your rejection and low self-esteem issues accrued at all those U.S. clubs over all those years Hmmmmm...

Plenty more to cover y'all as we dissect this one! Coming up - how good it can get, how bad it can get and why Snoop and Pharrel have a *big* hand in the current flow of homeboys way south of the border... Hit me back Wednesday for Part Deux, y'all.

In the meanwhile, feel free to cop a listen to NPR's take on this ruckus. My boy DLT was kind enough to forward this link about a week back before I even peeped the Essence article. As coincidence would have it, it's an interview between Ed Gordon and no other than our boy William Jelani Cobb, recorded August 14, 2006 appropriately titled Black Men and Sex Tourism in Brazil. In between time, I'll be shopping for an English/Portugese dictionary...



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