Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Buckwildin' in Brazil - Part II

Wassup, Y'all!

As you can see from the subject this is *Part Two* of this hard hitting investigative series. If you're fallin' through late, check Part One first before dipping you toes into this posting so you can follow along.

So how good can it get down in Rio for a homeboy whose confidence is shaken and stirred from frequent flame outs in the U.S. clubs? One brother broke it down like this: "There girls make you feel like a million dollars. They stroke the hell out of your ego. I have a 20-year-old who cooks and cleans for me and treats me like a god. I don't get that from Rosy Palms in America." That's pretty strong stuff, homeys...

But wait - there's more! An enterprising brother who moved to Rio full time to run a tour company that provides 'tour packages' for the upper echelon of the homeboys flocking down stated: "Women here are not trying to be equal to their men." He claims his Brazilian wifey hooks him up with breakfast in bed *erry* morning and won't let him bust a sud when clean up comes around. It seems this is the Eden-like vision that keeps the U.S. / Brazil pipeline stocked with homeboys from every walk of life - single, married, heathen, saved, white collar, blue collar, no collar. That and Snoop and Pharrell's feel good 'Beautiful' video that let's Brazilian women know that they are 'special girls' (and lets southside homeboys know that there are 'special girls' in Rio...)

But just when you thought the fantasy couldn't get bigger, a bucket of ice water gets thrown into the mix in the form of Brazil's eye catching AIDS/HIV stats (not to mention the fact that none of this treatment comes for free unless you jump the broom with one of these shortys...). Cobb points out that a 2004 UN report on AIDS clocked the number of cases in Brazil at 660,000! Granted that's only 0.3% of Brazil's total population but guess which segment likely makes up the majority of that figure? Sure you can wrap that rascal (a couple times) before getting busy (especially since most Brazilian working girls insist on this) but that's a *jacked up* thought to have in the back of your mind when you get a Brazilian shorty back to the spot. Viagra/Levitra/Cialis/Elmer's Glue might help counteract the effects of this bogus mental picture but ol Blue won't be there to hold your hand when you're opening the results of your AIDS test after your raincoat ruptures one night after some buck wild boot knocking...

Also homeys, beware that what's good for the goose is equally good for the gander (aka your boo chilling back at the crib). Cobb's article also contains an anonymously penned sidebar that itemizes how shortys are getting their swerve on 'gratis' (as in *free*, dummy) down in Jamaica with the Rasta Bways. Apparently Jamaica is chock full of grooves waiting to get back with their shorty owners. Similarly, these brothers are willing to do many of the things we seem to be unwilling to do - namely making frequent runs downtown to make sure all grooves are in their upright and locked positions and that they return safely back to the states with their shorty owners. Here too, shortys that partake in this type of ruckus cross all the economic demographic boundaries.

So Rio, like most things that are too good to be true, can seduce you with those green-eyed, junk-trunked, caramel skinned Brazilian sirens, but just like the mythical sirens who lured sailors to watery fates on the sharp rocks near shore, Brazilian shortys come with their own set of warning lights (impressive as they may be...). Proceed with caution, homeys cuz all may not be as 'Beautiful' as it seems...



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