Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Will and Jada on the Up High

Wassup, Y'all!

What the hell is the Up High you ask? Easy - it's the exact opposite of the Down Low and don't act like you don't know what that is. For the longest now, there have been lingering rumors about the Smiths and their "lifestyle". Some said they were swingers. In fact, ol Ty broached this topic back in '05 but there was never a confirmation or denial from Camp Smith...until recently. If you believe the 'interview' he gave to the UK Tabloid Now Magazine recently during his 'Hancock' UK press tour.

According to Big Willie, if he sees a hot shorty that piques his attention all he has to do is, '...tell my wife...I need to have sex with someone else'. Simple as that, y'all. It's like:

: 'Yo baby, Shawnice is lookin' hot tonight. I'm a go hit that right quick. I should be back before the kids go to sleep. Maybe a little later is she gets freaky.'

: 'Okay baby, have fun. Just be sure to wrap it up'

Will: 'Will do. Love you, Boo'

To which, ol Ty can only say, 'Daaaaaaaaamn!' (in a completely judgmental and that type of behavior is so wrong kind of way, y'all...). Thoughts after the jump...

First of all, this nonsense can't possibly be true as I haven't met a southside sister yet who wouldn't squelch that kind of talk from their man with a pot of hot grits. It may happen on some alternate earth in a galaxy far, far away, but here? It's hot grits in the grill EVERY time.

But let's say it is true and play this out. It would sure explain how Big Willy hasn't been caught rollin' out of the Beverly Hills Hilton Hotel at 2:45 in the morning like John Edwards. You have to know the number of women clamoring to get with Big Willy is pretty much off the charts - it' would take a BIG man to withstand that kind of temptation on a daily basis. A BIG man. So what's a man in that position to do who is tempted yet loves his wife? According to the article, Big Willy says,' is "healthy" to be attracted to other people and is okay telling his wife so'. See, y'all? It's all about honesty and respect in an open marriage, not hot grits and hurt feelings.

If this is true and we find that we're somehow okay with this because it's Big Willy and Jada we're talkin' about, Jenny Block from HuffPo put that type of 'Celebrity Pass' ridiculousness in pretty good context. Me? I'm more interested in just who Big Willy's been kickin' it with on the Up High. I have a couple thoughts but, of course that's just me speculatin'. But if you want to be on the Up High and still kinda keep it on the Down Low, hangin' out in Bollywood would probably work pretty well. Perhaps John Edwards will consider that for any future extracurricular late night milk runs. Still I said it back in '06 when I called out Big Willy for 'playin' both sides'. He dropped the following quote about his boo, Jada:

"You're so much stronger when your partner is strong. I honestly believe there is no woman for me but Jada. Of all the women I've met - and there've been a few - no one can handle me the way Jada does. Once you feel someone locked in on you, it's no contest. As fine as other women can be, as tempting sexually, I'm not going anywhere. This is it. I can't imagine what anyone else could offer."

If this Up High nonsense is true *and* there really were no hot grits involved, then Jada's got to be one of the strongest sisters I know. And if she's on board it's no wonder that Big Willy isn't going anywhere and can't image what anyone else would offer. It's interesting though when asked how he'd feel if Jada came to him to let him know she was headed out to knock boots with a 6'5" Jamaican fashion model named Francois, he confesses, 'I don’t know how I’d feel...but I know I would react better than if I found out about it afterwards.'

Riiiiight! Ol Ty is sensin' that divorce papers would be on the table before Jada got out 'I want to...'. Oh well, I'm going to try not to be judgmental on this one. What the Smiths do with their relationship is up to the Smiths. If that works and they're both happy and their kids become normal, productive members of society, who's ol Ty to judge? Anyway, Up High sounds so much better than Down Low, but tell you what - ol Ty is also lookin' at that Will and Jada relationship with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes in a whole new light, y'all. A whole new light....



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