Thursday, September 18, 2008

America! Listen to Luda - Open Your Eyes

Wassup, Y'all!

Runnin' on autopilot this morning, since I have an early date with the devil but I wanted to drop a quick email that Lady E. forwarded to me yesterday titled, 'Sad But True - America Today'. It's an indictment of how trivialized some folk have made this election despite the dire predicament the country finds itself in today. Encouragingly, recent polls continue to indicate that sensical folk are beginning to take things a lot more seriously, but the fact that much of the following rings true is a sad indication of just how superficial some folk have become. If you find yourself shakin' your head at some of the ridiculousness that follows - as you've seen me report a few months back, this is likely the leading culprit for this kind of thinking...

If you're a Democrat who has been in the Senate for two years, you are a Washington 'insider'. If you're a Republican who has been in the Senate for 26 years, you are a Washington 'outsider'

If you're a northsider, win a beauty contest, attended 5-6 colleges before finally graduating , join the PTA, are voted to be mayor by 1000 people, govern a sparsely populated state for almost two years, and randomly get chosen at the last minute to be VP, you've 'lived the American dream '. If you're a southsider , raised by a single mother, lived on food stamps, help the community, get into Harvard, become the first southside editor of the Harvard Law Review, and are voted the presidential nominee by millions of people, you are 'uppity' (or 'elite').

If you live in an urban area and you get a girl pregnant, you're a 'baby daddy'. If you're the same in Alaska, you're a 'teen father'.

If you are born in the 50th state of the union and got a passport at birth, you are too 'cosmopolitan' and let the 'corruption of European ideals affect your judgment'. If you grew up in the 49th state to enter the union, and never had a passport until 2007, you are a 'true patriot of America'.

Southside teen pregnancy? A 'crisis' in America. Northside teen pregnancy? A 'blessed event'.

If you grow up in Hawaii, you're 'exotic'. If you grow up in Alaska, you're the quintessential 'American story'.

If you think it's okay to shoot wolves from helicopters, you're just an average American hockey mom having some fun. If you try to ensure those wolves are treated humanely, you are out of touch with the average American

If you name your kid ' Barack', you're 'unpatriotic'. If you name your kid 'Track ', you're 'colorful'

A Democrat who doesn't fully vet a VP is 'reckless'. A Republican who doesn't fully vet a VP is a 'maverick'.

Get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you're a 'phony'. Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you're 'well loved'.

If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an 'empty suit'. If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an 'experienced executive'.

If you cheated on your first wife with an heiress, you're a 'Christian'. If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years, you're 'risky'.

If you are biracial, America needs 2 damn years and 3 major speeches to 'get to know you'. If you're a northsider, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you're 'one of us'.

If you give your wife a fist-tap on stage, it's a 'terrorist fist jab'. If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child 's hair on national TV it's an 'adorable moment'. [Alright, hold up - that was cute...]

If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you're an 'extremist'. If your pastor welcomes a sermon by Jews for Jesus, who preach that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you're a 'fundamentalist'.

If you' re 18, a northsider, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant 'life happens'. If you' re 18, a southsider, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you're a 'registered sex offender'.

If you're a Republican and you talk to America's enemies, it's 'diplomacy'. If you're a Democrat and you talk to America's enemies, it's 'appeasement'.

If you're a Republican you think women should vote for a female candidate because you share the same biology, regardless of her stand on issues. If you're a Democrat and you vote for a woman who shares your ideology, you're 'playing the gender card'.

If you are a conservative and reveal that your son will be deployed on Sept. 11, but that is only the date of the deployment ceremony, you are the mother of a patriot who is doing the best to confuse the terrorists and protect the troops being sent over. If you are a democrat and announce the same thing, you would be accused of pandering to the public and trying to garner public emotion through a lie.

If you're a Republican and you don't wear a flag pin you're a 'maverick'. If you're a Democrat and you don't wear a flag pin, you're 'unpatriotic'.

If you're a Republican senator who solicits gay sex in an airport bathroom, you get to return to your job in the Senate and are encouraged to run for re-election. If you're a Democratic Senator having an affair, your political career is over and your wife who has terminal cancer is to blame.

If Bush agrees to a set date of troops leaving Iraq it is called 'horizons'. If Obama calls for a set date of troops to leave Iraq, with the blessing of the Iraq government , it is called 'timetables', 'endangering our troops','cut and run' and 'wanting to lose the war for political purposes'.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $ 70,000 to $ 400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African American voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are 'woefully inexperienced'. If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you are ' well qualified' to lead the nation.

Shame, shame...



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