Friday, September 05, 2008

Kwame Kilpatrick: Boy King to do a bid

Wassup, Y'all!

Surprise! After months of strenuous denials of guilt, spirited guarantees of innocence and a string of questionable courtroom wardrobe choices, Kwame Kilpatrick, Boy King of Detroit, has agreed to abdicate his throne. In so doing, Boy King joins many other homeys (most notably Mike Vick) who have professed sincere innocence before accepting a plea when recognizing that their guilt was just too damn big to completely cover up. Those two knuckleheads would do well to start their path toward redemption by sending a big a$$ box of candy and a card of apology to Chicago homey Alton Logan - a brother recently released from prison after 26 years. Time spent professing his real innocence to a crime that lawyers knew he didn't commit...

Don't cry for Boy King, Argentina - the truth is he was always guilty and thought he was bigger than the game. It's interesting that some similar ruckus is now afoot in our girl Sarah Palin's (Say-Pay) background. She also had an ax to grind with a law officer and seems to have tried to manipulate her position and the situation to get a homey fired. Maybe one day soon we'll see her on a perp walk rather than on the ticket of a national political part...doh! Too late.

My boys, 'Tini Mack and Cat Daddy, were speculatin' at lunch how this turn of events would effect the object of Boy King's text affections - his former Chief of Staff Christine Beatty (C-Beat) who herself is charged with seven felonies. Ol Ty's speculation was that he'd leave her twistin' in the wind, since after all, it was always all about him anyway. Cat Daddy jumped to Boy King's defense claiming that any 'right' brother would include some consideration for C-Beat in his plea deal. In my readings ol Ty ain't seeing it. What I am seeing is a message forming in the dust following Boy King's hasty exit - it reads, 'Good Luck, homegirl! Don't forget to text! I'm out! LOL!'

So in exchange for his guilty plea to two counts of obstruction of justice, Boy King gets the following cash and prizes: Four months in jail, five years of probation, a bill for $1 million in city restitution, a five year ban on holdin' public office, loss of his law license and state pension (damn not the state pension! You know those city officials love their cushy, life-long pensions! This one even hurt me!)

Still Boy King's country a$ departed the premises talkin' 'bout, 'Detroit, you done set me up for a comeback!'. If not that, then at least the chauffeur role in the next remake of 'Driving Miss Daisy'. But ol Ty has no doubt Boy King will be back. Despite it all, for some reason they still have much love for this fool in Motown and if, George 'Segregation Now! Segregation Tomorrow! Segregation Forever!' Wallace can stage a political comeback that actually included southsiders voting for him, there's no way Boy King won't be back. The brother's too polished and connected not too. And how sad is that?

In the meantime tho - Tossed Salad Man (NSFW)! Order up on table two!



NSFW = Not Safe For Work or underage viewing!

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