Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Sarah Palin: Why not Martha Stewart...or an egg?

Wassup, Y'all!

Wow. How far have the Republicans fallen when Sarah Palin (Say-Pay) turns up as their most qualified vice presidential candidate? If I'm Kay Bailey Hutchinson or Elizabeth Dole I'm like, 'uh huh - ain't that always the way? Dog out the older, established, faithful female candidate for the young hottie with the body'. Shame, shame. Ol Ty is just as put off as you are at this ridiculous pick by Citizen McCain, but since this is the party that also handed up J. Danforth Quayle can we really be surprised?...

Now Ol Ty has to admit that it has been fun watchin' the Republicans struggle to justify just why Say-Pay is the new standard of 'the best and the brightest'. We all know this for what it is, y'all - a blatently pandering move to pull in the disaffected Sister Hillary voters. Truthfully we should have seen it coming. Citizen McCain has been buildin' toward this since Sister Hillary threw in the towel infuriating her legion of loyal followers. Suddenly, SH became Citizen's new BFF and his minion machine couldn't crank out ads fast enough - Hillary Passed Over! Congrats to Hillary for putting 18 million cracks in the hardest, highest glass ceiling! Yada, yada, yada. Here's what we know for sure. Had Sister Hillary gotten the nomination - we *never* would have seen Say-Pay on the Republican ticket...despite her being the best, most qualified candidate for the job... And those warm feelings for Sister Hillary? They'd be burning her in effigy outside the Excel Center in St. Paul. It's politics, y'all - keep up.

The Republicans in the form of George Bush, The First perpetrated this same fraud during his administration when Pop Bush nominated Clarence Thomas to fill the Supreme Court seat of civil rights icon Thurgood Marshall. Normal southsiders saw right through that charade realizing that the only thing similar between the two men was their skin color. Clarence Thomas' views are so polar opposite from Justice Thurgood's it's like comparing a rock to a T-Bone steak - they aren't even related. I had to laugh over the weekend when Mama Malone said that if Clarence Thomas passed away, the only reason why southsiders would come see him at the Capitol Rotunda would be to make sure that he was dead. Mama! You ain't right!

So now we have Say-Pay - trotted out to help pull in disaffected Sister Hillary voters. Those shortys may be mad but they aren't stupid. Just like the Clarence / Thurgood comparison, the only thing identical between Say-Pay and Sister Hill is their gender. Their stories and political views couldn't be further apart. This time lets say it's like the difference between an egg and a Chevy Tahoe. That's just some sad stuff, y'all.

Now don't get Ol Ty wrong. I don't want any angry comments claiming that I got it in for Say-Pay because she's a shorty. Not so. I just think she's more qualified coordinatin' a bake sale for her kid's Girl Scout Troop or maybe even coordinatin' Citizen McCain's ground operations in Alaska than she is being a heartbeat away from having her finger on the button. I would have been more than comfortable seeing Sister Hillary's finger on the button. Say-Pay? I get nervous when her fingers get close to her pant suit buttons. Wow. Only in America.



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